Cringe Factor

Somethings should only be admired from a distance. That's how I feel about movies like SCHINDLER'S LIST or some episodes of CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM, where there is some element that makes the viewing experience painful.
Currently, I'm avoiding THE MESSENGER because i think I would cry my way through it and that doesn't sound like a great 106 minutes (made that time up).
The movie, which stars Woody Harrelson and Ben Foster (pretty sure on Foster's last name), is about two soldiers who tell people that their spouse or child has been killed in action. Fun, right?
I would be inclined to just avoid this movie, except that it got a ton of buzz last year and it is now available for instant play on my netflix. Thus, how can i retain any credibility with my readers if I pass on this experience? Frankly, I don't think I can, which is why I'm going to end up watching it.
I'm looking forward to Foster, who has been pegged as an up and coming young actor, with a co-starring role in the upcoming MECHANIC, with Jason Statham. Foster may just be a young naive actor, which allowed him to thrive as a young naive soldier, but I'm optimistic that he is actually a force.
The aspect about a military culture movie like THE MESSENGER, is viewing what is basically a foreign culture to me. I don't get people in the military and I don't grasp the code many of them live by. It's a whole different world, which has been lampooned to death by mainstream movies, so it will be nice to see the treatment this lifestyle gets from writer Oren Moverman (who wrote the mind bending, I"M NOT THERE).
But oh the crying that will come...

Still Promoting SNL

So I have no idea what Julian Assange sounds like and I know he doesn't look like Bill Hader, but I still love Hader's frequent impersonation of Assange on SNL.
The skit is basically the same premise every time (Assange interrupts a taped video with his own video), but they're consistently fresh.
Just a heads up, though, if you don't follow the news or understand pop culture, then you won't like this...

BOY that was good?

I am at most moments a Hugh Grant hater. He is annoying. He isn't very charming. He is the same character all the time.
I am at most moments e Hugh Grant fan. He is enjoyable. He is charming. He can mix it up with a variety of characters.
I love to hate Hugh Grant.

With that caveat in mind, let me tell you about ABOUT A BOY, the 2002 slightly (un)traditional film based on a book by Nick Hornby. What book? I'm guessing it wasn't the DaVinci Code.
From the director of AMERICAN PIE, comes a story that isn't a love story, but is still a romantic comedy. Sure, boy (Hugh Grant) meets girl (Rachel Weisz), does something to mess it up and ultimately redeems himself, but this is just a side plot.
The main romance would be called a bromance in the post-I LOVE YOU MAN era, but really its a father/son movie.
Grant basically plays a guy who find out he has a kid (13-year-old Nicholas Hoult), or better yet, decides it would be advantageous if he had a kid. At the same time, though, Hoult is looking for a third family member, and he just doesn't realize it's a father figure he wants.
Through a long, and somewhat predictable journey, Grant and Hoult fall for each other (but in a non-molestation kind of way)...
I found myself talking through most of this movie, whether it was guessing lines or yelling at the Toni Collette character, who could basically be described as the anti-Dave Lombardo. She is a vegetarian, dresses like she lives at a Grateful Dead and has a world view that is so skewed she must be perpetually high. To say I hated her would be an insult to the people I hate, because I love them in comparison.
Collette plays the mother of Hoult, and she should have her parental rights stripped, because (spoiler alert) she tries to kill herself. But fear not Hoult, because in England, that just means you spend the night with a friend until you can go back to caring for your mum!
So yeah, I found all of this insufferable, and the voice overs from Hoult and Grant didn't help much either.
Basically, my admiration for the movie stemmed from how realistic it was. It captured a friendship based on mutual need in a very non-gimmicky manner that appealed to me. Sure, there was the eventual grand gesture, when Grant plays guitar with Hoult during a concert.

But there were lots of nice moments, like when Hoult got a CD and announced that they didn't have a CD player or every time Grant confronted Collette about her terrible parenting skills.
I need to give credit to Grant, who was able to play a different character for once in his life. He wasn't particularly charming, but a flawed bum, who may not have been completed by the presence of Hoult in his life, but still found some meaning. He wasn't made whole and the audience wasn't convinced to fall for him unconditionally, which was nice.
Hoult also needs to be noticed as an upcoming star in this movie. He does sincerity very well and can be mature or naive at a believable balance. Maybe his character's instant evolution is a little unrealistic, since someone under Collete's roof would need to grow a lot to out grow her influence. Not sure if he has become anything since this role, because I don't remember him in the superiorly awful WEATHERMAN.
Would I recommend this movie? Yeah, reluctantly. I only say reluctantly because I think Hugh Grant fans will be slightly disappointed with this non-stereotypical role and I think anti-Hugh Grant fans won't be able to stomach this almost mainstream movie.
But if you've got 101 minutes to kill and know you have a soft spot in your heart (maybe check that out?), then this could be the movie for you. At the same time, better versions of this movie exist, including FINDING FORESTER, SCENT OF A WOMAN and LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL (even though it doesn't really count). />

PARKS is GOLDEN

It's that season again... No, not the holiday season, but AWARD SEASON!!!
Already I feel like I've been hit with a bag of coal in the face, as the Golden Globe nominations were particularly egregious.
In particular I'm annoyed by the television awards, as I have seen almost none of the nominated movies, but I do watch a lot of television.
There are plenty of categories to be annoyed about and I'll get to some of these mistakes closer to the award season.
The worst offense, though, was the omission of PARKS AND RECREATIONS.
PARKS, which began with an evolving 6 episode first season, was absolutely dynamite last year in its second season.
To say it was the funniest thing on television wouldn't be a big enough compliment to the show. I would say it was equal to the best seasons of THE OFFICE and the worst episodes of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT. Now that is definitely resonating with some fans who appreciate good comedy.
ANd just to be clear, good comedy isn't the sappy MODERN FAMILY, which is watchable as far as network television goes. Nor is GLEE, with its 2 or 3 amusing lines, good comedy. Heck, while it is a great music video, it is barely a good television show.
But I'm not hear to trash the competition (BIG BANG THEORY SUCKS!), rather I want to preach the merits of PARKS and sing its praises so that all can hear about this instant classic.
The highlight of PARKS is shoe shine Andy Dwyer (Chris Pratt), who delivers great physical comedy, whether tackling a rodent or playing with his band. Dwyer is also the most charming aspect of the show, as he is involved in a will they/won't they with intern/secretary April Ludgate (Aubrey Plaza), which is resolved to some degree in the finale.
The pair are probably the funniest aspect of the show, and definitely the sweetest part. They remind me of the Jim and Pam years on THE OFFICE when Pam was still with Roy, and I didn't hate them together like I do now.
I have also become a huge fan of the comedy stylings of Nick Offerman, who plays Ron Swanson, the mustached leader of the Parks department. He is a great foil for Amy Poehler's Leslie Knope.
What makes the show work is its unique circumstances and its sharp wit. It's not an insult to say its a copy of THE OFFICE, because while there are many differences, at their best, they both execute heart and humor perfectly.
There might be some weak moments in the show, including the sometime annoying Tom Haveford (Aziz Ansari), who is really hit or miss.
In its final 2 episodes the show introduced a new dynamic that will set it up nicely for the first couple episodes when it returns in January.
Its return date is a whole other problem for me, as NBC delayed its return to make room for OUTSOURCED. THis crime against humanity prevented NBC from actually having a killer 8-10 lineup with COMMUNITY, 30 ROCK, THE OFFICE and PARKS. But then again, what else should you expect from the 4th place network?
I can't strongly enough recommend Parks and Recreations for anyone who might have liked The Office, Arrested Development, Modern Family or The Simpsons.
Personal Highlights this season:
1. The picnic with all the former heads of the Parks department, including one who grew weed in all the parks
2. Anytime Leslie gets drunk
3. Anytime a mural is shown.
4. The halloween episode, when we meet Leslie's nemesis ... a junior high student.

