Time To Erase This Family

I think it was around ninth grade when my family's cat of 20 years began to show signs that death was imminent. There were a few false alarms, which were followed by periods of rejuvenation and misguided hope. Ultimately, though, Angie's life became intolerable and we put her down.
If we had been honest with ourselves we never should have let things go as far as they did. Angie probably suffered more than she had to at the end, and let's face it, this isn't a person we're talking about.
But in the order of putting something out of their misery the chain doesn't merely go humans and then cats in order of difficulty of decision. Below cats are probably a whole host of other animals, namely ones that are more often eaten, and then tv shows. Specifically in this instance, THE SIMPSONS.
(Editor's Note: Wow, that was a long setup for basically nothing. I think someone is feeling some residual guilt about killing his cat. It's that or he's still drunk from last night and this makes sense to him.)
I was a devout follower of the THE SIMPSONS for about six years, and then my interest tapered off in college. It was around that time that I began collecting the DVDs from the shows renaissance period and had my love of the show reaffirmed forever.
But while I loved the good times, I've also suffered through some pretty terrible times, which could included the last 6 years of the show. It just hasn't been funny. It has relied on nostalgia and super sweet story lines to putter along towards the record of longest running scripted show.
When THE SIMPSONS movie came out, and I found it funny, I thought there was hope. Maybe they still had some juice left in them. Now it seems like that was the writers' last bit of funny they had left, because the show has been pretty terrible in the wake of that brief blip of funny.
Sure, there have been the occasional laughs and positive signs, but after the most recent episode of THE SIMPSONS I'm ready to officially abandon ship. It's probably too late for me, though, as I've basically ridden this sinking vessel to the bottom of the ocean. While I'm happy to finally get this weight off my back and move on with my life, I will say it was a good ride overall.
(Editor's Note: THe Lombardo's cat, Stewart, is looking for a new home. He is terrified that they have become cold blooded killers and will slaughter him at the first sign of weakness.)

The apprentice becomes the Master

The biggest news surrounding Celebrity Apprentice has been the brain hemorrhage of contestant Brett Michaels. While this didn't impact the show, as it was filmed a while ago, it has grabbed the country's attention as evidenced by the ratings increase for the most recent episode.
And those new viewers who turned in were not disappointed, as they were treated to the best episode of Celebrity Apprentice ever! You might think, the "Whore Pit vipers" debacle of last season might take the cake, but that episode represented the worst in reality television. It was entertaining, except it appealed to the lowest common denominator.
In Sunday night's episode we had teamwork, comedic moments and super sweet sappy moments that belong over on ABC with HOMEMAKEROVER EXTREME EDITION SEARS. (That might not be its official name...)
This season has been marred by too much tension amongst the women. Every week induced a squirmtastic moment, where it all became unbearable. It was so bad that Sharon had decided she wouldn't just skip another task, but that she would quit.
Luckily this was avoided, because The Donald switched up teams. He created team Brett, formerly known as Rock Solid, which is characterized by the singer's loosey goosey attitude and penchant for creative jibber jabber. THe other team is still just team Tenacity, with its hodgepodge of personalities that will eventually serve as a pressure cooker.
What made the episode enjoyable was that the drama had been removed, and we got to watch celebrities work at tasks. Team Brett focuses their sexually charged atmosphere to create a sexually charged workout. Team Tenacity utilized their no nonsense approach to generate a plain jane workout, but in the process raise a ton of money through tireless fundraising efforts.
(Editor's Note: This show does not sound entertaining. At what point will he give up and just say, you had to be there.)
But I digress... Hear are some of the high notes:
1. Brett Michaels has a great body. Granted, there is a 99% chance he is bald under that bandanna, but there's a 99% chance he could wash it on his washboard abs.
2. Brett Michaels finds some ugly ladies attractive. That totally explains ROCK OF LOVE.
3. I'm worried about Cyndi Lauper's mom. She is super old.
4. Summer Sanders is really hot.
5. The show finally added a caveat to its fundraising episodes, so that it wasn't simply about getting checks. Now when someone made a donation, the team had to find a body to represent the check. Undermines the task a little bit, but it is a step in the right direction.
6. The former WWE DIVA has a really charming personality. I would watch her on her own reality show.
7. The Donald's current wife made an appearance on the show. It was as awkward as you think it was.
8. In the end, The Donald didn't fire anyone. He was happy with everyone's performance, so he opted to keep them all. Sort of saw it coming, since there wasn't enough time to fire anyone. Was surprised that Holly offered to write a check to Sharon's charity

Ok, I'll admit that this was a bad post. Probably should have taken notes. If you made it to this point, I apologize.

The Week in Review

This is the second installment of my week in review segment. Based on last week's responses no one read it or everyone was just apathetic about it. Regardless, I will try again with week 2.
1. On the Celebrity Apprentice things got more catty than usual, as we finally realized last year's Joan Rivers vs. Annie Dukes rivalry in the form of Cyndi Lauper vs. a WWE Diva. (Sure, I could look up her name, but I won't.)
I totally love the Diva, who has proven herself to be a valuable asset and doesn't deserve the diva moniker i'm using. Lauper on the otherhand, was a terrible director of talent and basically just reminded me of my mom. Granted, my mom is a smart lady who runs a newspaper, but at home she has the same kind of attention deficit disorder and dictatorial tendencies that Cyndi exhibits.
Anyway, the two ladies butted heads, adding another enemy to Lauper's growing list of haters.
In the end, though, it was Goldberg who was sent home. He deferred to Brett Michaels and ended up losing, but kept on smiling. (That joke makes sense if u watch the show. If not, then just know that Goldberg was adamant about smiling. Ok, it doesn't work.)
2. On Monday there was no Chuck. But, I did get a return of HOUSE, even if it was 8 days after its originally airing since I watch it on HULU.
(Editor's Note: Not only is this week in review dated, it includes shows that are two weeks old! If you think we're editing this for valuable content, then think again. The only thing we took out was naked pictures of Cyndi Lauper that David photo-shopped, because we don't want to get sued.)
The episode was directed by Hugh Laurie, and it actually offered a different style as almost every scene revolved around the interplay of two characters. This was the product of some terrible scripting that required the hospital to be shutdown after a baby is misplaced and forced Cuddie to think unconventionally at the end of the show. The whole thing was uninspiring, especially the David Strathairn scenes that wasted a great actor in boring scenes opposite Hugh Laurie. Oh yeah, there was also stupid sex between Chase and Cameron. Basically HOUSE sucks. I WANT CHUCK
3. Why didn't I remember to DVR JUSITIFIED?!?!? Now i have to wait for it to show up OnDemand, which seems to take forever. So blame the stupid network's OnDemand provisions for my inability to comment on this show.
4. Wasn't wild about the Madonna episode on GLee. Loved the Like A Virgin remake, which was uber hot, but felt it was covered better in MOULIN ROUGE.
5. FLASHFORWARD killed off an interesting character in a surprising way. Well the death itself was more surprising, since i didn't think the writers would have the balls to kill off a compelling character without a bigger payoff. The death is proposed earlier in the episode, but I thought there would be a too convenient way around this outcome. But no, this guy gets wacked and the show opened another can of worms it will never close if it gets canceled.
6. FRINGE was really good. Not just episodic good, but serialized excellence was on display. Peter (joshua Jackson) finally learned that he's from the other dimension and responded by going on the lam. I also love the bad guy, whoever he is, and look forward to more tussles with him.
7. The food revolution met it's match in the series finale, and the winner was a lack of self-control! Boy I hate Jamie Oliver and hope I never have to hear from him again. Some people admired him personally and others appreciated his task, while I just hoped West Virginia would be bombed. I did get to learn that the Rascal Flats are a huge band, according to Jaime. Thanks!

SO this review didn't hit everyday or every show i watch, but offers you a little glimpse of the crap i devour. (Crap Jamie Oliver lets me eat with no second thought)

The Man in Locke wants you!

