Friday, May 28, 2010

And the Celebrity Apprentice is...

Occasionally a show will catch lightning in a bottle, as all the right ingredients come together to form something fantastic. Maybe it's a current event that alters relevancy, a lucky casting decision or just a good idea and a show elevates its game to a new level.
Season 3 of CELEBRITY APPRENTICE captured a little bit of all those elements this seasons, with some relevant events outside the show (Brett's brain hemorrhage), great contestants (Rod B, Brett Michaels, WWE chick, Curtis and Cyndi Lauper) and creative competitions (designing and marketing a snapple flavor or running a diner).
In the end, it was Brett Michaels who was "hired" by The Donald. Michaels was a creative spark all season, whose leadership style was characterized by a need for a strong #2 in the wake of his erratic style. Ultimately, the win wasn't based on his record as a leader, as Mrs. Rodney Pete (a connection i didn't make until after he appeared on the show) was a much better leader. That rationale behind Brett's win was the sentimental vote, and to a lesser extent the fact that Holly was really unlikeable.
To Holly's credit, though, she was on the show to raise money and she did. WHen it was all said and done, she had raised over half a million dollars for her charity. I doubt her acting career will pick up or she'll get to be on next season, but i have a feeling she doesn't really care about any of that.
The only thing i can be entirely sure of is that Brett Michaels has definitely secured himself another season of ROCK OF LOVE or some other reality show. This guy is fantastic, and his daughter is charming as hell. I would watch him play house with his "borderline-diabetic" daughter. (Sorry, that phrase just makes me laugh.)
What made this season a success for me was the rapport of the character. While there was some tension surrounding Lauper, it was all a far cry from the "Whore Pit Viper" moment of last season. For the most part there was a lot of good spirited camaraderie that was fun to watch. It was fun because most of these characters were likable. Even scumbag Rod Blagojevich was disarmingly charming as the bumbling moron. (Illinois needs a literacy test for candidates.)
The worst part for me is the boardroom scenes. I can't stand Donald Trump's character and I think the celebrities do a poor job articulating their arguments. It's all so random anyway that I don't care what happens in the boardroom, as it basically rests on the whims of show producers who want to ensure a good product.
After heaping all this praise on the show, I want to make it clear that I never intend to watch the crap The Donald puts out. Somehow i get pulled in, and i can't quit him (I'm a regular brokeback mountain cowboy). Haven't decided if i'll watch the next reinvention of the Apprentice, which will be giving people hit hard by the economy a chance to appear on a fourth-rate network.

Guest Post: GLEE

(Editor's Note: THis was first published as a comment to one of Dave's articles. It is a crime when the comment is better than the actual post, so we're hoping to correct that injustice by highlighting the work of Steve . We think people will like this, and hopefully we can start grooming Dave's replacement. At the very least, maybe they'll figure out how to arrange a GLEE podcast and sing-a-long. P.s. The first picture is Steve)

I have a weekly date with a group of friends. We started watching GLEE in the fall, and it used to be fun. GLEE is not normally a show I would watch, but everyone else was into it and the group dynamic was fun. It helped that there was a group setting to make fun of the utterly ridiculous things that happened. The characters were fine, the story was ok, but it was a fun experience.


Lately though, the story has gotten more out there. The show is a lot more preachy, and is much less fun to watch. I probably would have stopped watching it if not for the group.

Unlike most people, I'm not blown away by the music. Some songs are really good (Dream On was fantastic) but most of the others are just ok.

Miscellaneous points:
-I was going to rant about Kurt and Finn, but you beat me to it. My thoughts exactly. I used to like Kurt but now I can't stand him.
-My favorite characters (in order): Other Asian, Brittany, Sue, Puck, Santana. Oh, and Neil Patrick Harris.
-No Sue this episode. I was disappointed.
-When you find yourself rooting for the jocks against the protagonists, it's not a good sign for the show.

Finally, is Rachel hot? I change my mind from "super attractive" to "not good looking at all" at least ten times an episode. No exaggeration.

(I vote SUPER HOT)

Thursday, May 27, 2010

This Old HOUSE

I am an embarrassed HOUSE fan. Embarrassed because the show stands for many of the things I hate. It is episodic in nature, no matter how many running threads there might be, none of the characters change. The show is extremely formulaic, to the point where I'm surprised why the doctors even try to diagnosis before the fifty minute mark, as everything prior will be pointless.
What I love is the main character, Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie). Specifically, I love his snarky comments. Sure, it's predictable and riddled with too many pop culture references that don't really work, but I love it. He cuts so close to the bone, much like the amputation he performed in the finale. (Except he doesn't accidentally kill anyone with an insult, as opposed to his underground surgeries.)
The finale gave us a real romance between Cuddy (Lisa Eddlestein, probably spelled wrong) and House. We got a taste of it last season in a hallucination, so it seemed kind of obvious that the show would deliver the real thing this season. The actual payoff made no sense, as it stemmed from HOUSE insisting a patient let go. Apparently Cuddy had reserved feelings for him all along, but she was just waiting on him to show he was ready or something. Personally, I think it was all pretty ridiculous, and i guess it makes me hypocritical for accepting all the other ridiculousness.
Oh yeah, and 13 (Hottie Olivia Wilde) is leaving the show for a bit next season. I'm assuming she is either planning on making a movie or is pregnant.
My money is on a movie in the fall, as she seems poised to be entering Megan Fox hotness territory and she'll want to strike while the iron is hot (and she is too).
It's all pretty pointless, though, as the show itself and its characters won't change. Something always happens that reverts the characters back to their core principles, so that they never really change. We'll get maybe 10 episodes of HUDDY, but something will happen and he'll enter a dark spiral that sees him return to his old habits. While that's happening, Wilson will end up single, Foreman will be huffy, the short guy will cheat and 13 will get a citation for smoking indoors (because she's so hot!).
What i'd like to see is the next season be the last. Just blow everything up and let HUDDY work. Maybe let Wilson get cancer. Castration for short baldie. Kill off 13 after her and Chase begin dating. As for Foreman, well he makes LOVE AND BASKETBALL 2 and realizes he got really fat. In an attempt to lose the weight he dies of a heart attack that House saw coming, but felt compelled not to warn him about.