Finally, here is a fun bit about Andy's band

More Denzel

Because I'm committed to bringing joy to the world during the holiday season, I will be debuting another video with Jay Pharoah as Denzel Washington.
In this installment of Pharoah's Denzel, which was the first to air, he is working returns at Macy's, while Jane Lynch wants to return a handbag.
The antagonistic Denzel is obviously reluctant to just take the bag back because it cost "a lot of money."
Ultimately, Pharoah delivers what some (either Eric or Dwayne) have referred to as the best Denzel skit to date.
You be the judge....
S

One can only hope that Pharoah, who is rumored to do a great OBAMA, will have more chances to break out the Denzel in the future.

Nothing to be Gleeful about

There are bad episodes of GLEE, and then there's the recent Christmas episode, which is barely watchable.
My position on the show, in general, is that the plots should be completely abandoned. They're completely inane and I get mad every time they try to teach me a lesson. The show has six positive attributes: Sue is fun. Brittany is hilarious. Santana and Quinn are really hot. Other Asian can dance. And finally, THE MUSICAL INTERLUDES ARE GREAT!!!
So yeah, I watch just for the music videos, and when they suck the show is barely watchable.
In Glee's rendition of HOW THE GRINCH STOLE CHRISTMAS the songs fail to elevate a particularly bad plot.
I don't know what I hated worse, the fact that Sue robs poor people (while we're supposed to sympathize with her) or the pukeworthy presence of the Glee club at Shue's house.
With the awesome directions you can pull Christmas songs, I'm bummed that GLEE, which is usually very creative, didn't come up with some original creations. And no, I'm not forgetting the duet of BABY IT"S COLD OUTSIDE, with two guys!!! CRAZY! You're so edgy, except you're not.... (On a side note, when is Kurt going to make a move?)
Here's to hoping I don't strangle myself during the next episode.
On a final note, though, I am seriously addicted to Santana's rendition of VALERIE in a previous episode.

Classy Christmas

I never truly abandoned The Office. Sure, that sixth season was tough to swallow. Probably because it became the Jim and Pam show, but I made it through that painful endeavor.
Unfortunately, I fear a lot of Office fans weren't as resilient as me. Some stopped watching the show regularly or just resented the half an hour block of time they wasted each week.
I remained a loyal viewer, if not a punctual one. Maybe I watched Parks and Rec or Community first when catching up online, but I always kept tabs on my Dunder Mifflin friends.
For my patience I was rewarded with the two-part classic known simply as, Classy Christmas. Was it good? Let me put it this way, "It [was] like a party for limousine drivers."
This is a great Christmas episode. These episodes, which have become a tradition of THE OFFICE to mixed success, are always when the writers commit themselves to taking a big swing at the plate.
This episode, directed by Dwight and written by Kelly, strikes the perfect balance of drama, the ridiculous and provided each employee a chance to shine.

Let me first touch on the breakout star, Erin (Ellie Kemper), who was hilarious with her antagonistic feelings toward Holly. For some reason, she's just not impressed with Holly. Maybe it's because Michael is like a substitute dad, and no one is good enough for her dad, but the dynamic is amazing.
My favorite quote was when Erin mused, "Maybe Holly's not in any position to be shooing guys away."
The most surprising aspect of the show was how Dwight turned the tables on Jim, as he pulled the ultimate prank by obliterating him in a no-limits snowball fight. I guess I shouldn't have been surprised, though, since Dwight obviously views the situation as a war, which he even wages with psychological terror.
Ultimately, the episode is about wooing the affection of H.R. superstar Holly.
Her return to Scranton is precipitated on Toby's role as a juror (on a case that may or may not involve the Scranton Strangler), and she seems to return without missing a beat. She and Mike are in the throes of a skit before she can put her stuff down.
When she does put down her gear, which includes an "Woody" doll from the Toy Story Movies, Holly reveals that A.J. gave her the doll and that they're still together.
This is a crushing blow to Michael, who delivers a series of defeatist quotes that I immediately posted on Sean Kirkpatrick's wall when I heard them.
Michael obviously engages in some childish antics akin to a temper tantrum upon realizing things won't work out as he planned, but it doesn't devolve to the point where viewers begin hating him.
Instead he remains a lovable loser, who we can keep rooting for, and with reason, because Holly is thinking about ending things with her BF if he doesn't take things to the next level. (For my money, the fact that Holly doesn't automatically realize she should be with Mike when she comes back to Scranton is a demerit. Does Michael want to be the second choice, even if it is the right one?)
Anyway, this episode is sweet, without being Jim and Pam season 6 sappy, but also hits like a roid rager, with surprise lines and sight gags that are second to none.
The flip side is that whenever THE OFFICE reminds us of its greatness, it is setting up a bar that it hasn't consistently met since seasons 2 and 3.
Did I mention Dwight shows a variety of disguises he has for various Dunder Mifflin employees...

Worth a Stare

It would be fair to say that I have a thing for George Clooney. A man crush? Those are your words, not mine. But yeah, I'm gay for Clooney.
Unfortunately I can't say the same about Ewan McGregor, an annoying Englishman who is good looking and... well that's about it.
In Men Who Stare at Goats, the somewhat true story directed by Grant Heslov, a sometime partner of Clooney, we're given a wild romp with McGregor and Clooney. The problem is the ride isn't that wild, but more inane.
Additionally, McGregor is just about terrible in the movie. It's like he saw Ocean's 11 and tried to be one of the guys from that, except his accent is terrible and he's about as charming as a venereal disease.
He is a reporter looking for adventure in Iraq, and instead he finds Clooney, who is a former super soldier or Jedi form the 1980s.
It's as a Jedi that Clooney carries the movie. I mean can you imagine hearing Clooney explain that he is a jedi and has mind powers. Did I mention he has a mustache and crazy eyes?
Unfortunately this zany plot, which is riddled with flashbacks, doesn't really captivate any interest. It's almost like the movie went back and forth between fiction and reality, before finally settling just on bad.
THe flashbacks, though, are mildly entertaining specifically Jeff Bridges shit eating grin throughout them, as he recreates some version of "The Dude."
Bridges is a hippy commander who trained Clooney and Clooney's nemesis, Kevin Spacey.
Yes, Kevin Spacey is in this movie, because he likes to be in every "adult" movie. He plays some version of himself, but this time as a bad guy. In this role he is boring and unwatchable.
Yet, would I recommend this movie? I did mention that Clooney has a mustache and repeatedly claims to be a jedi, right?
If you love Clooney and have some free time, watch this. Because it's short, you don't need that much free time.
You would be better off, though, seeing Dr. Strangelove or Ocean's 11.