(Editor's Note: Dave was bleeding from the nose while watching this episode, so it may not make any sense. Luckily, regular readers shouldn't recognize a difference.)
• Just caught the last second of the Dancing With The Stars results show. It appears that Kate was sent home, but the real losers in this are her kids.
• Love the idea that Jack deferred to Hurley. I hope he had a good time captaining the ship, but now daddy’s home and he’s psyched up to make some decisions that will get a lot of people killed (e.g. Get on that boat, we got to go back, and we got to blow up a bomb).
• I feel like I’m cheating on a test, because we’re getting answers! It has now been confirmed (with some room for doubt) that the Man in Black (MiB) is the one masquerading as dead people. I think I believe him, if only because he knew where Christian led Jack. Still a little confused about whether he pretended to be Dave, since that guy existed in Hurley’s mind…. My guess: Dave, donning bathrobe and slipper will return as real head honcho of the island. (kidding)
• Totally forgot about Sun! This coincides perfectly with my theory that all the Losties will be coming together in the sideways world. Hopefully, though, we don’t have a CTU situation here where there’s only one capable surgeon and someone ends up dying. Good thing Charlie hasn’t killed Ethan yet, because he could come in handy, especially if we need to stick someone with a needle.
• “It’s him!” Apparently sideway Sun should be called Conscious-Sun, because she recognizes Locke.
• It’s a family reunion! What a happy moment, except for the fact that Claire wants to kill Kate, her possible sister in law. Her logic is flawed though, since Richard resisted the urge to join MiB after he heard his spiel. However, I do find it amusing that Mr. Freewill can supposedly remove someone’s free will by talking to them…
• As if I didn’t have a big enough boner already (always a full two inches when watching LOST), they bring back the Star Wars references! Plus it’s great to have Han (Sawyer) and Chewbacca (Hurley) reunited.
• Here’s the plan sideways Kate: When you’re in the holding cell you can have hot cage sex with Sawyer. Not sure what this accomplishes, but it sounds hot… On a more serious note, I love that Sideways Sawyer references their run in and contemplates fate.
• “Here we go.” You’re darn right Man in Locke. Maybe not as compelling as Heath Ledger’s, “And here we go,” in the Dark Knight.
• I’ve brought this up in the past, but I think it is worth repeating: Ilana is a babe. Her, Libby and Naomi make up the underrated All-Stars. Their rival would be Kate, the overrated hussy who needs to die, ASAP.
• Vintage LaFleur! I missed this guy so much. It’s nice to know he was working a long con on MiL, especially since he appeared mentally checked out after Juliet died.
• Sideways Sawyer is totally around back. Nice to be validated.
• “Of course note, it’s a terrible idea.” Sawyer delivers my favorite line of the night, and also points out what an idiot Kate is for the double whammy. Sawyer is the only one on this show who has ever been able to appreciate his surroundings and adequately judge the people around him, as evident by the fact he realizes Claire is a lost cause and Sayid’s a zombie. By the way Kate, who did you make this promise to? And another thing Kate, is Loreal pissed that your hair looks so terrible on the island? And finally, will you please kill yourself?
• I don’t think Claire wants to get abandoned again. I wonder what will happen. Are there different levels of crazy? Like now she’s crazy enough to still play connect four with Hurley, but pretty soon she’ll be rambling off numbers? 95,81,80,76,72,20. (Spoiler Alert: That’s Kate’s decreasing IQ through the seasons)
• No way Sayid killed Desmond. Pretty soon we’ll be spelling redemption, S-A-Y-I-D!
• Anyone else bothered by the LOST finale airing on a Sunday? I’m pretty pissed. On a sidenote: I want to put together a LOST party. WE’ll have dharma rum, nicknames and bathing suits for everyone!
• At this point I’m pretty confident that Jack’s ex-wife is Juliet. It’s his prodigy son’s blue eyes that give it away. That and Elizabeth Mitchell’s complete absence from any of the sideways stories so far. It won’t be his normal ex-wife, since that won’t mean anything to us.
• What is making this boat go? The sails aren’t up. Is there an engine?
• “Doesn’t feel right.” Classic Jack. Love that he’s going with his gut again. His “the island’s not done with us yet,” line is reminiscent about Eloise’s proclamation about Desmond. I think he is right. I’ve always been a Jacobite, and for the first time it feels like Jack is actually in touch with my god. WE’RE HEADING TOWARD A FACEOFF BETWEEN MiL AND JACK, which will basically be a substitute for the MiB and Jacob standoff. Now more than ever I’m also convinced there is a higher power on the island, a referee of sorts. Right now there are four people playing the game, or at least aware of it, and they’re MiL, Jacob, Widmore and Eloise.
• Three things: Jack should have gotten run over by the boat and guy’s love jumping into that water to get away Kate. (That’s why he jumped, right?) The third thing is how quickly LaFleur became season four Jack, with his intense desire to get off the island. This is pretty depressing, unless of course Sawyer gets to grow a beard.
• My heart stopped for about a minute, as we finally got the reunion we’ve been waiting for since we learned Jin was alive in season five. The payoff didn’t reach the epic proportions we saw in the season four finale when Penny and Desmond saw each other, but it was still sweet.
I had basically given up hope at this point that their reunion was even in the cards anymore, so I’ll take what I can get.

And that’s basically it. Before I comment on the tone and flow of this episode, which reminded me of earlier episodes before the show was steeped so heavily in its own mythology, I want to talk about the sideways story.
Until now I haven’t had a real theory about the sideways world, except for the idea that it stemmed from the detonation of Jughead. But now I’m ready to posit the beginning of a theory, and it doesn’t involve Jughead. I think Jughead was a red herring, as far as the sideways story is concerned, and that it only served to transport out Losties through time.
The real initiation for the sideways story hasn’t happened yet. I think it will play out in the finale, and the sideways story will be a consequence of actions on the island in that episode. This makes more sense than dual realities occurring at the same time, since you’ve got dead characters and Desmond’s attitude on the island. His attitude could reflect his belief that whatever happens on the island is meaningless, as they’ll ultimately end up in the sideways reality.
After saying all that, though, I don’t think the end game is the sideways story. Actions there will end up being the deciding factor for the island, which is why sideways (conscious?)-Eloise was so adamant about Desmond’s path. It felt like she had plans for the Losties, and my guess is that they involve restoring the correct order.
How this ties into cask’o’wine and everything else, I don’t know.
Finally, this was an episode not really weighed down by the lore of the show. Sure, we got answers, but they weren’t the focus. This episode relied heavily on action, like something from the end of season four when we were dealing with the people on the freighter. I’ve made this comparison earlier, and I think it deserves real consideration. Both situations involve Widmore’s water traveling vehicles and characters faced with the choice of leaving/serving on the island. Plus, in both cases I doubt the intentions of Widmore. He still hasn’t answered for the first time he tried to destroy the island…
So what did you think about the episode? Excited about where the show’s heading? Like this format again??? Ilana is hot, right????

ALMOST THERE

I rarely try to anticipate anything on LOST, but I think I have an idea about tonight's episode. (If you don't want to read a possible spoiler, stop.)
The episodes of LOST lately have been pushing toward a culmination of events. This is pretty obvious, as we're coming to the series finale. But specifically i'm referring to the tribal council we'll have tonight with the Jacobites and the Men in Locke.
In my opinion, though, the more interesting come to jesus moment is occurring in the flashsideways world. It appears that Desmond has taken it upon himself to wake everyone up to the previous reality. I think he was successful with Locke when he hit him with the car, as it seemed vaguely reminiscent of when he was pushed out of the building by his dad. Ok, so this time he didn't die, but i think it works.
Where is Locke going to go now? Why to the hospital. But what hospital, Sacred Heart? No, wrong show. He'll go where all-star surgeon Jack works. This could possibly bring about his awakening too!
Anyway, that's where the show is heading. It makes sense if you consider that the flashsideways could then mirror the island events, since in both scenarios Locke (or MiL) would be dealing with Jack. No idea what's going to actually come from all of this, but that's the setup I think we'll get tonight.
Crazy? Possibly on the right track? I'm going to watch TOTALLY LOST now and listen to people smarter than me talk about Lost.