This Adaptation was JUSTIFIED



After the premier of JUSTIFIED i found myself cautiously optimistic about the future of this Elmore Leonard adaptation. It had all the ingredients for success, but I was worried about the downfalls of episodic television. This viewing experience isn't nearly as fulfilling as a serialized drama with a continuous thread. Luckily, my worries appear to have been avoided.
The success of JUSTIFIED revolves around the combination of fun week-to-week adventures and an evolving plot line that allows characters to grow. The unison of these two elements differentiates the show from Law and Order and LOST, which represent the two extremes of this equation.
JUSTIFIED doesn't get bogged down in each episode's crime, which can be light and fluffy or heavy and dangerous. What makes this style palatable in this instance, though, is that it all swallows relatively easy and doesn't feel like you're being force fed implausibilities. Sure, the crimes are easy to solve and play out in convenient manners, but that's just a testament to how great the U.S. Marshalls are. I mean c'mon, we've all seen the FUGITIVE. (Ok, so i'm an apologist for Timothy Olyphant.)
Speaking of Tim, he has made the role of Raylan Givens into one of the best characters on television. In the aftermath of this show, he has the potential to be remembered more for this character than "Montana" on DEADWOOD.
Yet, while I love every moment with our hero, I'm particularly smitten with Joelle Carter's character, Ava Crowder. While 85% of my infatuation may revolve around her physical traits, her drawl and demeanor separate her from the pack.
The most compelling person to watch on JUSTIFIED right now is Walton Goggins as Boyd Crowder. He was recently released from prison, and has taken over the role of preacher to the persons prone to crime. His over the top performance is so much fun to watch, and was aptly described by the character's cousin, who couldn't tell if the religious conversion was bullshit or real. (That's a good thing. I think)
Ultimately, it is the supporting characters who keep the show grounded and maintain my interest. The converse is true about a show like DEXTER, where the performance of Michael Hall is basically the only reason to turn in. DEXTER ends up feeling so hollow because the other actors can't keep up with Hall's lead, whereas the supporting players on JUSTIFIED are valuable assets. You get the conflicted ex-wife, the hilarious boss, evil patriarch and a new bad guy guest star each week.
JUSTIFIED represents the best of writing and acting, which work in conjunction to elevate each other's game.
I would recommend this show for anyone not involved and looking for something to replace LOST, 24 or Law and Order.
If you already watch the show, what do you think? Is my praise JUSTIFIED?

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Gaga for Glee

In last night's Lady Gaga centric episode of GLEE, I took away three things.
1. Idina Menzel was perfectly cast to play Lea Michele's mom. They look exactly the same and I could really believe that Menzel was a hardened version of what Michele's Rachel could become. As for how quickly the show exposed this truth and how equally fast it did away with this revelation, I was not as impressed. It all seemed very unbelievable in the way Rachel just accepts this is her mom and how willing she is to have this woman abandon her life. Rachel is still in her formative years and would want a mom around!!!!
2. Absolutely loved the BAD ROMANCE video. The costumes were amazing, with my favorite being Brit's Face Lobster. THe only downfall was the fact that the choreography was a poor tribute to the actual video.
The vocals by Santana were my favorite part, as she reaffirmed her part as one of my favorite characters.
3. Ok, here's my rant: I HATED THE STUFF WITH KURT AND FINN. It's one thing to be tolerant of someone's lifestyle, which Finn is, but it's another thing to demand someone embraces that lifestyle as their own. I would argue that Finn moving into Kurt's house made him the oppressed minority since it was basically Kurt's way or the highway.
Kurt's dad's outrage was completely unwarranted. He goes on this tolerance rant, while failing to recognize that Finn was basically getting sexually harassed. Finn wasn't uncomfortable being naked in front of a gay guy. Finn was uncomfortable being naked around a gay guy WHO HAD A CRUSH ON HIM!!!! It's homophobic to assume a gay guy wants to jump you, but Finn wasn't reacting to nothing.
The show went out of it's way to justify Kurt's behavior, and it was wrong. He can dress however he want and live however he wants. People need to respect his decisions, but they don't have to accept or respect the kind of behavior Finn was forced to tolerate.
Additionally, the message at the end of the episode was totally misguided. We're all freaks???? Kurt isn't a freak because he's gay. Kurt's strange because of what he wears, but that doesn't mean the glee members need to isolate themselves from society in their merry band of misfits.
I'm all for educating America (I'm looking at you "flyover state"), but don't jam it down our throats the way Kurt did.

Monday, May 24, 2010

This is The End

(Editor's Note: A retrospective about LOST will be coming soon. For now, try to gnaw on the unrefined meat of Dave's immediate reflections. For all non-LOST fans, don't worry, Dave will be writing about other shows soon. For non-Dave fans, there are other blogs to read and plenty of porn on the internet.)