Staying Hip

While I am usually the first to know about movies in the works, the future of television shows or the latest dirt on celebrity couples, I lag tragically behind my peers when it comes to knowing modern popular music.
Recently I was put to the test of identifying the rapper Drake, which I did somehow. But to be honest, i'm more familiar with Drake cupcakes than Drake's music.
So with this confessed ignorance in mind, here are three current songs That I'm into.

Ke$ha's "We R Who We R"
This infectious diddy sounds just like everything else she has created, which is fine by me, because i think Ke$ha has found a winning formula.



I have always had a special place in my heart for Sara Bareilles, whose album I used to play over and over again when driving places with my roommate Sean Kirkpatrick in college. Pretty sure we both know all the words to the song "Fairytale" or some name like, but now i'm into the song "King of Anything."



Bruno Mars has been described as the Hawaiian Elvis, but I think he should be called the Hawaiian Phil Spector. What? You don't know who he is? Well he is a murderer, who also produced a ton of great upbeat music 40 years ago. I think Bruno Mars carries on that mantle, as embodied by the song "Runaway Baby."

"Ok, all right."

What I deem funny is rarely the same as my peers, especially when it comes to Saturday Night Live clips. This relic of the past seems to be the bastion only of hipsters, which I reluctantly find myself a part of. As a result, I often find clips to be so hilarious that they need to be shown to the world (also known as my immediate friends that will sit down in front of a computer).
There have been successes in the past, specifically my sharing of the David Paterson bit on Weekend Update. This recurring skit routinely killed my roommate, Sean Kirkpatrick, who frequently returned to it for a chuckle.
In Saratoga Springs I was never quite that lucky, until I discovered a celebrity impersonation that killed me.
Jay Pharaoh first made himself known to me when he did a spot on impersonation of Will Smith on an early episode of SNL this season. The featured player was hilarious as Smith, but the problem is that Smith isn't exactly a caricature of himself and therefore an impersonation just captures a slightly ridiculous person.
Luckily, Denzel Washington is not even remotely grounded to reality in his acting roles, which Pharaoh mimicked in a redone trailer for "Unstoppable."
This skit was viewed over and over by my friends Alex, Dwayne and Eric, who then repeatedly uttered lines while at the bars, to patrons who thought they were looking at three escaped mental patients.
When they got home around 5 a.m. they woke me up so i could replay the video, which they then watched for another half an hour.
Here it is....

Shady's Back, Tell a Friend

In what is probably an unwise move I've decided to rekindle my entertainment blog. I'm sure my avid readers (all one of you) have noticed that I haven't been posting lately.
This sad dynamic is the product of my job, which wants to own me, but i'm bucking that trend and will continue to write for the people.
What does that mean to you?
Well, I just got Netflix, so I'll be addressing more television shows from the past and random movies no one but me has ever seen. Fear not, though, because i'll be staying hip and current with my musings on shows like Glee, The Office and Fringe.
I might even expand my purview to include life in my new house.
What do you think?

These Are Your Guys

The genius behind the collaborations of Adam McKay and Will Ferrell is their ability to find originality and hilarity in the mundane. They find comedy in the instances and events that are not considered a gold mine for humor. When they fail to score big laughs is when they break from this formula and lampoon things (ice skating) that are already a laughingstock.
Luckily, Ferrell and McKay have returned to their best ingredients in THE OTHER GUYS. The idea of making a comedy about the average cops that make up most of the forces across the country and are responsible for 98% of the actual work is great.
The movie starts with an immediate bang by ridiculing the over the top action personalities and sequences that make up cop movies. Samuel Jackson and Dwayne Johnson are perfectly cast and perfectly execute the cops that save the day in our summer thrillers. Ultimately, this is the produces one of my favorite laughs in the movie as reality strikes.
Reality doesn't last too long, though, as our everday heroes become the fictionalized Goliaths they're making fun of. That's all fine, because it simply represents the second act in a movie that is basically a series of amusing skits.
The movie works as a series of skits because the skits are funny and they don't need to form some comprehensive scheme. There is no overly complicated plot, at least not one worthy of being followed.
There is an annoying bit that revolves around Ferrell's relationship with his wife, Eva Mendes. The joke is that she's too hot for him, but he acts like nothing is out of the ordinary and she's a plain Jane. This joke is amusing at first, and Mark Wahlberg does an admirable job prolonging it, yet Ferrell totally kills it. He kills it by abhorrent behavior that really soured me on him. This is compounded by a ridiculous back story that was really the only thing in the movie that didn't work.
Wahlberg is dynamite as the serious cop in this screwball comedy. He remains grounded in a way that keeps the movie from spinning off its axises, and yet he still nails every chance he gets to play kooky with Ferrell.

The happy surprise was the comedy chops of Michael Keaton, who has been the funniest thing this summer after this and his role as Ken in TOY STORY 3. As the beleaguered Captain he is extremely likable, grabs big laughs with his ignorance about TLC and really brings it home when he thinks Ferrell is dead at the end of the movie.
All in all this was a good experience. I doubt it will stand repeat viewing, as many of the laughs are derived from their surprise. One of the best examples of this is the bribing executed by Steve Coogan's villain.
So while this movie may not stand the test of time, you should definitely see it now.