Women Roles I Love/HATE

(Editor’s Note: This blog contains many assumptions and claims that will come across as either sexist, stupid or spot on. We will watch joyfully as Dave crashes and burns.)
In the wake of a debate about Kristen Stewart’s film personality and after being accused of having a type, I’ve been thinking about female actors and the roles they play. (My brain doesn’t follow a normal progression.) Specifically, my thoughts have been revolving around the female personas that I become enamored with after watching them for about two hours. (That sounds creepier than I intended. You get that I’m not stalking actresses, right?) Anyway, I have a penchant for falling in love every time I go to the cinema.
I’m no studio sellout, though, as I have no patience for the work of Angelina Jolie, Scarlett Johannson, Julia Roberts, Megan Fox, Katherine Heigel, Jennifer Aniston, Jennifer Garner, Jessica Biel and Jessica Alba. That’s not to say I don’t appreciate a pretty face, since I’m still prone to the same shallow urges that dominate most men. However in my case personality plays a huge role in the characters, which is why I wanted to explore the archetypes I’m drawn to.
The best way to approach this task is by eliminating the stereotypes that drive me crazy.
1. The Girl Who Doesn’t Need a Man to be Happy.
• This is a reasonable attitude, if it is applied reasonably. Ultimately it becomes the basis for a caricature of the working woman, who devolves into nothing more than a bitch. She’s got an unnecessarily hard outer shell that ends up cracking for no reason, and as an audience we’re supposed to coo with delight over the fact that a man has shown her what she’s been missing. I’m sorry, but that seems like the brainchild of an idiot guy that had a negative encounter with a woman who he deemed, “needed to get laid.” Only a man could conceive a character that is this simple, uninteresting and unappealing to a male looking for someone he can have an emotional connection to.
(Editor’s Note: This blog has not been hijacked by a girl. It is in fact the odd sensibilities of a 22 year old who obviously received feminine hormone injections and is therefore offering a skewed perception that most men would reject.)
Examples: Julia Stiles in 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU (with the caveat that her demeanor stemmed from a bad encounter with a boy earlier in life)
2. The Girl Looking for a Man to Complete Her
• The only thing as bad as a woman who adamantly denies a man in her life is the woman who believes she can’t live without a man. These ladies typically have a desire for a baby, a fear of dying alone or have an overly romantic view of marriage. While representing a more realistic depiction of women, these traits become even less attractive when blown up on a gigantic screen.
Examples: Kirsten Davis in SEX AND THE CITY (before she met Harry); Katherine Heigel in UGLY TRUTH; Kristen Stewart in the Twilight movies
3. The Girl With No Self-Esteem
• While no guy wants to be dominated by a bossy control freak (ok, it’s kind of hot), we do want a girl who has a back bone. A woman who can’t stand up for herself can never be an equal partner in a relationship, let alone be interesting enough to hold a conversation with.
Examples: Renee Zellweger in JERRY MAGUIRE
4. The Girl With the superfluous WTF attitude
• This character is reminiscent of my favorite type, except their demeanor is akin to James Dean’s annoying approach: What are you rebelling against? “What do you got?” These ladies won’t change for anyone, which is admirable, except for the fact that they go out of their way to be cantankerous.
Examples: Bridget Wilson in LOVE STINKS (no one saw this movie. French Stewart, the weirdest guy from 3rd Rock From the Sun, plays the love interest)
5. The crazy and annoying girl. (Self Explanatory)
Example: Anna Faris in JUST FRIENDS and Selma Blair in CRUEL INTENTIONS
6. The self-righteous girl
• This is essentially reserved for Lindsay Lohan in Mean Girls and Reese Witherspoon in Cruel Intentions. Their holier than thou outlooks, and their eventual transitions, drove me up the wall crazy. Lohan in particular was painful to watch, since she ended up being the opposite of her character.
Ok, so at this point I feel like I’ve documented enough of the types I hate. Plus, I’ve probably alienated all my women readers and have had my blogging rights revoked, so I guess I’ll move on to what I do like. To be fair, I should also admit that this next part really just describes the composite character I would want to date, so if you fall into this description and want to start sluming it, I’M IN!
So my composite dream character has these qualities: Steely resolve and a soft side; witty repartee and soft spoken; ebullient and reserved; grounded and prone to flights of fancy; whimsical and contemplative; not too serious and not fake.
Now that I’ve finished my list of contradictions, let me explain. The perfect female character walks a very fine tightrope, with one wrong step being perilous.
Oh my god, this is the dumbest thing I’ve ever written. How about I just give a list of female characters I like and we forget this ever happened? (I would just trash this whole thing, but it took me a while. Doesn’t say too much about me as a writer or a person…)
Here’s the list: Kristen Stewart in ADVENTURELAND; Elizabeth Mitchell on LOST; Mila Kunis in Forgetting Sarah Marshall; Meryl Streep in JULIE AND JULIA; Cameron Diaz in THERE’S SOMETHING ABOUT MARY; Carey Mulligan in AN EDUCATION; Mary Louise Parker in THE WEST WING; Natalie Portman in anything where she’s herself; Uma Thurman in BEAUTIFUL GIRLS; Ellen Page in JUNO
Now that this is over, can we pretend it never happened?

Let's get this party started!

In this post-live television viewing world we live in, I have opted to take many shows at my own pace. That means DVRing, watching on DVD or viewing illegally/legally online. Sometimes the choice stems from viewing conflicts or other times it is just a matter of convenience.
In the case of BREAKING BAD, I typically watch an entire season online before the next season comes out. It's one of those shows that you really want to devour all at once, but isn't water cooler fodder so you don't need to be current. Unfortunately, LOST is a show where you need to be current or you'll have it ruined for you, otherwise I'd watch it all on DVD.
There are also shows that I simply didn't get into in time because I wasn't in on the ground floor. That list includes Battlestar Galactica, The Wire and Deadwood. I eventually went back and became devout followers, and in the case of the first two became a live viewer. There is now another show to add to that list, and it's STARZ's PARTY DOWN. I've always been cognoscente of the show's existence, but it was on a channel I didn't get and eventually it fell to the wayside.

With the debut of season two, and a relatively empty queue list I've decided to begin season one of PARTY DOWN, and i'm very happy with my decision.
Maybe this post is premature, but after one episode i've emotionally bonded and committed to this show.
As a Ben and Jerry's employee, PARTY DOWN is extremely accessible to me. The intense level of reality that the show cultivates is depressing and hilarious.
The attraction of PARTY is the writing and the character actors that deliver. You'll recognize almost everyone on the wait staff from something else, whether it's Jane Lynch (GLEE, Role Models), Lizzy Caplan (True Blood/Mean Girls), Ken Marino (Role Models), Adam Scott (Step Brothers) or Martin Starr (Knocked Up, Adventureland). THe only person I didn't know was Ryan Hansen, who is a regular in show creator ROb Thomas's other stuff, like Veronica Mars.
This cast is what makes the show so great, in that they're not scene stealing stars. Like the staffers they're playing they're people who can blend into the scenery and become a party of the reality they're trying to convey.
I really like the developing dynamic between Caplan and Scott, which seems to foreshadow a love connection. Scott is the show's lead, and he plays an actor who had his fifteen minutes and has given up that life. At this point we don't know what happened, but we can glean that the experience has changed him. (To the point where he doesn't enjoy a handy from a MILF during the premier.)
Unfortunately, I don't think Jane Lynch will be a regular on the show. Martin Starr seems to be playing the same misunderstood loser he always does, which is ok as long as he's thrown into some interesting scenarios.
As long as PARTY remains true to the pathetic premise it offers I'm in for the long haul. In my book the show is more promising than other semi-scripted comedies like CURB.
I really look forward to getting down with PARTY DOWN.

