As a part-time employee it’s hard for my body to get used to the idea of a 9 to 5 schedule. The infrequent work allows me to hang onto the delusion that I’m still a college student, and has encouraged me to embrace that lifestyle. This is evident in my insistence on having a winter break, the fact I deem Wednesday acceptable for drinking and the constant battles with my RAs, Jim and Barb (dad and mom, respectively).
To be fair, with some Red Bull and hot chocolate I can get ready for the occasional days when I drive down to Albany and provide accounts on legislative public hearings for an organization called Statewatch. Also, I’m sure that if this gig became full-time my body would embrace the new schedule in just a couple of days. The problem is that on most days I don’t have any reason to get up and therefore I don’t feel the need to abandon my night owl ways.
From my parents’ point of view this means I’m being unproductive. I think they’re predisposed to accept this misconception because of their adherence to the traditional workday. In order to quell their fears though, I’m going to offer a rough outline of my nontraditional workday. Let me warn you in advance that just reading this can be draining, and when we get to the part where I take a nap, you might need one too.
9:00 a.m. (EST): Alarm clock on phone rings. I always find the most refreshing sleep to be the nap you take after waking up in the morning.
11:08: The midday heat now makes it uncomfortable to remain in bed and my body wakes me up. I immediately assess who is home and confirm that I’m alone.
11:10: I turn the shower on.
11:15: The steam is at an acceptable level so I enter the bathroom and read a magazine or watch Tonight Show clips on my computer.
11:30: I get into the shower.
11:55: I finish off the rest of television shows that are in my online queue list. I need to remain vigilant for the sake of my blog.
1:05 p.m.: Nothing of note on television last night, so I post some random thoughts about an actor who had ten seconds of screen time during House.
1:20: Time to work out.
My day isn’t done until I see three naked old guys, sweat enough that my underwear appears soiled and ogled some stay at home moms. The YMCA fills all these requirements.2:45: I settle down for a late lunch, which doesn’t feel that late since my last meal was around midnight.
3:35: I write an article for The Scene that details how hard the job market is or exaggerates my most recent job search. My hope is that the article will keep my mom off my back. (Somewhere a writer with something important to say is crying.)
4:05: As a reward for my efforts I settle down on the couch for a catnap. That’s when my cat Stewart and I sleep together.
5:00: My internal alarms go off in anticipation of my dad’s return. Rousing myself awake I settle down at my computer, which has a half-written cover letter ready for my completion. We exchange pleasantries and I finish the letter. Tomorrow I’ll find somewhere to send it.
6:30: My mom calls to say she won’t be home for dinner. I’m on my own, which is fine because I ate a box of cookies before my nap (I didn’t tell you because I was ashamed).
6:40: I close my door and watch three hours of television programming for four years ago. I then write a blog post about it for my own satisfaction.
10:00: My mom pokes her head into my room. I ask her to review my cover letter. I then announce I’m going to bed, which ensures I can watch television in my room without intrusion for the rest of the night.
12:15 a.m.: Craving something substantial I go downstairs for food after everyone else is tucked in bed. I put together a plate of frozen burritos, some pepperoni and macaroni salad. With my picnic in tow I head back upstairs.
12:20: I work on my book, which is a fictionalizing of my life that I’ve attempted at various points in my life and have never finished.
3:05: Can’t keep my eyes open. Instead of shutting my laptop off I just close it, so that it’s warm glow will act as a friendly companion in bed.
3:35: I think I hear my dad patrolling the house.
4:04: My mom startles me awake to find out if the cat is in my room. I throw a pillow at her, because I assume she is an intruder there to murder me, and confirm the cat is asleep at my feet. I go back to sleep for good.
2 comments:
Two questions, both related to showering:
1. Why can't you get in the shower after you turn in on?
2. Why do you shower before you work out? Wouldn't it be more efficient to work out first?
I like the atmosphere. You know that. That's why i would hangout in the bathroom and read under the sink while people would shower at school...
As for #2, it's not entirely accurate. I sometimes shower again.
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