Studio Execs are Schmucks

Lets begin with the title, DINNER FOR SCHMUCKS, which is a complete misnomer. The only schmucks in the movie are the people hosting the dinner. A dinner that is referred to repeatedly as one for idiots. So i have to wonder, why did they keep the French title???? To be provocative? For continuity? Because of an underlying message that weirdos aren't schmucks, because schmucks are really jerks (like the supposed "normal" people)? If that's the case then I went a long way for a theme that is stupid and doesn't belong in a movie with a ton of comedians. Just make a movie that says be nice to people. Ugh
Anyway, the movie itself is a cringe-athon that ends with enough sappiness to ruin 100 pancakes. The cringes come in awkwardly forced moments that aren't plausible and therefore are almost completely devoid of humor. This is referring to all the staged gags and not the riffs that are obviously the product of the all-star cast.
This is the case with Kristen Schaal who dominates every scene she's in. It is almost sad to watch Rudd play it straight along side her when you know he could go toe to toe with her if given the freedom to use his strengths. Schaal's FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS co-star, Jermaine, doesn't fare as well in the movie. His character is too much of a gimmick and he's constantly trying to fulfill the terrible creation of some writer somewhere, when in reality he could probably have ad libbed his part with better results.
As for Steve Carell's idiot in the movie, he is more mentally challenged than anything else. He means well, but can't really function at a typical level. Isn't that like the definition of the nice retarded people you meet? (Editor's Note: Dave is allowed to write idiotic things like this because he is obviously retarded. Couldn't you tell?)
Carell is likable enough in the movie, to the point where I felt myself rooting against Paul Rudd. This was a strange feeling considering Rudd could play Osama Bin Laden and probably generate a fair amount of empathy from me. In this role he's just dirty and pathetic, the kind of anti-hero that doesn't deserve a happy ending.
Unfortunately this is a very Hollywood movie and Rudd gets his hollywood ending. Ultimately, this is the downfall of the movie, which is elevated to mediocre standing by an All-Star cast. Honestly, Galifianakis, Schaal and Carell provide the movie with real credibility. At the same time, though, I think some producer got the idea of cramming the movie with types and characters that the movie felt very formulaic and is if they were throwing everything in the book at us.
Essentially I didn't care about this movie. That's not a major flaw in a comedy, but my general apathy kept me from even following this movie. It couldn't hold my attention and didn't warrant many chuckles.
After seeing this movie I felt like a schmuck for having such high hopes.
Finally, maybe this is a crazy idea, but what if the roles were reversed? It seems predictable to me the way the movie was cast. A reversal of the kind PINEAPPLE EXPRESS executed might have put us off balance enough to break this formulaic movie.

Need Not Apply

With the announced departure of Steve Carell from THE OFFICE after the 2010-2011 season, producers have begun planning for life after Carell. Apparently the front runners for the head job include Danny McBride and "Murray" from Flight of the Conchords. Both would be hilarious additions to the show, but only a show with Carell at the helm.
As far as I'm concerned, THE OFFICE should go off on a relatively high note and take retirement in the spring of 2011. The show might be able to reinvent itself, but I'm doubtful. I'd rather we all part ways amicably and with the chance to bring fresh energy to a new project. Give us the payouts we want, which include Jim and Pam moving on, Michael marrying Holly and Toby throwing himself from the roof of Dunder Mifflin (and living with a ton of broken bones).
That's what I think. Do you want the show to go on or do you not even care at this point?

Better Left Unopened

When I saw the trailer for THE BOX i was instantly a believer in this Twilight Zone-esque film. It had the throwback plot and throwback setting that swept me away from my world and into a new one.
THe plot, as portrayed in the brief synapses designed to generate intrigue was simple enough. Cameron Diaz and James Marsden could push a button and get a million dollars, with the added benefit of killing a stranger. Plus there was a guy with a messed up face and eerie looking people.
The final product was a complicated trek through strange southern accents, tacky outfits and overcomplicated threads about salvation, Mars and moral choices.
Ultimately the movie spins a yarn that leads nowhere. Much like our heroes, we're looking for a way out, but the only ending is unsatisfying. We end up being led through door after door with no end in sight, until we fall through a series of loopholes that bring us to the end. It is especially disappointing considering the movie is nearly two hours long, and 85% of that time was a waste.
Cameron Diaz is painful to watch in the movie, but is especially tough to listen to. Her accent sounds like the product of acting school for dummies or the aftermath of an old soap opera binge. Regardless, I found her totally unsympathetic and was excited when she finally gets her just desert. Seriously, she had it coming.
James Marsden shows us why he is so great as Cyclops, because that mask lets him hide the fact that his face isn't capable of much expression. He does dull outrage, dull shock and mild happiness quite well. Unfortunately, in a movie that is supposed to have high shock value his expressions are rather limited.
I was intrigued with all the NASA angles, except that they're not explored as a possible vehicle for problems and solutions. Instead we're left in the dark, and Mars is only hinted at as the possible source of Earth's problems. (Spoiler Alert: My interpretation of the movie was that when NASA began exploring Mars they opened up a connection with a higher power that began judging them to see if the people of Earth should be allowed to further exploration. But that's just my guess.)
Anyway, I wouldn't recommend this movie to anyone I wasn't mad at. THE BOX might have contained secrets and fun, but this box is a bore. You're better off watching INVASION OF THE BODY SNATCHERS or some other Twilight zone creation than pretending to be excited by THE BOX.

This Collar Looks Good.

I am not an easy judge of any media I consume. Frankly, I'm a bit of a downer when it comes to tv shows and movies that have mass appeal. I probably nit pick and denigrate more than I should.
Maybe this was the case with season one of White Collar. Regardless, I can authoritatively say (because I have my own blog) that season two is a refreshing breath of air and a quality summer dalliance.
The show revolves around a con man who has turned his skills into an asset of the FBI. This is still the essential plot in the second season, except the running theme isn't a chase for an annoying ex-gf, but rather exploring who killed her. This is a plus for two reasons: 1, Our hero is better as a swinging single and 2, It has introduced a mysterious bad guy who actually has some balls. (Even if we don't know who this is, at least we know he or she likes killing.)
Additionally, it has allowed one of my favorite characters, Alex (Gloria Votsis with plenty of time since GATES was canceled) to enjoy an expanded role. She was the girl Neal kept at an arms length before, but now seems poised to enter his life in a closer way.
The other fun piece of the puzzle is Marsha Thomason as the hot/sexy FBI agent working under Peter. She helps even things out in terms of pressence against the overwhelming persona that is Neal. She also benefits from an off the books endeavor with Peter, which has them running a parallel investigation to Neal's snooping.
All in all, the show is fun and good. Some might even say good fun. It still utilizes the episodic format, but with a good amount of running stories and a reduction of Kelly from saved by the bell.
The best part is, you can't get involved now on PRIMETIME ON DEMAND and skip out on the waste that was season one.