Week in Review

This is the first in a new weekly installment I'll be doing every Sunday, where I recap what you need to know about the past week in television. I'll delve into the things I felt were interesting or that you might need to know.
Why am i doing this? Basically because EW does something like this and I liked the idea. Besides that, though, it is as pointless as everything else I read.
Anyway, if you haven't stopped reading already, enjoy...
1. On The PACIFIC, Steven Spielberg got to use left over stock footage from SAVING PRIVATE RYAN for another island invasion scene.
2. For some reason Donald Trump loves Cyndi Lauper and Sharon Osbourne, since he refused to fire them, even though the latter missed the entire challenge and the former missed 80% of it. The same treatment was denied to Michael Johnson, who asked for a leave of absence, but was told that leave would have to be permanent since he'd miss a task. This double standard was infuriating, especially since Sharon is useless and will be fired the next time her team loses.
3. There was no CHUCK. I mean what the heck. No Chuck? What the F*$%?
4. On V we got an introduction to John May (Michael Trucco) via a flashback. It was exciting to see Trucco back on television in a character eerily similar to his Battlestar Galactica role. The only problem was that he was summarily killed off during the flashback...
5. I don't know why I'm watching FLASHFORWARD anymore. I've seen the future, and it won't be on in the fall.
6. Jamie Oliver asked the high school kids to try his food ... and they did!!! Unfortunately, the elementary school still offered flavored milks and all the kids died.
7. SNL was totally underrated. It was a character-centric show with limited stories, but they were still giggle worthy. My favorite was Andy Sandberg as an accountant for celebrities. It show cased the cast's ability to mimic tons of stars. COPY AND PASTE the link.
http://www.hulu.com/watch/143265/saturday-night-live-celebrity-taxes-mort-feingold

Ok, so that was the first week in review segment. Any thoughts? SHould it be longer or shorter? Should it try to be somewhat relevant or cohesive?

More Stuff White People Like: TREME

Last Sunday was David Simon's return to HBO with his new show TREME. This is his first return to a scripted television show since his miniseries GENERATION KILL. Simon, though, is better known/revered for his creation of THE WIRE.
The main difference between THE WIRE and TREME is the focus of the shows. I'm not talking about their settings, but rather the fact that THE WIRE revolved around a city and its institutions, while TREME is based on the zany characters that occupy a city and its institutions. The result is similar, in that you're forced to deal with a broad spectrum of characters and a vast array of stories.
Where the difference is notable is in the way that the stories all feel isolated from each other, even when the show tries, to its detriment, to create one big picture.
The two protagonists appear to be New Orleans DJ, Davis McAlary (Steve Zahn) and trombone player, Antoine Batiste (Wendell Pierce). My inclination here is to analyze these men as representing different aspects of WIRE hero James McNulty, but i will ward off that feeling. It is a tough one to beat back, as they both walk to their own beat in a F U to the institutions they're semi-rebelling against and they both seem reliant on the help of others in a parasite type way.
Ok, getting way too analytical here. Let's get back to my bread butter...
I like TREME. I don't love it, since it feels like work to a certain extent. THis is evident by the fact i added an intermission and found my interest waning at points. The problem stems from the central theme, New Orleans, being inaccessible to me. Where THE WIRE was about institutions in B'more, TREME is about the city itself. I now that sounds like a contradiction to what i wrote earlier, but i mean it in the sense that the characters deal with a setting that is unique and therefore doesn't translate well to this white suburban dude.
Anyway, I felt that John Goodman was more of a wikipedia page than an actual character. Don't get me wrong, he was entertaining, but he feels more like an educational tool than a character. He seems to represent all the themes the show is trying to get across, without subtly letting us glean them for ourselves.
Goodman's wife on the show, portrayed by Melissa Leo, also leaves a little to be desired. Reminiscent of ED the bowling alley lawyer, she appears to be the only shyster in town after the Hurricane. I make this assessment based on the fact she seems to be everyone's lawyer or if not, is a patron at their establishment. Additionally, she seems far too altruistic, as if she's overdosing on a guilty trip.
I really enjoy DEADWOOD vet and LOST flashback participant Kim Dickens as a chef trying to run a restaurant without any staff. Her story doesn't seem poised to blend well with the rest of the show, unless every scene takes place in her restaurant, and this reality disappoints me. She is a captivating starlet who demands my attention in any role, which is obvious from the way she stole the premier with just a few lines in her restaurant.
I'm also a willing participant on the Steve Zahn train. His high-strung DJ has the potential to be annoying, except he has avoided this danger after one episode. Basically he's entertaining, and I'm fine with that. He's an amusing distraction.
Ultimately, though, that's what the show feels like. A series of distractions thrown together. The caveat being that this is a David Simon production, and as such it will take time to develop, so i'm going to refrain from embracing this negative characterization and will only let it exist as a possibility to be wary of in the back of our mind.
Hopefully I'll have more coherent thoughts as the show progresses. For now I'm committed and look forward to next week's episode.
Are you going to watch? Did you watch? Do you get enough New Orleans flavor from Emeril???

EDITOR'S NOTE

Note from the Editor: We've seen record visits to Dave's blog recently, and we wanted to express our concern. You realize there is porn to be watched and qualified writers to be read? Or does this just mean Saratoga Springs has been taken over by a syphilitic insanity?
Regardless, we appreciate the interest and are open to suggestions of possible topics. Because we here at Entertainment Daily might not provide quality or timely content, but we love getting suggestions that we can shrug off.
Finally, all this exposure has gotten to Dave's head and it might be reflected in his writing. Don't be surprised if he gets all political, begins diatribes against Jennifer Hudson or just offers links to videos of cats waking up.

Glee As I Want To Be

(Editor's Note: If you're looking for a raw masculine breakdown of the return of GLEE, then look elsewhere. If you want to hear the giddy ramblings of a moron, well, what's wrong with you???)
Screw it, I'm going to be like a runaway Toyota, and just roll with it.
The old me was a critical SOB when it came to Volume 1 of GLEE, but i'm on board for the ride now. It is what it is, which is a series of amusing references aimed at forwarding the plot until the next song number. I'm fine with that, since the lines are amusing and the songs win me over every time.
Plot, eh. Development, blurgh. Some sort of continuity, blah.
SO with that in mind I just allowed myself to be swept away with the return of GLEE, and it was a fun ride.
Love the introduction of porn star Jesse Saint James. While I can't confirm that's his actual occupation, it will be eventually with that name. I also like the coach of Vocal Adrenaline, who seems poised to be the evil yin to Shu's girly yang. I smell drama, and it smells fabulous!
(Editor's Note: Who writes like this???)
I can't believe we were denied a makeout (seems like that should be one word) scene between the cheerios.
LOVED, LOVED, LOVED that Finn sucks at basketball. He's the anti-HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL protagonist. He can't do everything. He can't even make two hot chicks make-out (Hyphen?).
THis episode was way too light on Puck and Quinn, and way to heavy on Shu. Perfect amount of Sue. Could have used some lines for Other Asian, but I was happy that he got to dance.
Was anyone else a little weirded out by the way everyone started dancing during Rachel's song number? Seemed like that came together strangely. Stop it DAVE! DOn't question it, Dave! Just go with the flow.
No more dwelling on it. People are here and it's time to drink.
SO EXCITED FOR NEXT WEEK!!!

TICK TOCK HOLY CRAP!!!

1. Chloe is put in charge of CTU!!! Totally implausible, but totally delicious
2. CHARLES LOGAN IS BACK!!!! Always a good idea to trust this guy.
3. RENEE WALKER WAS KILLED!!!!(Not 100% convinced about this one) Hopeful, though, since it means loose cannon Jack. WEll more than he already is. Loose Nuclear Bomb! Watch out Manhattan, this guy will blow!