I am satisfied with the finale of LOST, and the show as a whole. In terms of the finale specifically, it was an amazing ride that kept me captivated and provided a resolution true to the style of LOST. That may not mean we were given the most complete set of answers, but as i have accepted, that's not the way LOST does things.
In the midst of Christian Shepard explaining the sideways world to Jack my mind was working a mile a minute as I tried to process what he was saying. On it's face, it felt very similar to a scene in the seventh Harry Potter book. Harry's mystical talk and walk with dead Dumbledore offered the same sort of crossing over/limbo scene that the sideways world represented. In Harry's case the brief respite was just a momentary stop back on his previous path, whereas in the case of LOST it was a chance for the castaways to grow/move on/let go. (I'll try to parse this out more in the future.)
RIght now I'm dealing with the revelation that the voices people hear on the island are people trapped in the sideways world. THose people are unable to move on (or something), in much the same way the castaways hold onto the sideways reality until they're ready to move on.
Like i said, though, more mythology talk to come.
For now, let's deal with the episode itself, which was very funny. The show was packed with jokes, but also expressed a level of self-awareness that allowed itself to crack a ton of jokes. My favorite involved Man in Locke's (MiL) realization that Jack was chosen as a successor for Jacob. Fans expected this move, and when MiL refers to it as the predictable choice I burst out laughing.
The finale did a great job with making the sideways world count. It may have tugged a little too hard on our heart strings and tasted a little too sweet from all the sappiness, but it was a good payoff. We were reminded of friendships (Hugo and Sayid, Hugo and Charlie, Hugo and his hummer), love (Juliet and James) and the dynamic of the Man of Faith versus (together with) the Man of Science. I think the best measure of the effectiveness of the sideways stories were their ability to keep me whimpering throughout the episode.
Finally, the events on the island were rolled out very nicely in a fashion grounded in 6 years of tromping around the island with no idea what's going on. I loved the fight scenes, the twists, the sight of Vincent, Rose, Bernard, guns, cliff diving, and Lapidus calling Richard, "Ricky."
Maybe some people feel unfulfilled by the whole experience in the wake of this finale. They think the show never offered an adequate return on their investment. I'll accept that some people can feel this way, but only in terms of them wishing a certain character lived or hoping a plot point unfolded some other way (More Widmore or Kate succumbing to the bullet wound infection.)
What I won't accept, nay, what I won't stand for, is people who argue it was all meaningless and they wasted their time. (Editors' Note: Will someone please tell this moron to calm down!?!? It's a tv show! It's as real as those stupid sideway stories!)
My only gripe for now is the lack of Penny and Desmond canoodling in the finale.
But like i said, hopefully I'll have more about the finale and the series tomorrow after I rewatch the show and take notes.
And oh yeah, GLK, this is for you, the island wasn't purgatory! The castaways basically created their own version of purgatory.
Anybody else have immediate reactions? Did it leave a bad taste in your mouth like a rotten Apollo Bar or was it delicious like fish you catch with Jin???

Thursday, May 20, 2010

LOST: What We Watched For

This summary is not available. Please click here to view the post.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Don't Miss THE EVENT

Last week i put up a post labeling Betty White's appearance on SNL as "Event TV." Apparently I didn't know what I was talking about, because NBC has redefined "Event TV" with their lineup for this fall. (I'll be breaking down the schedule at a later date. Long story short, though, CHUCK was renewed.)
On Monday's after CHUCK, NBC will air a new serialized drama called THE EVENT. It stars Blair Underwood as the unlucky black President in a long tradition of black Presidents who have overseen national disasters and repeated terrorist attacks. The other male lead appears to be Joshua Ritter, who I last saw on the underrated THE CLASS.
The show, which fills a hole left by HEROES, appears to be aimed at filling the gap left by HEROES, 24 and LOST. It's a big gamble for NBC, but it's nice to see them taking a stab at something with such a high ceiling. Granted, this comes at a time when FLASHFORWARD is being canceled and sprawling dramas have become an endangered species unless they're a soap opera on ABC.
I'm optimistic about this show, which is very flashy and eye catching. Whether there is enough substance to build an actual show around is debatable. I do hope the show learns from the example of HEROES, and doesn't just let its story wander aimlessly.
Watch the awesome trailer and tell me what you think.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Given Some Answers, But Still LOST