Looking Bloody at the Half

We’ve reached the halfway mark on TRUE BLOOD, but I’m all the way to erection town right now. Maybe it was Bill’s open wounds and the chance he might die or the fear of Tara’s monster arms, but I’m super excited right now. Six episodes in and I could watch the next six without blinking.
Here’s a quick synopsis of where we are now: Bill is near death (but will probably feast on Sookie and put her in a coma); Sookie is being eaten by a vampire that hates her (and probably Bill, see previous remark); Eric has abandoned the Queen and is working for the Mississippi King (although this is probably a long con, which ends with him getting vengeance on the King, who killed his dad); Terry is moving in with Arlene (and his inner demons are coming too!); Arlene isn’t a natural redhead (probably); Jessica is working at Merlottes (and feasting on patrons); Hoyt is dating midgets (and has probably developed other odd sex fetishes); Jason wants to be a cop, but is mostly interested in banging this strange lady (who is probably a magical creature); Andy is still wearing his cast (and that’s not counting the one on his cock, whatever that means); Tara tried to kill Franklin (and probably failed), but was hilarious in the aftermath (to the point where I almost liked her); Alcie looks great naked and seems poised to rescue Sookie (but I still can’t understand why he likes trailer trash lady); Sam is trying to save his brother (who appears to be the property of Michael Vick); and Lafayette is failing to bang Jesus (not that Jesus, unless you’re thinking of the Spanish one, of which there are many).
SO there it is in a nutshell. This season has been a little spread out, with way too much whining from Sookie, but there are many hidden gems in the show. I say hidden because the vast nature of the show’s stories makes it hard to appreciate what you’re seeing.
These diamonds in the rough include Eric’s role as a schemer. It appears that he is just going along for the ride or overtly making plans, but everything is below the surface. He’s at a simmer right now and has the potential to explode soon. On the comedic front I’ve enjoyed much of Jason’s antics as the new comic relief for the show. This is in addition to Andy and Terry, who are amazing pinch hitters off the bench.
I think this season has been a boon to Arlene, who has benefited from expanded exposure and the interplay with Jessica.
Unfortunately Jessica and Hoyt have been terribly mismanaged this season. Their love affair was cut right while it was beginning to blossom, and now the show is getting too cutesy with their devices to keep them apart. If Bill and Sookie keep coming back for each other it seems like Hoyt and Jessica should get second or third chances. Regarding Jessica, though, I was disappointed that her relationship with Pam didn’t get a chance to really flourish. Although I guess the magister holding Pam captive could be part of the reason for their distance.
A major disappointment is the failure of Sam's story to develop. It looked mildly promising when Tommy's dad appeared possessed and there might be an interesting back story, but it appears that all we have there is a bunch of dependent nuts who can't quit the people who cause them the most pain.
The breakout performance of the season has been Denis O’Hare as Russell Edington, the King of Mississippi. He plays this diabolical villain with all the pomp and panache of a drag queen, yet retains an understated air of evilness and power. Every sentence that escapes his lips is dripped in a warm sing song quality that puts you to sleep when you know in your bones he is death. He is in many ways the worst of Eric, as he has cultivated a distance from his humanity so that it only manifests itself in his attempts to retain domestic bliss. Even with the dire consequences he presents, he still is hilarious as the gay king (who will probably be thwarted by Eric).
I’m also in love with Evan Rachel Wood as the Queen. She has made this character her own, in a way that has been interesting and compelling. The other newbie standout has been James Frain as Franklin Mott, the Vampire detective. He is a whole bunch of crazy, which has been a pleasure to follow.
Alcide (Joe Manganiello) is still an unknown variable. He is hot, but that only gets you so far in my book. Yeah, he has great facial hair, but that doesn’t carry you past the goal line. Especially considering his devotion to the nutjob doesn’t make any sense and is a little bit annoying. With six episodes to go, I’m really looking for him to make some giant moves.
TRUE BLOOD is one of the smartest shows on television right now. It is what I imagine I’d be writing, which is essentially an inside joke for all the people smart enough to get it. (Editor’s note: Wow, does everyone else hate him as much I do right now? What a snob. Except he has nothing to feel special about. No one is actually reading this. It’s more just sad that I have to edit this. FML.) The show’s jokes are simple gags that are probably just writer room fodder that they throw in because they’re daring anyone else to beat their leftovers. The action itself is calculated and deliberate, in a fashion that mimics MAD MEN, except it is 457 seasons of that show trapped in one and the cocktail parties are blood filled sex orgies. Seriously, though, the narrative of TRUE BLOOD is like the most confusing map ever conceived and it is drawn out in a way that evokes every heightened emotion a fan can muster.
At its root the show is about sensationalism. Pushing boundaries for the sake of ridiculousness, with the whimsies of a twisted mind being granted the freedom to run wild. In its most complicated form, TRUE BLOOD is a high minded critique of a culture built on false narratives and a closed eye to reality. For me, though, it is enjoyed with friends (Alex and Whitney) and without any sense of propriety as I go along for this guilt trip.
“I don’t know what you done to me, but I know this much is true, I wanna do bad things with you. I wanna do really bad thing with you.”
P.S. There are Werewolves now.