I actually like Hugo now

(Editor's Note: Dave's column is taking a different format for this episode. Normally he treats this blog like a toilet, where he leaves his crap. But something happened during the note taking process, and he put together an admittedly good live blog. Can't guarantee it next week. In fact, he probably made a mistake by setting the bar so high. Enjoy this one, and next week he'll disappoint you again.)
• Heading into this episode I assumed it was about the people in Venezuela who love Hugo Chavez.
• With tonight’s episode I’m drinking Dharma Rum. Well technically, Bacardi Rum.
• Always nice to spend time on Boone Hill. “Whose grave is this?” Why, the most underrated babe of the show, Libby. Oh yeah, she was crazy too. If you don’t believe the mysterious footage, then trust the fact she would risk a picnic with Hugo. I mean the guy could eat her…
• SO why does Michael have to appear as Kevin Johnson? Couldn’t he get some nicer threads in the afterlife?
• Jack knows Hurley is full of crap.
• Is it a cliché that the Spanish guy takes the Spanish girl to a Spanish restaurant?
• You know how I know you’re crazy? You think Hugo is your soul mate.
• So in Libby’s little speech we get shades of what we’ve heard all season. Granted, there is a certain amount of doubt introduced as a consequence of the mental hospital aspect, but I believe her. It seems like she is conscious of her experience on the island, and maybe that’s causing her mental instability. Either that or she was committed because of her obsession with Spanish fatties.
• Ok, let’s take a second to mourn the death of Ilana. Well, once I stop laughing that is. And there it is… Wow. I was a little caught off guard by the way she perished, especially before she got to fulfill her lifelong training. Dynamite has now killed Leslie Arzt and Ilana! So broken up about this, except not at all.
Nice to see LOST is finally shedding some of its characters, albeit it in strange ways. I think it would have been more worthwhile to have her die by the hands of Man in Locke (MiL), who kills her for her loyalty to Jacob. That would have at least given her death meaning, and not forced her to red shirt status. (The guys who are brought along for the sole purpose of dying.)
Anyway, this really changes the dynamic of the Jacob-ites, who are without a leader. Her forceful demeanor put her in charge, even if they were following Richard’s lead. Now Hurley has a legitimate chance to utilize his 6th sense abilities as the leader, considering Richard is a broken man and Jack is a wuss. I guess there’s always the possibility of a Ben resurgence…
• So we need everybody to come back and everybody to leave.
• I find comfort in the fact that Sayid doesn’t endorse pointless bloodshed. Maybe there is a bit of his soul that hasn’t been corrupted by MiL. I’m holding out hope that he will have a redemption moment.
• “Maybe she died to show us to stay the hell away from dynamite.” C’mon Jack, you love dynamite. You like secretly holding it in your pack and using it to play chicken with Richard. But seriously, what’s with Hugo’s flip flop? Does he want to be a 2004 Democratic Presidential nominee? ZING!
• I love this Sideways Conscious Desmond (forever known just as conscious-character’s name). He smells that something is up, and I think he’ll be the catalyst for a lot of action in the sideways world.
• “How can you be sure what he blasted you with?” And the winner for the dirtiest line of the show goes to MiL!
• Hi, my name is Ben and I’m a killjoy. Seriously man, unless your dour attitude is part of an awesome master plan, I don’t want it. Give me light. Give me some witty repartee. Give me some knowledge bombs. Blast me with knowledge bombs in the face!
• Dy-No-Mite! I love that Hugo pulled the reverse John Locke. In season three Locke prevented their escape by destroying the submarine, and now Hugo has preserved their escape by blowing up the Black Rock. Unless, of course, they were supposed to sail away on the Black Rock…
• The ole “fajita fieldtrip.” Libby is a ridiculously sane crazy person. Maybe this is just me, but I want to see Libby in a sequel to Shutter Island. On a more serious note, why didn’t Hurley have the same flash? Was she just more open to the possibility than he was?
• So Hurley hits on a crazy person? That seems morally dubious.
• “If I didn’t know better I’d say this island has it in for you.” I think MiL knows this is the case, and probably feels it is important to negate Desmond before the island can finish with him. Seeing the mysterious kid pop up, the fact Desmond can see him, MiL’s annoyance with his presence and the kid’s smile reaffirm my belief that Desmond is key to the story. Ok, that’s not a stretch or too insightful. But if we imagine the kid is the island’s referee, it is interesting to take note of the fact he was amused by what he was seeing. As if he knew MiL’s plan for Desmond would be fruitless.
• “Are you trying to get us killed?” Thank you Ben for at least giving us a little humor. He’s become the “I’m too old for the sh*$ “ cop who has great one-liners. His rebel sidekick? Obviously ship blowing up Hugo. The guy has demons, literally. Richard is the by the book Lieutenant who just gets in their way. Maybe that doesn’t work, since Ben went with Richard… On the plus side, I love Jack’s allegiance to Hurley/Jacob.
• The important thing to note in the new divide is that the candidates are on one side and the non-candidates are on the other. I don’t think MiL will have any qualms about killing everyone on the latter side. They mean nothing and are therefore expendable. Frank Lapidus being the superstud causes a slight contradiction in my hypothesis, but that’s fine. He’s the man. Heck, he’s probably a candidate. Would explain why he keeps popping up. (Seriously, though, he is totally dreamy. As far as I’m concerned this guy invented chest hair, gravely voices and painful sexy grimaces.)
• “How do you break the ice with a smoke monster?” Funniest line of the night goes to Hugo.
• Um, wow. Jack has given up his fixing ways? Doesn’t even care that Hugo was lying. Love this version of Jack. Love that he has embraced another mentality, now characterized by letting go. It used to be man of science, then man of faith and now Man of the flow. Dude, just go with it! Unless, as Hugo points out, it gets them all killed… Hey Hugo, try smoking whatever Jack is on and calm down.
• I hear whispers! And now we’re getting answers! I’m practically a full three inches right now. They’re the voices of dead people! This is amazing! “The ones who can’t move on!” We’ve got answers and it feels so good. I feel like Libby moved on, which is why we haven’t seen her on the island. (How about a message for your son, Michael???)
• Good thing Hugo remembered the blanket for this picnic… Why does she want to be with him? Because her dream is to be crushed during sex.
• Hugo flashed! It would appear that when Castaways relive moments from the island they become conscious of their island experiences. This could become conscious-Desmond’s task on the island.
(Modern Family promo looked amazing. I haven’t really written about this show, but I love it. It’s a poor man’s version of ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT, which puts it head and shoulders above every other sitcom out there.)
• BACK AWAY FROM THE WELL DESMOND!!! Penny is not in the well. “What is the point in being afraid?” Well, you might get thrown down a f’ing well!!! (P.S. We’ll totally see Desmond again)
• Now that the gang’s back, can Claire finally kill Kate? I don’t know the answer, but I hope it’s a resounding YES!
• Random thought: Instead of blowing up the plane, why didn’t Richard just kill Frank Lapidus?
• You know, I think conscious-Desmond might be aware of Locke trying to kill him…
Well that was fun. No final thoughts except that I loved the use of Gene Wilder’s voice from Willy Wonka in the trailer for next week.
What did you think? Good transitional episode? Was it a waste? Happy with the answers?