In last week’s episode of LOST we got (90% of) our answers regarding the mythology of the show. Disagree? Maybe you do, and maybe there’s some validity to your discontent. Few points were explicitly spelled out for us and major questions were left with some ambiguity. (Like what is the smoke monster?)
But we were provided the gist of the castaways’ predicament. We know Jacob’s back story (Mama’s boy). We know the main conflict (Smoke monster versus Jacob). We know why the castaways were brought to the island (For a scripted drama that would capitalize on the success of CASTAWAY and SURVIVOR. Oh, and something about the good of mankind….)
The showrunners for LOST, Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse, said that answers will not be meted out in a manner that satisfies follower of the shows with a checklist of questions. To me that means we’ll get an idea of the big picture, but some of the finer points will be left up to debate. If this surprises or angers any viewers of LOST, I would say that it is unreasonable to expect a complete understanding of a magical world. We don’t ask why Superman gets powers from the yellow sun, but we accept it as fact. Similarly, we should just accept the power of the “light” on the Island, and not demand to know its molecular structure. Basically, get over it.
The recent episode of LOST, Across the Sea, basically lets us know that further into the wormhole aren’t more answers, but more questions. We’ll get the correct premise to view the show under, something we’ve been denied before since we had a limited view. This theory was embodied by the original crazy island mom’s (MOTHER) disclosure to Jacob and Man in Black’s (MiB) real mother, Claudia, that: ““Every question I answer will simply lead to another question.” We should have realized all this when we had the slew of issues raised by The Hatch. Eventually you need to just blow it all up, which is basically what’s about to happen on the island anyway…
I’m more intrigued by simple questions; like why doesn’t anyone arrive safely on the island? People are always having their planes crashed and ships wrecked. What’s the deal with that? (Also, why do they call it ovaltine? It should be called roundtine.)
One of the major problems in getting any answers from LOST is that we can rarely trust what we’re hearing. We always need to consider who is speaking, who they’re speaking to and what motives they might have. I think the only conversations we’ve ever heard that can be accepted on face value have occurred between Jacob and MiB. They’re both operating with the same basic understanding of the island and they both understand each other’s motives. The same cannot be said of their MOTHER, who provides us with the earliest understanding of the island.
We learn from MOTHER, played excellently by Allison Janney as the doting mother perfect for a PSYCHO prequel, that she came to the island on accident. If we assume this is true, then we’re left to wonder if she was recruited to protect the “light” she later describes to her adopted boys. I think she was brought to the island, and I think her extended stay is what caused her eclectic personality.
I do think it is clear that MOTHER yearned for company, which is why she saw the new born babies as untainted companions she could mold into her successor. That’s why I think she always intended on killing Claudia.
In the aftermath of that killing I was struck by the contrast of the blankets for the two babies, Jacob and Baby in Black. The show goes out of the way to highlight the difference in colors between these two characters, as if there was a stark difference in what they represent. I believe this is a flawed dichotomy, since they don’t really offer balanced alternatives. It’s not black and white, but rather shades of grey with overlap between the two characters. (I think Lapidus represents the grey. He shall live on! This is all part of my Lapidus=Gandalf theory.)
I think the show tried to emphasize the definitiveness of this differentiation with the attempted submarine explosion. Prior to that incident there was some debate about the motives of Man in Locke (MiL), and whether he was the bad guy we thought he was. Early in this season I thought we might see a switcheroo, with Jacob being revealed to be less good than we originally thought and more credit lent to MiL’s cause. This was essentially eradicated with the submarine explosion, but I still reject the show’s characterization of good and evil as it is embodied by Jacob and MiB/MiL/Smoke Monster.
The actual battle, though, isn’t between MiB and Jacob. The conflict is Jacob’s attempt to contain the smoke monster, which has taken the shape of MiB/MiL. So then you have to wonder, what exactly is the smoke monster??
I think the smoke monster is death. MOTHER said that the “light” contained “Life, death, rebirth. It’s the source, the heart of the island.” What death means is debatable, but to me it embodies evil, which is where I think we see our battle between good and evil, as Jacob is good (at least according to MOTHER).
So what comes out of the cave thing is death. That’s what wants to escape. It’s what Jacob called “hell” in the Ab Aeterno episode. He also tells Richard that it is a “darkness,” contained by the island. Jacob suggests that if it gets off the island it would spread and cause death.
I think we see the first signs of the smoke monster (Smokey) trying to escape in the early actions of Boy in Black (BiB). The first time it pops up is when Jacob asks how he knows how to play the game he finds, and says “I just know.” You see this trend of inherent knowledge more meaningfully in BiB’s belief that there is more off the island than just the island. He doesn’t really have any reason to believe this, since MOTHER has told him that nothing exists beyond the island, which is why I think it was SMOKEY who ingrained the knowledge in BiB. Although it’s possible that his reluctance to accept MOTHER’s understanding of the world stems from the fact that he understands how to lie, and therefore realizes that people could be lying to him. The mere fact that he assumes MOTHER would deny him the game should lead him to believe that there might be other things she would be denying or hiding from him (other people, secrets of the island and who their real mother is).
Regarding the game, it would make sense that MOTHER would claim to have provided the game for BiB and Jacob, as any other explanation would refute the reality she has crafted for them.
The reality she designs for Jacob and BiB is parsed out throughout the episode. It begins with her telling her adopted children that “dead” is “not something (they) will ever have to worry about.” At the time she says this, though, I doubt the validity of her statement. It’s not until she finally gives Jacob the taste of the wine that he given everlasting life and probably a commitment to the island/“light.”

That scene with the wine seemed akin to the last supper, where Jesus has everyone drink from the cup of everlasting life. In that instance the disciples basically bond with Jesus through the experience of drinking his “blood,” which is basically repeated by MOTHER claiming that the experience makes her and Jacob “the same.” It is a little strange that Richard didn’t receive the same warning from Jacob when he drank the sacramental wine. Most likely I think the differentiation stems from the fact that Richard was merely recruited into Jacob’s army, and was not on pace to become the island’s protector. To that end, I wonder how the next protector will live forever or share any sense of communion with Jacob. (Additionally, how will they know what to protect? Did they get to see the most recent episode?)
But back to the reality crafted by MOTHER, which includes the declaration that Jacob and BiB can’t hurt each other. I sort of just trust that statement in much the same way as Jacob and MiB accept it. I think the extension of that “rule” to Jacob’s recruits is a consequence of Jacob crafting his own game. This is based on BiB telling Jacob that “One day, you can make up your own game and everyone will have to follow your rules.” And that’s what we’re witnessing now, Jacob’s little game, but with dire consequences.
Jacob’s little game also includes a test of something his MOTHER tells him and BiB. Upon the revelation that there are other people on the island, she tells her adopted children that “They come, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt and it always ends the same.” This idea is echoed by MiB during the season five finale, which Jacob cryptically responds to with “It only ends once. Everything that happens before that is just progress.” I have no idea what it means, but I think we do know that almost everyone who comes to the island is just a pawn in Jacob’s attempt to disprove his MOTHER’s/MiB’s theory about humans. (The people on Oceanic are an exception to this game.)
(Editor’s Note: At this point, we’re going to dramatically edit this rambling rant that Dave has put together. Now you’ll be able to conclude David is an idiot much faster, but in bullet point fashion!)
What are they protecting????
o They’re protecting the “light.” It’s basically the soul of the world. If you want more than that then you’re never going to be satisfied. It’s magical, and if it goes away everyone dies. Happy?
o When MOTHER says people are trying to harness it, she is basically predicting the Dharma initiative people and the current efforts of Widmore’s crew.
o I think the upcoming episode, entitled “What They Died For,” will explain the struggle over this “light.”
o Beyond keeping the “light” alive, Jacob is also tasked with keeping “death” from escaping.
Not everyone is a candidate.
o Some people will come to the island by accident. Not everyone is a candidate, as represented by Jacob’s number cave and the lighthouse. The people who come to the island “don’t belong here,” according to MOTHER. These people that aren’t potential recruits, but part of the game testing MOTHER’s hypothesis about men.
MOTHER’s hypothesis
o He says she kept Jacob and BiB away from other people so that they would “stay good.” This seems to indicate that people aren’t inherently bad, but that they are corruptible, which suggests the potential is there. I think Sayid represents this struggle, as he is prone to evil acts when other people are around him and believes he can be good when he’s alone.
o So MiB agrees with MOTHER’s characterization of men, but views them as a means to an end. Ok, I understand that, but why does Smokey kill everyone?