I Like It Mad

HELP! I need somebody. Help! Not just anybody. Specifically, I need Don Draper to rescue me from the doldrums of summer television. Ask and 1964 will deliver, with the fourth season of MAD MEN.
In the latest incarnation of MAD MEN we’re following our sexist alcoholics through the trials and tribulations of their fight as an upstart ad agency. The show embodies the changing atmosphere of the time, particularly concerning style, that was marked by the British invasion of the Beatles.
The workplace environment at the newly minted “Sterling Cooper Draper (British Guy)” reflects the latest fads and style with office décor and the dress of the hipsters, Peggy (Elisabeth Moss) and some art guy (I couldn’t find out who he was, but he looks exactly like the male lead in SYNDEY WHITE. Yeah, I’ve seen that movie multiple times…).
It is especially interesting to note the evolution of Peggy, who is the modern woman. Her fight for equality may not be completely over, but she has won the war and the few men who don’t know it yet will find out soon. She acts and looks like the female coed of the late 60s, as if she should be preaching about the women’s liberation movement and then going to a kegger. She’s cool, she’s sophisticated and sexually aware. Although Peggy wouldn’t go to a women’s liberation meeting, she would just seize the day and let the other ladies wake up to reality. (I’m writing about you, Joan.) A lot of this power stems from the way Don courted her when forming his new agency, which suggested how important she was and probably solidified her confidence.
Peggy’s unofficial other-half, Pete Campbell (Vincent Kartheiser), has found his own place as the mover and shaker at SCDP (I think the P stands for Pryce). Campbell is now essentially head of accounts, with the other account men existing solely as names on the door. He’s still as annoying as ever, but he has sort of settled down into a somewhat likeable character. At SCDP his future is essentially whatever he can make of it, whereas as at the old place he was stuck behind Ken Cosgrove. All of this explains his drive and desire, which are limitless because his potential is limitless. Ok, that’s not completely true, because his insufferableness will eventually sabotage him.
It’s too bad for Pete that he could never be Roger Sterling (John Slattery). Slattery takes over the character of Sterling with a new direction, so far as he appears concerned with the trip now. He is working to expand their agency with a passion previously only reserved for drinking and screwing. Granted, he is mostly the classic Roger, who is more concerned with Don’s social life than his work life, even though he is the boss.
Most importantly, though, Roger delivers the best line of the night. When critiquing Don for not giving a reporter enough facts, he says the reporter was forced to make certain “assumptions.” That whole speech brought down the crowd at the Lombardo household, err, apartment, with my mom and I laughing, as my dad shushed us.
In case you’re wondering about the rest of the staff, here is a quick rundown: Joan is basically the head administrator, with some heretofore unseen responsibilities that probably represent more duties than at her old post. We’ll probably see how her dick of a husband feels about all this work, as hopefully we’ll get to watch him walk out on him and hopefully into the arms of Wilt Chamberlin. Seriously, who from the show should she settle for? I think that’s the real problem, which is that any guy would be her settling.
Kinsey, Kenny and the weird foreign duo appear to have not made the cut. Last we saw Pete was chosen over Ken and Peggy over Kinsey, but hopefully they’ll get to join the team in some capacity. Although team isn’t exactly right, they’re form of a family in this latest installment (I’ll get to that).
Henry Crane (Rich Sommer) did make the cut in his capacity as TV guy. I don’t remember exactly how it all went down, but I think he was bullied into joining the SCDP. His first appearance this season was very amusing, as he returned from a trip to California with a quality sun burn on his forehead. His most interesting development, though, was his role in a meeting where a client jumped ship. He wasn’t just a scared member of the family, but more like an aging son whose opinion is now respected and counted.
So about this family dynamic, I really feel like what we have at the office is a family. This is especially evident in the case of Don, who doesn’t really have a family since his wife started banging Henry and winning mother of the year awards. Now Don is defined by his work, more than he was when he had a wife to consider or kids to ignore.
The Partridge family feel sets up like this: Don is the dad and Roger is the wife. The Brit is their cousin, son of the uncle they respect, Cooper. Pete is the Brit’s boy and Peggy is Don’s daughter, which is why he holds her to such a high standards. Joan is the adopted cousin twice removed, which makes it ok for anyone to bang her. The artsy guy is Peggy’s friend who hangs around is part of the family by default.
Considering the convenient way all of this came together it feels like I would be remiss to not make such corny connections. The final product is starkly different than the old agency and the old show.
One of the main changes revolves around the fact that it feels like they’re actually working. The drinking and the smoking is more of a set piece now, and not the only action. It’s almost as if they actually have a reason to drinking, because they’re doing all this work.
For some reason all of this bothered me at first. I felt like it wasn’t being true to the original show, but I realized that the failing was in my part. The show is about Mad Men in the 1960s and this isn’t a static concept. I was clinging to the past in a way that is impossible for a show that takes place in such a turbulent time. So there will be changes, and while people of Sal’s ilk are still left to wander the parks, many others are being implemented and causing noticeable differences.
As mentioned earlier, the biggest difference is the restructuring of Don’s life. He is divorced and living in an apartment, while his ex-wife is remarried to Henry and living in their old home.
The picture we see of Betty and Henry is pretty messed up. Betty is either taking her anger out on her kids or is merely continuing the slow progression of terrible parenting that has marked her tenure during the show. It was nice to hear a character voice the audience’s feelings that Betty is a bad mom. The ice queen appears to be warming to her title in her mannerisms and now manifests her chilly demeanor in her clothes.
Stylistically Betty seems very conservative, with a tendency to reflect the more proper role she is playing as the wife of an elder politico. I can’t articulate the point better than to say, the show feels like it got it right. The evil mother acts and dresses like the prototypical evil step-mom.
Season four of Mad Men seems poised to be a rollercoaster ride of epic proportions, and not just for the slow moving show that is. The success of the agency relies on an ambitious gambit that we’ll follow throughout the season. Additionally, we have the quixotic quirks of Betty’s home life, which includes a rapidly aging Bobby, a husband who can only get it up when the sex is mischievous and a daughter who will most likely need therapy and probably embrace the counter culture movement.
The premier episode set the stakes for what is to come and helped us understand where we are. I’m super excited, and not just because I’m confident that Vietnam will go well this time around. I’m excited because we get to see our characters in new positions that will test them in new ways and allow us as viewers to experience them in new ways.
There is, though, the possibility that the show has jumped the shark. (Editor’s Note: Shut your mouth!) I’m reluctant to say it, but the new show could represent the kind of gimmick that is the product of a desperate show that has run out of ideas. I don’t believe this is the case, but I do think it is a possibility.
Let me close with a reaffirmation of my devotion to MAD MEN. I really enjoyed this first episode last night. At the same time as I’m following the latest episodes I’m watching the show from the beginning with the Ventre clan. Not everyone needs to replicate my cultish fandom, but I would recommend you hop on the train from the beginning. I would even say you might be able to jump on the bandwagon now, because the latest version could represent a fresh start for people a little late to the party. But seriously, bring a lot of liquor and cigarettes. And oh yeah, get ready for it rough, because that's how Don likes it in the sack now....

Park Your Butts With These Trailers

I'm probably too harsh of a movie critic. It is possible that my hesitation to fully embrace certain films keeps me from appreciating them the same way other people do.
The same would not be said about my adoration for trailers. I love watching movie trailers, especially new ones in the theater. There is nothing like the excitement generated by the best two minutes of a 100 minute film thrown up on the big screen. At this point the movie hasn't disappointed me and it has all the potential in the world.
Here are some movie trailers I'm excited about...

THE SOCIAL NETWORK: THis movie is about the founder of Facebook, Mark Z-something. It stars the kid from ADVENTURELAND, which means I will overtly hate on him while really being uber jealous of him. THe movie has a feel of Shakespeare in a modern setting, akin to O or CRUEL INTENTIONS.
The bonus is a musician turned actor turned musician turned SNL guest in some role. See if you can spot him. I'm super excited about his inclusion in the movie.


RED: So the idea for the movie isn't totally original, but it has never been done with actors of this caliber. Essentially you've got Bruce Willis, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman and Jon Malkovich as former CIA agents who for some reason are brought back into the action way past their prime. Actually, the show CHUCK did something similar with Fred Willard as an old spy that was pretty funny. THe major selling points about this movie for me are Helen firing guns and Malkovich doing the off the wall comedic rants he perfected in BURN AFTER READING.
This movie looks like fun, and has the kind of mass appeal cast to be a major hit. I'm really excited. The title means Retired Extremely Dangerous (I think).



DUE DATE: Todd Phillips (Old School, Starsky and Hutch, The Hangover) has a pretty good track record with movies. Throw in Downey Jr. and Galifianakis and this is a sure fire hit. If it feels too much like THE HANGOVER then you should be happy, since that movie was funny. This trailer is over the top and ridiculous. I'm excited.


THE TOWN: If you liked HEAT then i've got a movie for you. This film marks the directorial return of Ben Afflek, but more importantly signifies another jump to the big screen for Jon Hamm! THe movie looks pretty cool, even if Jeremy Renner feels like his old B-level self and Rebecca Hall appears to be as annoying as ever.
See if you can spot the trashy Gossip Girl star slumming it for this Bastan roll. Honestly, though, this looks exactly like HEAT. My sophomore year roommate will be so excited, if and only if he can ignore his distaste for Ben. (I just assume he hates him.)

This Is Not a Dream: Or is it????