Jamie Oliver's Shameless Promotion

I am not a trusting person. I don't give people the benefit of the doubt. I don't take people on face value alone. For all these reasons I wasn't keen on embracing the efforts of Jamie Oliver and his food revolution.
No, I'm not local radio host Rod, who was Jamie's biggest detractor through the first three episodes. Rod embodied the critique of Jamie, which essentially revolved around distrust and a misplaced desire for freedom from food tyranny.
I'm not Rod, because Rod is an idiot. He turned a blind eye to the terrible choices his community was making, and seemed genuinely surprised when he realized the people of Huntington were eating themselves into a early and very wide grave. So yeah, Rod's a moron.
The one thing Rod may be correct about, though, is his allegation that Jamie has shameless motives.
Frankly, I didn't care whether his motives were altruistic or otherwise, as I just wanted compelling television. Compelling television it is not. In fact, it's not really mildly interesting, but we'll get back to that.
Jamie has come to America, specifically Huntington West Virginia to educate the fattest community in America about how to eat healthier. This is not a modest endeavor and it is a worthy one. The problem is that his approach seems entirely geared toward a television audience and not the people he is supposedly there to help.
The best example is his failure to follow state guidelines about school lunch. Not only does he fail to comply with some guidelines (that may be ridiculous), it seems he isn't even aware they exist. He then begins a righteous and correct tirade about pointless regulations, but he is missing the point altogether. The point is that he failed to understand the system or try to make it work for him. This would be fine if he was advocating a real revolution, and began proposing changes to a broken system, but he's not. He's working within the system to encourage something more akin to a food evolution.
Except that in his evolutionary process he skips steps. He ignores the idea that before you run you need to crawl and then walk. He fails to document his plans and scoffs at any sense of gradualism.
The failure for any sort of transition is evident early on, as he bans flavored milk. This is a showy gesture that isn't that meaningful, since there are things like low fat chocolate milk. This is appealing to young children and has health benefits, while not representing a radical change.
But no, Jamie wants elementary school kids to eat cauliflower and like it. I'm 22 and I don't like cauliflower, so why should these kids be expected to stomach it? Same with the coleslaw he serves with an extra side of righteous indignation. His menus early on are so un-kid friendly that i begin to channel Rod and Alice's resistance to his efforts.
Let's move on to the High SChool, where his biggest pet peeve is the prevalent role of french fires. This again is an area where he could have tried an incremental approach, which would have meant changing the way the fries are made and prepared. French Fries don't need to be deep fried and salted to death. You'd think a good chef would understand that the customer is, if not always right, at least deserving of having some of their desires listened to.
But no, Jamie confiscates French Fries and serves them all tea. (The first part of that is true.)
My main problem is that cooking nutritious food is important and it is fun. I learned that just from trying to lose weight during my spring semester of my senior year. Little things like using pam spray instead of olive oil or butter to grease a pan and using ground turkey instead of ground beef were little ways that i made drastic improvements in my health. Where are these changes?
And why isn't it fun? Jamie is making cooking seem like a chore, no matter how excited he is or how great of a dance routine he utilizes. When you're making something tasty, cooking for friends or just experimenting it can be fun. I want more of that.
Finally, why isn't the food simpler and more manageable? Jamie seems to ignore the idea that everyone can't cook as a job, and that for many people it is another hassle in a long day. He should be working in semi-homemade aspects and more frozen options. In the most recent episode he broached the idea of frozen vegetables, but he needs to do more in this arena.
Oh yeah, he also needs to do a better job of educating about food. He needs to explain why whole wheat is better than white, and that not all whole wheat is what it claims to be. He needs to expose how salad dressing can negate the benefits of a salad.
Those are my problems with his methods. These alone make me loathe the show. Unfortunately it's construction is also terribly flawed.
It's nice that the show has an episodic feel, but the challenges and climaxes feel staged and meaningless. Additionally, I think we're denied a full picture of what's going on as a result of a narrow and meandering focus.
In closing, I also loathe Jamie Oliver. He is annoying, unlikeable and unaccessible.
P.s. I did love the fact that he bragged about his ability to get the GOOD MORNING AMERICA show, an ABC program, to cover his ABC show. WOW!

Exciting Movie Trailers

The Good Heart: This film stars Paul Dano (Little Miss Sunshine and There Will Be Blood), as a down on his luck kid who befriends a bar owner played by Bryan Cox (Bourne Supremacy and Manhunter). Cox is an ecentric nut who wants Dano to take over his bar as part of his legacy. THe movie looks sweet, but not artificially sappy. I think this movie will merit watching, although i'm afraid it won't get a wide theatrical release.
Here's the link: http://bit.ly/b6hrVn


Kick-Ass: If you ever dreamed about being a superhero and like the raucus comedy of a movie like SUPERBAD, then Kick-Ass is for you. The movie looks like fun, and even has Nicolas Cage in a likeable role. THat in itself is a feet worth noting. The movie also has McLovin in it and charming newcomer Chloe Moretz.
The trailer is a redband one, so enjoy some swearing: http://bit.ly/b05c2t


Iron Man 2: This movie just looks cool. Doesn't appear to have the same weight of THE DARK KNIGHT, but it has the gravitas of Robert Downey Jr. My only fear is that they packed way too much into this movie, which result in breakneck pacing so everyone can get some screen time.
One of the many trailers: http://bit.ly/9Nz14N