Can the Boy in Black see dead people or was that Smokey?
o I do think that BiB was driven by Smokey in his knowledge about the island and his drive to see the “light.” Yet I’m hesitant to accept that Smokey appeared to BiB as his dead mother to join the men on the island. It would make sense if we knew for sure that Smokey could leave the cave, but I want to hedge my bet. That’s basically why I’m open to the idea that BiB can see dead people, including the fact that he’s labeled as “special.” It would make sense that Claudia is a dead soul that is trapped on the island, as her work was cut short by her premature death.
The wussification of Jacob.
o Jacob did not come across in a great light during this episode. My least favorite moment came when he decided to stay with MOTHER, even after she revealed that she’d killed their real mother and he had been presented by BiB with a chance to escape her control. He just gives in to an authority figure in a very unflattering manner. This insistence on trust is later manifested in his emphasis on people blindly following his commands (think Ben).
So that’s basically everything from last week’s episode. Jacob was a mama’s boy who grew into his role as container of evil and protector of the light. Also, our understanding of the skeletons as Adam and Eve is a little creepy considering they were sort of mother and son.
(Editor’s Note: Even his conclusion is too long. Bring on the bullet points!)
• Based on her hair net, MOTHER was a lunch lady off the island.
• We still don’t know who built the lighthouse.
• What will Desmond’s final duty be? (see next bullet)
• Now that we have a conclusion to the island’s mythology, we’ll see how our castaways finally meld with this larger challenge. I think Jack will accept his role as Jacob, Kate will unfortunately survive, Sawyer will die tragically, Hurley will live to let heart disease kill him and the Man in Locke will be crushed by Desmond. How? Well Desmond will harness the good “light” and cancel out the death that Smokey/MiL represent. They’ll both die. How tragic. I’m crying already.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Like Mother Like Crazy Person

(Editor’s Note: As a testament to how great this episode was, Dave was unable to continue his live blog throughout the episode as a result of its total awesomeness. He was too selfish to pause it and watch it for the ninety minutes it normally takes him. Instead, he watched the episode straight through and “enjoyed” it. Luckily, his writing sucks, so your loss is really a plus for you. Alas, he’ll be coming at you with a real recap after he watches it again. For now, though, please enjoy the pathetic dribble he came up with.)
This episode is such a big event I’ve brought in extra help to break it down. Joining me tonight is Dharmaville resident, Alex Ventre. Let’s make this happen…
• Why all the wood in the water? I thought submarines were made of iron…
• I like how they’re doing a crossover with Lord of the Rings. Allison Janey is speaking elfish, right? Calling it right now, she will raise Claudia’s kid. She’s like the reverse Russo.
• Alex: “Her stomach is still big.” Dave: “I think there’s another kid coming.”
• Love the contrasting blankets. Definitely a good sign for the unnamed baby. Who knew he really was the Baby in Black at one point? To be honest, it’s more of a dark earth tone, suggesting a gradual transition toward evil. Scratch that, he’s obviously evil as a kid, as hammered home by the color differentiation. I do love that they got a young Zak Effron to play the Boy in Black.
• Alex: “I’m pumped to find out his name.” Dave: “Don’t think that’s going to happen.”
• It’s nice to see that hunting boar has always been the national pastime of the island.
• So the light is what Widmore is searching for... That and a cure to male baldness.
• I don’t think we’re going to learn anything about the dharma initiative in this episode.
• Boy in Black: If you’re my mom, then what’s my name?!?!?!
• Jacob: “Mother said-” Alex: “Sounds like Al Borland (from Home Improvement).”
And that’s all I had. I just enjoyed the show. But don’t worry, I’m going to rewatch the episode and deliver a recap worthy of the price you pay for this…

And Down Go The Kwons...

(Editor's Note: This is the promised second part of "THE CANDIDATE" recap. It's not great. IT's not good. Masochists will love this.)
"We'll never be apart again." - Jin
Ok, so Jin was depressingly on the mark with his statement upon reuniting with Sun, as their reunion was cut short by the mischievous doings of Man in Locke (MiL).
My first reaction was that Jin should have swam away. He had a responsibility to his daughter, which he couldn't fulfill if he went down with his wife. Apparently other viewers got riled up about his decision, much more than I did, but the show's exec producers defended their decision on the basis that it was a split second decision and he probably wasn't seeing the whole picture.
In retrospect I understand his decision and can't argue with his choice to live up to his promise.
This was the reunion I'd been doubting since Jin was captured by Widmore's crew. I really thought it would be a "better to have loved and lost, then never to have loved at all" sorta thing. I should have realized that we had a variation of that with Sawyer and Juliet, who actually did die.
Ultimately, I'm satisfied with the end to the Kwons. My co-worker George isn't nearly as content with the result, which he characterizes as a poor payoff after investing so many seasons waiting for their reunion. He thinks that it doesn't matter anyway, as they'll get to live their lives together in the sideways world. He doesn't think the island reality is meaningful, and that ultimately it will be revealed to be a distraction akin to purgatory. (I think he has things backwards, but I'll get to that later.)
The main disappointment in the conclusion of the island story of the Kwons was the fact it didn't mean that much to me. Sure, it hit at my emotional core a little, peaking when Jin spoke to Sun in Korean. But it wasn't nearly as gut wrenching as Juliet's demise in the end of season 5 (the opening of season 6 never happened), which still tugs at my heart strings during the eighth viewing.
I think my steely reserve stemmed from my general willingness to part with these two characters. When I honestly remember the history of the Kwons I'm reminded of all the times i found them insufferable, both together and as individuals.
Jin may have evolved into a very likable character with comedic delivery and heroic tendencies, but there was a time when I thought he was annoying and unwatchable. Apparently something was lost in translation back then, because he eventually shed the awful perception i had of him. I remained pretty indifferent towards Sun, who never really got enough screen time to fall into my good graces. She was just there, maybe practicing ancient Asian medicine or secretly hitting on Michael, but never really winning me over.
Then again, maybe that's the point. They were just an ordinary couple with an extraordinary bond. Yeah, they would have been content living like Rose and Bernard, who found a nice piece of island property to shack up on. Things just didn't work out for them, though, with barriers and challenges constantly popping up.
I thought I would have more to say about the Kwons, and I really don't. Unlike Sayid, who died with purpose, they were casualties of love. Sun would have been safe if she never came back and Jin would have lived if he had swam away.
(Editor's Note: We waited for this? I could have been reviewing the pages of the erotic novel i'm editing, but instead I wasted time on this crap. If anything this killed my boner.)
So while I mourn the Kwons and Sayid, I'm left with an empty feeling about Lapidus, who was denied a definitive conclusion. Is he dead? I think he is, but this uncertainty is quite annoying.
This is a guy i'm really going to miss if he's gone. He didn't need a back story or character development, just a solid one liner and a new Hawaiian shirt each week. The man was useful in a pinch and always on the right thing of sides. He deserved better than death by a door. Unless of course, the gray man returns even more powerful as the white wizard! (Was that Lord of the Rings reference a stretch???)
As for the final direction of the show, I think tonight's episode will give us more context about the island and hopefully set the stage for the final 3.5 hours. I think we'll learn more about the "rules" of the game, and what the game really is.
On tonight's episode Allison Janey will make an appearance, presumably as the crazy mother who ruined the Man in Black. Although i'd prefer it if she came back as her press secretary character from the West Wing, so she could just lay things out in a comprehensible manner. (Then again, you can trust a press secretary as much as you can trust the Man in Black.)
I firmly believe that the island reality is the reality of the show, and that the sideways world is either a consequence of the bomb blowing up or something that hasn't happened yet.
So excited about tonight.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Betty White: Event TV