(Editor’s Note: This blog post is technically littered with “spoilers.” But we ask you, can they really be spoilers if the writer has no idea what he is talking about?)
As the director of DARK KNIGHT, Christopher Nolan has a free pass from me for the next twenty movies he makes. Fortunately for me, though, Nolan isn’t resting on his laurels and comes out swinging with INCEPTION.
INCEPTION is a combination heist film and sci-fi mind bender. It feels like a melting pot for OCEAN’S ELEVEN, THE MATRIX and MEMENTO. We’ll break it down in that order…
Ok, Leo Dicaprio is no George Clooney in terms of charisma, but he can assemble a team and he does look good in a suit. INCEPTION is not nearly as much fun as the gang of eleven, who never matched the same dire consequences of our dream thieves. Those cats were having fun in Las Vegas, while our protagonist can’t even enter the country legally.
The similarities revolve around the layered plan and the posse atmosphere. The former is too complicated for my brain to replicate, as it dives deep into sub-sub-subconscious territory in a squirrely way that alluded me even after the credits had begun rolling. As for the posse atmosphere, INCEPTION does a good job assembling a gang we can root for.
In the Andy Garcia, circa OCEAN’S THIRTEEN, role, we have Samurai Ken. He has the possible savior for Leo, although he offers salvation at a price, which is one last big job. He’s along for the ride, although his journey is abridged early on by a possibly life threatening gun-shot wound.
Bringing the funny is Tom Hardy, as a forger and all around odd job guy who is a foil to Leo’s dark personality. I’m not sure which OCEAN’s character he represents, but he definitely embodies the light hearted fun that Cheadle, Damon and Pitt brought to that team. For my money I think this guy saves the movie. He offers a contrasting tone that if absent would have generated a different movie, which would have suffered from taking itself too seriously.
The disappointing role is given to Ellen Page. As the Brad Pitt-esque confidant and filling the vagina requirement carried by Julia Roberts in the ELEVEN, Page falls flat. I think her problem is the product of a bad role. Nolan has never done a good job with female characters, except for Carrie Anne Moss in Memento, with the different Rachels in the Batman movies representing his most dramatic failures (annoying and useless). Juno doesn’t fail to live up to the part, but it does feel like we’re relying too heavily on a girl that hasn’t mastered contraception.
I felt let down by Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s role. While my man crush on him is probably unhealthy, it is not without merit. Levitt is a scene stealer and a versatile actor, which is why it wasn’t enough to merely have him playing the stiff #2 to Leo’s #1. He ends up carrying off the role with such ease, that even his climactic fight scene in a hotel that defies gravity doesn’t pack that much of a punch.
It was nice, though, to see him continue his evolution as an actor with another step outside his original comfort zone.
Our villain isn’t really a villain, which is kind of disappointing because in this aspect the movie is more like THE STING and my analogy is slightly strained. Regardless, it appears that Nolan has an infatuation with Cillian Murphy, who has made the jump Gotham City to Dream World, USA. Murphy is fine as the confused heir to a fortune that our heroes want manipulate. He’s actually slightly more than good, as he adapts radically shifting characters through his consciousnesses.
Let’s get to the MATRIX, which exists in terms of the film’s trippiness and never quit villain. The trippineess is easy to explain: The movie is about people who invade your consciousness and steal your dreams. But are those dreams real or is your life real? Who is to say what is real? Maybe there are degrees of realities? This movie isn’t as complicated as the MATRIX, but it still offers a wild ride on par with anything the Grisswalds ever did.
As far as the villain part executed to perfection by Hugo Weaving as Mr. Smith, we now get the evil styling of Marion Cotillard as Mal. She is Leo’s dead wife, who plagues his dreams and therefore represents an unwieldy threat to the team’s mission. She attacks with the same relentless fervor of Mr. Smith, but with ten times the sexiness and two times the creepiness.
Finally, the MEMENTO elements present themselves in the creative story telling devices and complicated story, which is ultimately the product of a troubled past.
I wouldn’t say I loved this movie, since it relied too heavily on the gimmicks of the world it created. “Oh look, we can defy physics!” Yeah, it was cool, but the troubled history of Leo’s character had some of the same failings of his work in SHUTTER ISLAND. I just didn’t care and it dragged on way too much.
Additionally, there wasn’t nearly enough Michael Caine in the movie for me.
I feel like everyone could have used a butler, which is why he should have been in every scene.
I don’t think it is a detriment to the movie that I didn’t grasp everything even in the end. INCEPTION didn’t require a ton of brain power, which I liked, but I felt the lack of clear resolution (and I’m not talking about the spinning top) is a failing of the movie. It is ok if there are still questions, but there needs to be a framework for the viewer to reason some of them out. The foundation I was left with was shaky and unreliable.
On the whole I could have used more OCEAN’s ELEVEN and less of the conflicted past. The movie is at its best when all the gears of the film are turning, like when the van is crashing off the bridge and Levitt is moving along the ceiling. Unfortunately these scenes are outweighed by dragging scenes with Marion and Leo, which ended up detracting from an intense finale that would have been more powerful if I wasn’t already tired of the dynamic.
This movie definitely warrants seeing, unless you’re my mom’s dad, who demanded and received a refund for the movie. It may not require immediate repeat viewing, but I could see myself going back to the well in ten or 20 years.
Finally, I don’t think this movie is as good as some have ranted and I also don’t think it is as bad as my grandfather thought it was. For me it exists in a happy medium of comparative goodness. But then again, maybe I just think that because I’m dreaming and this movie is a product of my limited subconsciouness.

Twilight Saga: Threeway Anyone???