Desmond makes me Happy

(Editor’s Note: In last week’s recap Dave spelled Widmore wrong repeatedly. You’d think we should catch that, as the editor, but frankly we hate reading his crap. I mean LOST is confusing enough without his idiotic thoughts making everything worse. So excuse us for not proofreading, but know that it wouldn’t happen if Dave could just be interesting and make sense. Finally, don’t expect our process to change, as we don’t expect his writing to get better. Just imagine that in his sideways reality he spells correctly and posits worthwhile thoughts.)
Before I pat myself on the back for my insight into the flashes, specifically how they relate to Desmond’s past experiences, I want to ramble about why this episode was so great.
In our most recent episode of LOST, Happily Ever After, we were presented with something that has been missing for most of the season: Interesting sideways stories. In the Substitute, Recon and Dr. Linus we were given sideways stories that could hang with the island events, but for the most part I haven’t given a hoot about these diversions. And that’s really what they are to a lot of fans, who are annoyed by these seemingly meaningless escapades that haven’t been that entertaining. Detractors of the sideways stories attack them because there is no context for them and the viewer is left without any way to quantify what they’re seeing.
My problem isn’t with the fact we’re getting a narrow snapshot in each sideways. My problem stems from the fact that these pictures don’t hold my attention. A majority of them have relied solely on the show’s mythology to drum up any interest and lack the episodic enjoyment of previous flashbacks and flashforwards.
Yet while I don’t love this plot device, I do enjoy it. My complaints are really just nitpicking, as I have enjoyed the experience on the whole and have faith the writers will provide meaning in the end.
In HAPPILY EVER AFTER we have a break from the rest of the season, excluding Richard’s back story, in that the sideways story appeared to be initiated by a catalyst in the episode. Desmond is back on the island, when he is thrown in a leftover Velociraptor cage from Jurrasic Park that exposes him to an electromagnetic field (EMF). The exposure, or incident, brings his consciousness to the sideways reality.
Immediately we learned that Hurley saw Desmond on the plane. This is an interesting reveal, in that we couldn’t confirm that our first Desmond sighting by Jack wasn’t all in his mind.
Although I say this with the conviction that there is still something funky about that plane ride, which was hinted at by Desmond’s request for the flight’s passenger list at the end of the episode. Not sure what he plans on revealing, but I think it’s either about the time they all share on the island. This could all culminate with some big meeting, possibly at the charity event. I’ll come back to this, since there is still a lot of ambiguity surrounding the possibilities. (What we can be sure of, though, is the fact that Desmond is still one sexy Scotsman.)
I wasn’t too happy to see that Widmore and Desmond are so chummy, even if I did get a little dose of George Minkowski to calm my anger. Seeing Desmond in the role of Widmore lackey was sort of predictable, as he had applied for a job with him previously and the sideways flashes appear to offer a variation on history that could have been. What was depressing about it was that Desmond appeared a shell of a man. He had the hot exterior, but didn’t have any heart. This was something Charlie recognized immediately. He could tell that Desmond was a man lacking fulfillment and devoid of real purpose.
The interplay between Charlie and Desmond was entertaining and revealing. This was particularly surprising considering my genuine hatred for Charlie during most of his time on the island. He was an annoying sod who basically just whined on and on about “Claire’s baby” and suffered from withdrawal. Apparently he was redeemed in death, and has been pretty cool ever since. Probably shouldn’t have been surprised by his recent awesomeness, since during a brief cameo with Hurley in season five he showed glimmers of the brilliance he exuded tonight.
When Desmond and Charlie are in the bar Desmond waxes about Charlie’s choices. “There’s always a choice, brother,” says Desmond, who never actually seems to have a choice. His speech actually reminded me of the Man in Locke (MiL), who has advocated freedom of choice.
Charlie rejects the options proposed by Desmond on the basis that they’re meaningless propositions. “None of it’s real,” contends Charlie. (We’ll come back to this mantra in a bit.) He was so confident that it was all meaningless that he tries to kill himself in Desmond’s car, and ends up recreating the scene from his death on the island. This sparks the first of a series of flashes for Desmond where he is reminded of his normal life experiences. During all of this it is unclear whether Charlie had the same sense of déjà vu that Desmond clearly experienced, but I’m inclined to believe he did.
My hunch is derived from Charlie’s ruminations in the hospital, when he reveals to Desmond that he was trying to show him “something.” He is confident that Desmond saw something and “felt it,” which is all that really matters according to Charlie. Because nothing matters to Charlie in the aftermath of his near death experience that revealed to him a reality that made him content.
In the hospital we also get a run in with Dr. Jack, who looks quite grizzled (maybe that means something). Jack is intrigued by the discovery that three people from the plan are randomly meeting at his hospital. I think he’s right to question this coincidence, because it feels like something is pushing our heroes together in their sideways journey.
Desmond leaves the hospital with an inkling about his fate with Penny, but lacks any real direction as he goes to meet Mrs. Widmore and break the bad news to her that Driveshaft won’t be reuniting for her charity event. Mrs. Widmore, who we know as Eloise Hawking, doesn’t appear too bothered about this news, which she takes in perfect stride. It’s almost as if she knew it would happen or that she knew that fate was keeping Driveshaft apart and she knew that you don’t mess with fate. Because fate always finds a way… “What happened, happened,” exclaims a nonchalant Eloise.
But her relaxed attitude disappears when she hears Desmond looking into some hussy named Penny. She warns him to stop, as he is committing “a violation.” She lambasts him for trying to upset his “perfect life.” Eloise even goes all Dr. Phil on Desmond’s ass and tells him he’s already got what he really wants, which is Charles Widmore’s approval. (How does she know this? Because she bloody well does. She knows everything!)
This conversation sparks the interest of Daniel Widmore, aka Daniel Faraday, aka Dr. Strangelove, who pontificates about love at first sight with Desmond. These two kindred spirits bonded over their self-awareness, with Dan revealing that his sighting of Charlotte felt “like [he] already loved her.” This reveal serves as the first confirmation, aside from the double takes we’ve seen, that our heroes are in their flashsideways with some hidden knowledge and sense of a previous life.
Dan takes this even further, suggesting “What if this wasn’t supposed to be our life” and that “we changed things.” How could this happen? Well, Dan the music man thinks it is because he blew up a nuclear bomb.
All of this will come into play later in the show, and I look forward to further explanation, but it was the next knowledge bomb that Dan dropped that had immediate meaning. Penny is his half-sister and he can get Desmond to her.
Finally, the reunion I’ve wanted! I love Desmond and Penny together. Sure, Jin and Sun are great, but at this point I wish they would just start dating other people. I’m looking at you Frank Lapidus and Zoey. And yeah, Juliet and Sawyer are sweet together, but those two were designed to be single and ready to mingle. It’s Desmond and Penny that the fans swoon for. They’re great together. They have a genuine rapport that leaps off the television. (Sonya Walger (Penny) needs to leave FLASHFORWARD immediately and become a regular on LOST. While we’re at it, let’s grab Dominic (Charlie) too.)
Desmond ‘s consciousness breaks from his sideways story when he shakes hands with his Penny. He wakes up on the island, now a willing participant in Widmore’s plan. This is a little shocking, considering Desmond had rejected Widmore’s contention that Desmond still had work to do. I’m not sure why he is willing to go along, except that it might have something to do with fate and his belief in fate.
At the same time, I think he might not give a damn about what’s going on at the island. I found it really strange how they switched back to the sideways story after Desmond agrees to follow Sayid. This technique has marked all the other transitions, but not his. I think the alteration within the episode represents that Desmond is fully conscious of his island life in the flashsideways. I think he wants the passenger list because he knows he’ll recognize almost every name on it.
And now let’s rewind a bit. Let’s go back to season three, in an episode titled FLASHES BEFORE YOUR EYES. This episode presented Desmond’s fate in the aftermath of the Hatch exploding and gave us a peek at what I contend was the first flashsideways. (I first posited this idea in my SUBSTITUTE summary: http://bit.ly/b16rWB )
In that experience Desmond is keenly aware that he lived on the island. It manifests itself in little ticks and signs at first, much like the double takes we’ve seen in the flashsideways and his recognition of “the button” during his MRI.
Both his recent sideways adventure and his experience in season three were the product of an EMF. Most likely all the flashes have been the product of EMF explosions, whether the hatch exploding, the incident or the recent one sparked by Widmore’s crew. I don’t know what any of this means, but I think it’s all related, especially based on Eloise’s actions in Desmonds flashes. Both times she has warned him to follow a certain path. She says things have to be one way and that’s it.
In the recent episode she reminded me of the kid who scolds MiL. She basically accuses Desmond of breaking the rules with his violation, which is akin to the mysterious kid laying down guidelines for MiL. I think she may have a larger role in this then we might think. She appears omnipotent, almost on par with Jacob. Here’s a crazy idea, maybe she’s Jacob’s mom. Maybe she’s the crazy mom of the Man in Black? I know that’s nuts, but I wouldn’t just write the idea off as nonsense.
It seems like the sideways stories have a purpose. The way Eloise talks about Desmond’s fate makes me think that these stories are preparation for some big challenge to come.
Before my head explodes, here are some random thoughts:
• I thought Desmond’s Hannibal Lecter moment in the MRI machine was funny
• Why do Dan, Eloise and Charles all have different names in island reality? We’ve got Faraday, Hawking and Widmore. I get Hawking and Widmore, but where did Faraday come from????
• Charlotte loves her chocolate.
• Charlie also appears in Desmond’s experiences in FLASHES BEFORE YOUR EYES. Remember, he’s singing Wonderwall?(Video link: http://bit.ly/YJQFX) THAT WAS TOTALLY A FLASHSIDEWAYS! I WILL BE VINDICATED!!!!

(Yeah, i understand that Desmond's life in FLASHES BEFORE YOUR EYES was his old life and not some variation. I don't care. IT's important. Maybe. I hope.)

Don't MAKE them like they used to...