By popular demand Betty White hosted SNL on Saturday. This all came about as the result of an online push that originated with facebook and eventually entered mainstream media. The fervor generated a lot of buzz, with word of mouth allowing the news to permeate throughout all demographics.
All of this created the phenomenon of EVENT TV. This idea is evident in LOST, certain American Idol finales, HBO programming and the collapse of Jon and Kate Plus 8 are some recent examples of events that benefited from widespread knowledge or a cult-like following.
In these instances you have something more than a HOUSE season finale, where there isn't the same devotion or general interest. It may pique the curiosity of tv viewers, and probably even win its time slot, but it doesn't rile people up or attract nonviewers.
EVENT TV brings is responsible for bringing in new viewers or inducing an asthmatic incident in regular viewers. (Think LOST fans freaking over the series finale.)

The most recent EVENT TV i can think of is the Masters, which benefited from the return of Tiger Woods. His infidelities gripped the nation, generating a lot of conversation and introducing him to people who don't watch golf, wear Nike apparel or drink Gatorade. As a result, ratings for the Masters were up as casual golf fans and non-golf fans tuned in.
This phenomenon repeated itself on Saturday, when SNL drew its highest ratings since John McCain and Tina Fey appeared in November of 2008. I'm pretty sure this wasn't a product of Rachel Dratch's return or having Jay-Z as the musical guest.
The product SNL put out was admirable, as they effectively utilized Betty White by having her say things that sounded shocking from the mouth of an 88 year old. To that end, though, i think my great aunt Madeline could have performed as admirably.
But White was given a chance to shine, cracking old jokes (she communicates with people her age, not through facebook, but with a Ouija board), playing old straight talkers and generally just smiling. She really could no wrong, as her first sighting was met with thunderous applause, which continued throughout the night.
My favorite segment featured Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph recreating an old classic, where they host a show called Bronx Beat. They're a pair of Bronx mothers who talk about their lives and usually react to an offbeat guest. Their accents are sensational and their thought progressions are uproariously surprising and funny. ()
This skit was followed closely by the last bit of the night, which revolved around a visit from a census worker. It was pure screwball comedy, with Betty White playing a reluctant participant who doesn't give any easy answers. ()
I really enjoyed the return of the female alums, who offered flashes of what we're now missing on the show. They dazzled compared to the women who are currently on the show, including Kristen Wiig. She used to be one of my favorites, but now she feels over exposed and simply repeating the same performance. When that happens i think it means it is time to move on, so you can come back years later with a fresh performance. By the end of the episode, though, i was left wondering what Anna Gasteyer has been up to all these years? (Besides playing Lindsay Lohan's mom in Mean Girls. Obviously.)
On the whole I was satisfied with the final product. I'm not sure it lived up to the hype, but I don't know what anyone really expected from Betty White. The most important thing is that I don't feel let down, which is often what happens in instances like this. (Think Spiderman 3, the Pam Anderson and Tommy Lee sex tape,and Jay Leno's Variety show)