Normally I wait to devour the twilight offerings on DVD, when I can mock them in the company of my friend Alex. For the third installment of the Twilight series I dived into the pandemonium and saw the movie in theaters a week after it had been released.
(Editor's Note: There were no more than 14 people in the theater.)What ensued was a dark romp filled with lust, laughs and a leery lover jealous of the romantic intentions of a horny werewolf. Did any of that make sense? No. Well, you can only imagine my confusion while watching this runaway freight train of a movie.
ECLIPSE picks up after the crescendo of the previous film, with Bella (Kristen Stewart) set on becoming a vampire and Ed (Cedric Diggory) reluctantly promising to accede to her wishes. He doesn't want her to give up her soul, while she just wants to be with him forever. Ultimately, Ed acknowledges that he is being totally selfish by promising to change Bella, but he does draw a line at premarital sex.
The movie continues the abstinence only message it has been espousing since its onset, with only a few stolen kisses to tide over the horny teens. In this film Bella wants more than the soulful (or soul-less) connection she shares with Ed, as she now desires her pale pasty skin against hers. Alas, Edward wants to wait for marriage, in a throwback to his past. But don't be fooled by this grasp of the past, since it is really just a diversion away from the fact that Ed is as straight as that awkward pompadour he puts together every morning.
Here in lies the real tension of the movie. Bella isn't choosing between Jake (Taylor "Lats"autner) or Ed. Ed is debating between living the closeted lifestyle vampires in his world approve of (BELLA) or coming out and bumping uglies with Jake. I mean c'mon, he wasn't mad at Jake in the tent, he was jealous of Bella!!! All of this is a product of the conservative vampire culture, which at this point needs to exit the closet. Alice should announce her love of Bella and Jasper should go back to molesting the newborns. This can't be just me, right?
Anyway, the star of this movie is Charlie. Last time it was Jake's abs, but that has become a joke the movie even comments on as it breaks the fourth wall with some self-referential humor. So yeah, Charlie is awesome as the "Dad" in the movie. Before this film he was just the guy who paid rent, but now I really connected with him. His hatred for Ed matched my hatred and i almost teared up when he stood during Bella's graduation (Seriously. And can you believe her mom didn't make the trip. Bitch?). He even had hilarious lines about how he liked Alice, but the best was when he discovered Bella was still a virgin and yielded a bit of like for Ed. In this vein of humor, though, I wish Larry Miller (the dad from 10 Things I hate About You) had been tapped for the part. "Bella, you can't date until Edward starts to age or Jacob can keep a shirt on for ten minutes."
But anyway, I thought Bryce Dallas Howard was wasted in this movie. She would have been totally creepy as Dakota Fanning's part, especially since she already documented her hood wearing skills in THE VILLAGE. Also, where the frak was Michael Sheen??? Maybe he's not in this book, but just use him for the Oscar Buzz he brings every role.
For a movie that moved pretty fast it felt like nothing really happened. Bella finally addressed her feelings, which is that she wants to have her cake and eat some other guy's cake too. Jake pronounced his undying (and post-mortem) love. And Bella is destined to become a vampire.
There was some posturing by the bad vampire elites who seem like coniving bastards. For the most part nothing really happened. There were newborns, who embody the awfulness of the Terribly Twos, and required vampires and werewolves to team up.
Oh yeah, we got some really cheesy vampire back stories too. This reminded me that i love the dad vampire, if solely because of his role as the jock in CAN"T HARDLY WAIT.
I believe that is called unintentional comedy.
Anne Kendrick also gave us a kick ass graduation speech that made me yearn for a second attempt at my own. Hers also had some sort of tie in with the movie, but that went right over my head.
Ultimately this is a terrible movie. It had no redeeming qualities, except for the possible exception of vampires teaming up with werewolves in a touching bit of chemistry. If this was just some random movie it would be scoffed at, tweens would think Cedric Diggory was odd looking, concerned parents would buy Lautner some shirts and Dr. Drew would try to help out Kristen Stewart with all her damn anxiety.
(Editor's Note: Dave probably should have stopped here, but he felt it was necessary to draw the ire of the twilight nut cases. Oh no, now i've gone and insulted them. Curse the day he was born.)
Anyone who says this is a good movie, and i'm talking to you nutcases who saw this movie more than once or on opening weekend, you are completely delusional. This festering pile of crap appeals to so many people because it appeals to the lowest common denomination, which is code for the people who voted for Lee on AMERICAN IDOL. Yeah, a Crystal fan watches TRUE BLOOD, which is a vampire program that critics acknowlege as worthy of a time committment.
THe writing in Eclipse has the steady pitter patter of talented people banging their heads against a wall. The teen angst plays out with all the nuance of a two dollar hooker courting her next client. The story develops with the surprise that one has after catching an STD from the afformentioned hooker.
IT STINKSS!!! THIS WHOLE SERIES STINKSS!!!!
With all that being said, I totally understand why people get excited for these movie and turn out in droves with the wild devotion of Lee fans. I know where this comes from, as I'm a fan of the Harry Potter movies. And by fan, I mean, the movies suck but i love seeing them in theaters. Now i just want you crazy people to make the same admission.

Toys for all ages

I have never drank the Pixar kool-aid. I like their movies that I have scene, but for the most part they're just cute fun that seems to try too hard for depth. It is like they keep trying to dive off the high beam, even though the water is really shallow. I don't crack my head open in the end, yet I do feel that their goal is a flop. This is not the case with Toy Story 3.
I don't want to wax poetically about a movie that already has enough nostalgia for 5 sequels, but i will say that this movie really tugged at my heartstrings. It got me in touch with feelings of loss, growth and life that normally remain dormant during your typical animated film.
Additionally, the movie is hilarious. Michael Keaton voices the metrosexual Ken doll, who absolutely steals every scene he is in.
THe amazing reality about Toy Story 3 is how it creates a product that is sweet, but not too sweet. It adds just the right ingredients, particularly in terms of the bitter resentment embodied by Lotso, the unquantifiable love of Andy and two potato heads (HA!).
Toy Story 3 is a must see, especially if you've grown up with the series the same way I have. THe first movie came out when i was eight, and since then I've gone to Pizza Planet in Disney, owned a Buzzlight year doll and returned to my toys in the same fleeting grasp of the past that Andy performs before leaving college.
You can mark this movie down as an early contender for the Best Picture Oscar (seriously). It will undoubtedly be one of the ten nominees, and so far is the front runner amongst a host of weak competitors.
Finally, make sure you stay to the very end and catch the dance number between Buzz and the cow girl.

Woodstock takes me over

As I prepare to attend the jam musical festival Gathering of the vibes, in my capacity as an ice cream salesman, I was mentally preparing myself to buckle down and push product. By product I mean ice cream, and ice cream only, as all other goods should be moved by the ganja goodies lady or the some other vendor.
But anyway, I explain to you my mindset in order to help you understand my business oriented mind, and how that reflects my very non-hippyish mindset. Better yet, I'm a democrat who is embarrassed by half the people who call themselves democrats. Does that help? You want me to shut up and get to the point? ok. Here it is...
After watching Ang Lee's TAKING WOODSTOCK I find myself in a very groovy mood. The movie, which is about thirty minutes too long, is not fine art. In fact, the documentary about the concert is probably a more worthwhile endeavor if you're going to devote a lot of time.
The problem with Lee's movie is that he allows it to lose focus too often. It is supposed to revolve around how Elliot Teichberg (the impressive DEmetri Martin) experiences this part of his life, but we're given flashes and not a full picture. By cramming the movie full of colorful characters and a myriad of moments we fail to understand what really transpired for Elliot. The result is slightly unsatisfying as a movie experience, but as an experience it is fulfilling.
By an experience I'm referring to the mood the film captures. In a cheesy scene with a cop, we sum up how this concert overwhelmed the cop the same way the movie overwhelms the viewer. I found myself swept away in the flower power, peace love and happiness and free love.
Maybe I was just won over by the colorful characters, portrayed by Eugene Levy, Emile Hirsch, Jonathan Groff and Liev Schrieber. They command each scene in a slightly gimmicky way, and that's fine with me. They help embody the half a million people who went upstate for this concert, as it would be impossible to create personalities for everyone.
ANother great way the movie dives into the event is with the multi view scenes that demonstrate the wide scope. This device is utilized by the documentary to similar effect.
I was not keen on some of exposition that built up to the culmination of the movie, with Elliot moving on from his parents. Could have done without the mud diving scene, which was a reality of the concert, but merely served as a failed moment of levity and didn't carry me away with anywhere near the same force as a conversation with Schreiber's crossdressing vet.
Additionally, the threeway was a pointless endeavor and the whole drug trip in general was a waste of time. THe college actors should have all been shot too, or at least not given any air time.
Yet for all the failings of this movie, it still captured my sense of whimsy. I now want to experience vibes in a go with the flow style that runs completely contrary to my personality. So i guess if a movie could do that, it can't be all bad.
I'd recommend checking out the Woodstock documentary, and then taking on the movie over two nights.