I want to begin my critique of the recently completed debut season of HOW TO MAKE IT IN AMERICA by talking about its forerunner, ENTOURAGE.
ENTOURAGE was originally the greatest bromance show on television. It was fresh each week, laugh out loud funny and accessible. We road the highs and lows with Vince and the gang, as we tasted a bit of success after a tumultuous journey.
Slowly, almost imperceptibly, the show abandon this formula and it became about Vince banging models, the gang engaging in unbelievable antics and everything miraculously coming together. Now it feels tired and boring, except for the home life of Ari Gold, which is fantastic and alone makes the show watchable.
It's not that I couldn't watch the boys enjoy the good life and their success. The problem stemmed from the fact the show abandoned its roots, in terms of witty banter, some sense of reality and captivating journeys. What we got instead were lame pop culture reference, flights of fantasy that are a stretch even in Hollywood and diverging stories that make ENTOURAGE ripe for spin offs, but make the show lack any focus as it spins off into a discombobulated mess.
HOW TO is cut from the same cloth of ENTOURAGE, in that they both were spearheaded by Mark Wahlberg and follow the struggle of good looking people living a good looking life. HOW TO is essentially the flashsideways (to borrow a phrase from LOST) prequel to ENTOUAGE, when Vince and the boys were back in NYC with talent and a dream to make it big as they hustled around trying to make success.
Except that's not what the show is at all. That would actually be a good show. I'd enjoy the gang in the rich atmosphere of NYC trying to eek out a life. Instead we get coincidental serendipity of ENTOURAGE, diverging stories that are crafted into a MAJOR A and B plots with a minor C story and unoriginal dialogue. Now let's take these things down one by one.
1. We have no money? I sold some skateboards and ran into a long lost friend. You hate my pants? You love my shirt! We have no fabric? You have a secret stash! We lost our truck! We found our truck!
Now I can appreciate a realistic progression of events. I understand that you go from point A to point B and so on, but you don't get there by pure coincidence. Ok, maybe you can luck your way once, but sooner or later things don't always work out. It feels like every week HOW TO creates some sort of conflict that is characterized as epic, but it ultimately circumnavigated around or is easily conquered.
Our heroes should be forced to get creative to find solutions. Ben and Cam should fail once in a while, even if it is an 8 episode season and things need to move fast.
In life when you go back one step you don't always move two steps forward immediately after. Some times you toil in failure for a little while.
Some people might argue that Ben and Cam make their own luck, which is true to a point. And yes, hard work and gumption has allowed them to get their foot in the door. Luckily, though, that foot is in the writer's room, who end up cooking up hair brained schemes that usually rely on the kindness of strangers for advancement.
A great thing about ENTOURAGE is when Medellion bombed. Vince was on the outs for a little while, with his future in doubt. Granted, they made too big of a deal about his predicament, but he was faced with an obstacle that he gradually climbed over. On HOW TO, the characters would be granted a free pass on any challenges.
I could go on an on about the convenient way things happen, but it's no use. You either agree with me or don't have a problem with the way things go down.
2. What I'm referring to about the plot lines is how formulaic it feels. I can imagine the writers each week trying to find something big for Ben, while deciding which characters will be involved in the B story and who will be relegated to scraps in C.
If the show really wants to be an ensemble it needs to either level the playing field or commit to Ben as the star and just let everything else fit in where they may. (The former is LOST and the latter is old SCRUBS.) The way it is now, we get lost on what the show is about. Is it really about people going after the American dream or is it Ben's American dream? Either one is fine, but they need to commit to an idea and stick with it.
3. So the writing on the show is boring. It tries so hard to be hip and relevant that at points it becomes all about being hip and relevant, regardless of the character.
SO that's what i really don't like about the show, but I do come back each week and here's why...
Luis Guzman: Years ago I put together a list of underrated actors (included Clive Owen at the time), and Guzman appeared on that list. In HOW TO he plays a parolee who is trying to go legit as a energy drink distributor. But even while he plays office CEO he's still in touch with the streets he came up on, to the point where he basically recreates a fight from high school on a playground.
In the role Guzman is charming, a little scary and enchanting. With his eyes set deep back in his face you are forced to take all of him in as you watch his complicated performance.
His shining moment came when he brought his parole officer to a business meeting. It was funny and creative, in keeping with the best parts of ENTOURAGE. Speaking of ENTOURAGE, Guzman is sort of being pigeon holed as the Ari Gold character. He doesn't scream and yell, but he's the big name who appears to be transitioning into the other major player opposite Ben. This was a good move for ENTOURAGE, and i think it could work for HOW TO, if they can commit to the myriad of perspectives approach.
This approach would mean incorporating more of Shannyn Sossamon, and her character Gingy. Gingy is the rich girl who is trying to make it on her own, which is an interesting perspective. Mainly, though, I'm in love with Sossamon and just want to see more of her.
The same can not be said for Lake Bell and her character Rachel, who is Ben's ex. She is the character who seems poised to rise through the ranks of her institution, which is design. Unfortunately she's unhappy with her life, even though it seems perfect on the surface. During this year we've had it slammed in our face how you can't judge a book by its cover, with Rachel eventually throwing her whole life away to go travel.
All of it seems so clichéd and like i'm being force fed a lesson about what's really important in life. Bell, who actually grew on me during the last episode, is tragically being misused. Now that she's settled into the friend zone with Ben they need to bring her into his flock so they can go on adventures together. Hopefully this would minimize the terrible effects of Cam, who i simply can't stand.
It really is problematic how much I hate Cam (Victor Rasuk), as he is basically the second male lead on the show. He's so unlikable that i was rooting for his uncle (Guzman) to kill him off before the season one finale. Basically, just imagine a fun kid from high school who was involved in everything. Now imagine he wasn't fun, he wouldn't shut up and he may have been retarded. That's Cam.
Rasuk's presence as Cam commits a more heinous crime than wasting my time. His real crime is denying Kid Cudi a chance to shine as Domingo. THis is another member of Ben's crew who appears in very limited scenes. He actually seems grounded in reality and is extremely likable. He needs to get more face time, and i don't care how it happens. Maybe he speaks fluent Japanese and Ben brings him to translate a deal. Whatever. Just make it happen.
While I'm at it, I guess i'll just do some more tinkering with the show. I want to create a foursome like ENTOURAGE, which will include Ben (designer), Cam (annoying and terrible hustler), Domingo (x-factor) and Dave "Kappo" (finances). This four could be entertaining if thrown into a big pot and allowed to simmer with all the flavors intermingling. I can taste it now. Yum.
Sure, that makes Gingy into a secondary character, which i protested against originally, but that's only based on the current format. In my idea she could be like Shauna on ENTOURAGE.
(Editor's Note: Dave would basically like to create a series of ENTOURAGE spinoffs akin to the CSI franchise. HOW TO would be the NYC version. There would be a drug dealer one in Miami and a group of farmers in Iowa. Rick Gonzalez would do the drug one, since Dave is all about stereotypes, and Bret harrison would be the farmer.)
I left the ex off the show because she'll just come back as a recurring character to stir up trouble in season three when she returns from her trip around the world.
At this point I'm hooked on the show because it's not bad enough for me not to finish it, but I wouldn't recommend starting the show. If season two demonstrates some improvement, then I'll recommend it.

Lisa P rides again!

For some reason I really enjoyed the character name, Lisa P in Adventureland. It struck me as genuine and for that reason made the film more approachable. Additionally, she was a ridiculous caricature and was hot. These three factors made me a fan, and that's why i'm happy to report I've seen her again!
Ok, well not her, but Margarita Levieva, the actress who played Lisa P, appeared in a recent episode of HOW TO MAKE IT IN AMERICA and may have a few more episodes in her arc.
Didn't recognize her at all during her latest exposure, and it was only through imdb that i was able to make the connection. Imdb also informed me that she was a member of some Russian olympic team and is thirty years old. Thanks friend!
Finally, Lisa P still looks good. Totally different look, but makes it work.

American Idol in 12 minutes

I have watched one season of American Idol in my life. It was the year John Stevens was participating, and Fantasia won.
Yet while I've never sat through another season or watched an episode from another season, I do follow the show to a certain extent and I'm aware of the show's history. Off the top of my head I can name these winners: Kelly Clarkson, Carrie Underwood, Reuben Studdard, Fantasia, Taylor hicks, David Cook and Kris Allen.
(Editor's Note: David forgot the immortal Jordin Sparks.)
In recent months I've been getting my news about American Idol (AI) from Tony Kornheiser's radio show. His coverage is generally pretty brief and narrow in scope, as he usually doesn't watch entire episodes. (The show ends after his bedtime.)
From this exposure I've gleaned that Crystal is good and everyone else sucks. It wasn't until i did more digging that i realized how true that statement is. Crystal is really talented and I could imagine buying her record. The rest of the crew should be off doing Karaoke in bars.
But I'm not going to talk about AI right now. What I want to talk about is the new way i ingest AI, which is through a feature of Entertainment Weekly called "IDOLATRY." IDOLATRY is a video presentation by two EW staff writers that runs under the special cover of AI that the magazine provides online. It is simply amazing.
The commentary features Annie Barrett and Michael Slezak, who offer the everyman's rational opinion interspersed with humorous videos. The writers are very snarky and have a good grip on what is good music and good television.
I also like that they provide all the relevant video from the actual show. I see the meaningful song moments, critiques and additional footage that allows me to get the gist of the show and form an opinion.
Right now I'm going to sit down and watch an old IDOLATRY episode from 2009. Here's the link: http://www.ew.com/ew/video/0,,20312226_20312230,00.html?bcpid=75296530001&bclid=60711674001&bctid=74356311001 .