Friday, May 7, 2010

In Emergencies: A Bomb is not for floating

(Spoiler Alert: This recap talks about the most recent episode of LOST, including the many characters that died)
Death by itself is not a powerful tool. I can watch a war movie and not blink as soldiers get mowed down while charging a beach. Context is what makes a viewer give a damn about what they’re witnessing.
For that very reason, though, I didn’t give a damn when Boone, Shannon, Libby, Anna Lucia and Arzt died on the island in LOST. In their cases I wasn’t flooded with apathy, but with joy. In those instances context ensured that I would treat their individual demises as a savory treat to enjoy. I currently think I’ll be denied the feeling of this warmth with Kate, who miraculously had a bullet wound immediately above her heart become superficial at best.
All this talk of death stems from the most recent episode of LOST, The Candidate, where we said goodbye to three (debatably four, but we’ll talk to that later) main characters.
Let’s take these deaths in the order they occurred, which means we’re starting with Sayid. In many regard the Sayid we had known on the island, the reluctant torturer, reluctant killer and reluctant human, died from the wounds he sustained in the season five finale. Since then we’ve had the Zombie Sayid experience, which slowly had been devolving to the point where he felt more like a lifeless pawn in the service of Man in Locke (MiL).
I had held out hope and a firm belief that he would find salvation in the close of this season. While he had been killing for MiL and appeared to have given up the last of his ties to humanity, he showed his true colors during his discourse with Desmond. We were supposed to believe that conversation had ended in the execution of Desmond, but it was obvious that Sayid had unilaterally granted a stay of execution. But why?
I think the answer revolves around the fact that his fellow Losties reaffirmed his ties to human society. With MiL he was just an island unto himself, where all he had to cling to was a promise that MiL couldn’t really deliver. The Losties offered him friendship and some sort of meaning, which might not have made him whole, but prompted him to make the ultimate sacrifice. (Although, I think he was probably dying on the submarine and probably could have avoided his death by throwing the bomb or something. That reminds me, did Charlie really need to die?)
The death of Sayid didn’t really hit me that hard and I was satisfied with how he was killed. It might not have been on par with Randy Quaid’s gesture in INDEPENDENCE DAY or Bruce Willis’s move in ARMAGEDDON, but it was touching.
His death embodied the way he lived. It was courageous, but underplayed. It was dramatic, but without any sense of urgency. It was selfless. I think it’s important to note how selfless his actions were, since for most of the season he had been motivated by a selfish desire. Sayid had been killing on behalf of MiL for a chance to be reunited with the love of his life, and in the process denying others that same realistic possibility. I previously wrote about how Sayid’s humanity is grounded in the presence or hope of Nadia, since in real life and the sideways reality it inspires him to be better than he is.
At this point I want to pause and briefly remember Sayid:
When we first met him we were supposed to believe he had the hots for Kate. I was glad to see that tangent quickly killed off, but still can’t forgive him for his infatuation with Shannon. I know he’s a torturer, but that was painful for me to watch. Before falling for the blonde bombshell he went on a sabbatical from the camp that led to his connection with Russo, who in my opinion gave him a second chance at life.
A constant theme with Sayid is his humanity, his connection with other people on an emotional level, which was always in doubt. Even when he seemed driven to protect his fellow Losties, it always felt like he was a man apart. He was a soldier on a mission. He may have been fighting for the good side, but his morals were driven merely by the master he currently served.
Off the island he was a man at ease with the world and himself. In Nadia he had a nurturing figure that quelled his inner demons. In a cynical sense she was just another distraction. I want to believe that for a while she balanced him and he felt genuine love and devotion, in lieu of devotion to a mission.
In the aftermath of Nadia’s death we saw the first signs of Zombie Sayid. A man without a nation, and while he tried his hand at building house and killing for hire, he was doomed to his fate one way or another. Not so much a fate of death, but a fate of destruction. In his final moments he broke that cycle and in doing so guaranteed his final ties to civilization and his friends.
(Editor’s Note: This is the end of THE CANDIDATE recap PART 1. Dave will be back to explore the death of the good Koreans, our favorite beach bum and provide context for the episode.)

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

All Candidates Must Be Amphibious

It’s been a while since I watched LOST, so I’m not sure what’s been going on lately. If I remember correctly, Gilligan and the Skipper were trying to use the Professor’s coconut phone to contact Widmore on the submarine. It was either that or Johnny Cash was battling philosopher John Locke about an inherent right to property in the sideways reality.
Ok, so I’m kidding, but it feels like a lifetime ago that I watched LOST. Tonight I’m hoping for the huge collision of events in the flashsideways world that I anticipated last week. And with that, let’s begin this live journal…
(Editor’s Note: This style has been met with mixed reviews so far, in so much as Dave likes it and his friend Casey thinks it sucks. Will others please voice their feelings about the current style of LOST posts.)
• So based on the last second of DWTS, it appears that Pamela Anderson is going home. This should mean nothing to me, except that I watch some entertainment show at the YMCA and she has appeared on it in their DWTS coverage. As a male, I appreciate seeing her, um, face pop up on this show.
• Jack loves Dural Sacs. He loves cutting them on purpose, cutting them by accident and sometimes even fixing them. Speaking of fixing, he seems pretty adamant about living up to the “Mr. Fix It” mug that David got him in the sideways world. Too bad he never got the “#1 Follower” mug.
• I love the dry humor of Zombie Sayid. He’d probably want me to suggest that Sawyer get in the cage immediately, as it’s a huge turn on for Kate. Actually, maybe she’d like wearing cuffs and sex in cages because she’s into bondage! I’d say she’s super kinky, except I assume sex with Jack is missionary style with shirts on and the lights off. In case you were wondering, with Hurley there is a large emphasis on incorporating food into the foreplay and the actual event.
• Really thought Bernard would suggest a threeway with Jack after he called him on his flirting during the flight. I like how zen Bernard has been ever since he came out of the woods in season five sporting his beard, and I’m happy it continues in the sideways world.
• Man in Locke (MiL): “You know I would ask him, except I don’t think he’s going to give me a straight answer.” Would it be too soon into this dynamic to assume MiL and Sayid could make a hilarious interracial buddy cop movie? Maybe team up with Ford and Miles?
• MiL’s insistence on incorporating Jack and the other candidates into his escape plan is fascinating. I can’t tell whether he actually needs them to leave with him or whether he has more nefarious plans. I’m inclined to believe he needs them dead, except that he could have picked them off one at a time. With that caveat my guess is a third option. While we’re on big picture questions, I’m still stuck on why Kate’s name was crossed off. In the vein of what makes this one different from the rest, we can forget about her leaving the island or not meeting Jacob. I think it has to do with some failed test, like taking Aaron or failing to heed Jacob’s advice from her childhood.
Anyone else feel shades of Jurassic Park when the power goes off on the fence? We’ve got cages and a threat that now can’t be contained. In the immortal words of Samuel L. Jackson’s character from that movie, “Hold on to your butts.”
• Hugo: “And we’re dead.” Is this a drama or a comedy? Chop it down to half an hour and it should run with Modern Family.
• So we now have all the camps combined and Jack seemingly destined to take on the role of Island Protector, except it’s not that simple. First of all, we’ve got Richard, Miles and Ben wandering in the jungle. Additionally, Jack is going to get some sign to stop MiL. And oh yeah, Lapidous hasn’t kicked ass or taken names yet, although he seemed poise to kick his way out of the cage.
• It’s nice to finally see the effect of bullets on MiL. Also, I loved the ramp onto the plane. I think this will eventually part of the LOST theme park in Disney. The cages will be for adults only…
• In the continuation of the season four themes, the plane is totally wired to explode in something akin to the freighter. MiL’s cavalier transportation of the C-4 is also reminiscent of the original Locke, who loved explosives. He loved blowing up hatches, submarines and people’s dreams. I miss that guy. MiL’s man cans just don’t bounce and jiggle with the same natural rhythm and buoyancy. At least Sawyer is still conning people, since I firmly believe his reaffirmation oath to MiL was total crap … and now we’re seeing that play out with his “get it in the water” plan.
• I would like to burn down every Macys that I run across after seeing this terrible advertisement about their jewelry. Wait, I DVR’d this. Why am I watching commercials?
• I’m for letting MiL get off the island if it means the end of Grey’s Anatomy.
• What’s this “Mr. Locke” and “Miss. Littleton” stuff in the sideways world? Everyone gets one name, duh. He’s Locke, she’s Claire, you’re Jack and everyone else gets a nickname from Sawyer.
• MMMMM… An Apollo bar. I really could go for a fictional candy right now.
• Is this the first time we’ve confirmed how Jack’s dad died? I can’t remember learning about the actual cause in the normal reality. I’m doubtful of these supposed circumstances. I smell foul play. I smell the bare footed, unwashed clothes scent of Jacob.
• At this point in the sideways world, I think it would be easier to discover who wasn’t on OCEANIC 815.
• Not sure what I’m looking for in Claire’s mirror. They didn’t seem to flash on anything and I didn’t notice anything. Maybe she’s supposed to use it for her monster calves, as a sign that her high socks and kankles will never woo a man like Charlie Pace.
• If Lapidous was ever going to die, it seems like now is a good possibility. Definitely a good move sending in Hurley with the strike force on the submarine. What was with the backpack move by MiL?
• Love that Kate got shot and the possibilities of that. Can’t believe Jack didn’t catch a bullet when he turned in rage mode and began firing shots without any attempt to seek cover. A little disturbed by MiL’s gun working after going in the water. Felt genuinely bad for Claire as she saw the submarine dive. And oh yeah, why is MiL so calm? Maybe it has something to do with those backpack shenanigans…Based on the bomb in the backpack, I’d say yes.
• Jack seems to think this was MiL’s plan all along. I’m inclined to agree, except I wonder why he planned it in this fashion. What is the meaning to this group death? If it’s all about subverting Jacob’s will, why did he create a scenario that was so dangerous for his plans.
• First thing is first with a bomb, “does anyone have something we can freeze it with?” No. Second thing is to hope Jacob won’t let it explode, like on the BLACK ROCK. Third thing is to miraculously survive like when the hatch blew up. Love that Jack has opted for choice two. I like that for the first time he is reasoning things out with some sort of vision of the big picture. I feel really dumb that he is connecting the dots faster than me. Based on that ghost kid’s reiteration of rule I think Jack is right, and now I need to take a shower because I feel dirty saying that. Too bad his skills of persuasion are as lackluster as ever.
• Everyone calm down! Can’t Hurley float the entire submarine????Also, shouldn’t Mikhail be floating in the water????
(Editor’s Note: At this point Dave began crying way too much to take any notes. The rest of the show, post-explosion will be documented in the traditional style of his blog. It will include his immediate emotions and thoughts. More will be following after this monumental episode of LOST)

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Get an "American Life"

I am a huge consumer of podcasts. In the past I've recommended Tony Kornheiser's daily show and railed against the work of Adam Carolla. Today I want to recommend a podcast that was suggested to me four months ago, and has become a regular in my routine.
The podcast in question is "THIS AMERICAN LIFE," which is a public radio show out of Chicago with host Ira Glass. At this point i should acknowledge that I was steered this way by my friend Jaime Fuller, who knows everything about everything, except her rejection of George Clooney as the second coming of Cary Grant.
The show is broadcast weekly and each episode is about an hour long journey that revolves around a specific theme. Sometimes there will be one yarn to hear, but more often than not it's three or four loosely connected ideas. These themes have included: guns, 81 words, contents unknown, inside job, true urban legends and most recently one about returning to the scene of the crime.
For example, the recent episode detailed criminals who were forced to march in front of stores they robbed, the retelling of a car accident, a lyrical DVD commentary and a lapsed Catholic's quasi return to the faith.
The captivating aspect of "THIS AMERICAN LIFE" is the depth of the stories and the relative obscurity of the topics. Regarding the latter point, I find myself being educated about areas I was almost completely ignorant of. As far as the depth of the stories, in weeks where they tackle fewer subjects they spend time slowly unraveling each thread of the event they're exposing.
The show is akin to a series of magazine features, except that they're often delivered in an offbeat manner not found in any news magazines. For instance, NEWSWEEK wouldn't offer a song parody while explaining the role hedge funds played in the financial collapse.
Ultimately, this is what separates THIS AMERICAN LIFE from other a show like 60 minutes or Frontline. Those shows treat entertainment as a secondary concern, while it feels like its equally important as uncovering the truth for the producers of THIS AMERICAN LIFE. These shows do share a unique bond, which is that often their stories seem hard to belief. It's as if the facts they reveal are too ridiculous to be true, like in the case of a guy who gets in an accident and ends up having to pay the drunk driver who hit him as the result of a police report error.
Even if you think a topic might not be germane to your interests, you'll find yourself entranced with a surprise topic more often than not. And with that, I can't think of any reason why you shouldn't give this show a try.
Until next time, when Jaime submits her guest rant about Clooney's plan to remake "NORTH BY NORTHWEST"