What I'm Watching? Generation Kill

For at least the next week I'll be watching HBO's Generation Kill. This show was the product of The Wire creators Ed Burns and David Simon. The story comes from Evan Wright, whose book was the inspiration for the series.
I've already seen the series a couple times, but in the wake of Stephen Colbert's trip to Iraq I thought that now would be a good time to rekindle my relationship with the Iraq war. Lately the Iraq war has escaped our collective attention, and watching Generation Kill provides a window into the mess we got ourselves into.
Watching Generation Kill is not nearly as challenging as The Wire. The pacing is much faster and the action is constant. In many ways it is the same show, though, just in a different setting. Many of the characters are indistinguishable. It speaks about failed bureaucracies. The dialogue is sometimes incomprehensible. The story is very depressing.
Anyway, if you've got a stomach for a drama that speaks about a part of American life people choose to ignore or choose to misinterpret, then this is the show for you. It's entertaining, as it is well written and superbly acted.
I think I tune in (again and again) because the story is interesting and I find the whole thing funny. A deep, dark humor akin to Dr. Strangelove. Except this is very real, which also makes it very sad and makes me a little bit twisted for watching it again and again.
If you've got HBO On Demand, you should watch this if you've got the time. Unfortunately, though, you'll need to allot time for all seven episodes because you'll be hooked if you start.

How USA Network Found its Groove

(A version of this column might run in The Scene)
On June 5th the USA network debuted its new dramedy Royal Pains, as part of the network’s quest to offer the hippest fare on television.
Genre specific channels aren’t new, with some conceived for the sole purpose of covering food, classic movies or Jon and Kate. Yet now channels like TBS, TNT and USA, which were once resigned to reruns and B grade movies, have begun crafting their own identities. TBS is the comedy outlet, serving as the refuge for all things Tyler Perry, home to My Boys, and recently tried (but failed) to get new episodes of My Name Is Earl. TNT went a different route, to the point where they confidently claim to “know drama” and have learned that female driven dramas need a home too.
In the summer of 2002 USA premiered Monk, which represented a renewed attempt at credibility in original content in the wake of shows like Pacific Blue. Monk was worthy of a major network in terms of star power, with lead Tony Shalhoub, but was too quirky to generate mainstream appeal.
But they weren’t all hits like Monk, and USA struggled to repeat its success. They developed sci-fi shows like The 4400, which was either before its time or too late depending on your point of view, and The Dead Zone, which had an unremarkable run.

The channel abandoned the eclectic route in 2006 and rekindled the magic of Monk by essentially copying it with Psych. Psych was a light romp that made for easy viewing, but more significantly made positive headway with the coveted younger viewers (you know, the ones with all that disposable income because their parents still pay for everything).
Seizing on the momentum from Psych they attempted to champion the youth market, and this led to Burn Notice. The splashy action drama had laughs, sex appeal, and a hip ( an imperative) star that guys wanted to emulate, to the point where my roommate
developed an uncomfortable man crush.
Embracing a female hipster USA premiered In Plain Sight one year later in 2008. This show followed the same formula, inserting a comical side kick, sexual tension, and an awkward level of sincerity that dooms USA dramas like Monk and Burn Notice.
Now Royal Pains is poised to be the next hit for USA, as the show learned the recipe for success. In fact, it is eerily similar to its lead in, Burn Notice, with the most visible similarity being both casts’ affinity for sunglasses. Sunglasses, though, are just part of a tired formula that’s used to distract and dazzle viewers, which includes bright colored shirts, a constant narration of events, and tons of superfluous shots of scantily clad women to offer a pseudo taste of risqué cable behavior.
If it sounds like I’m fed up with these shows it’s because I stopped swallowing them a long time ago and am still trying to get the taste out of my mouth. Psych is the only show worth watching since it doesn’t strive to be something it’s not. In Plain Sight, Burn Notice, and now Royal Pains would be fine if they didn’t pretend to be serious shows with deep undertones, as illustrated by the constant harping about America’s failed healthcare system on Royal Pains
The morality lectures asides and withholding judgment on the love story, Royal Pains is a watchable show. Lead Mark Feuerstein is charming enough, and while there are no man crushes yet, there’s still time. Comedic sidekick Paulo Costanzo is the saving grace of the show, although his relentless banter may start to annoy soon.
Assembly line produced shows aren’t necessarily a bad thing, especially if you find a successful model, but now the product is getting old and USA network needs to revitalize itself before it falls into a rut, because television stations don’t get federal bailouts.

Burn Notice airs Thursdays at 9 pm and at 10 pm is Royal Pains, but you’re better off watching Alias and House on DVD.

Kaitlin's endeavor is in jeopardy

Alex: Paris Hilton has just confirmed that TTYN is talk to you never. I’m just a little confused as to why it took four episodes to share this fun fact.
Dave: This show requires a certain level of thought. They’re not just going to spell it out for you. It’s a think piece.

Dave: So on facebook, Kaitlin has been advertising events that she’s cohosting with Stephen.
Alex: Huh.
Dave: Weren’t they enemies like one episode ago?
Alex: Yeah, because of the hot tub incident. Makes you question the sincerity of all this.
Dave: I don’t know what to believe in anymore.
Dave: I’m definitely rooting for Stefanie. I have a huge crush on her. Just because she thinks that Paris is literally in the oven doesn’t make me think any less of her.
Alex: This show is a slap in the face to anyone who is currently a friend of Paris. It basically says that they’re not good enough to be bff, and Paris has had to go searching for a new friend.
Dave: So this high class chef doesn’t actually know what an amuse-bouche is, because it’s actually a one bite appetizer. Apparently this guy never watched Top Chef, since that’s how I learned it. Pretty angry about this right now.
Dave: Just because Stefanie is struggling with snails doesn’t mean I think any less of her.
Alex: If he gives Stefanie the pet thing he’s retarded. Everyone else just ate the snails without a fuss, and she gets rewarded for supposedly overcoming her fears. This is just like when Tinicia was chosen as the pet for throwing up. The lack of logic on this show is hurting my brain, which is compounded by the fact I’m still baffled that Onch is a guy!
Dave: Paris puts a lot of emphasis on what animals think. First the lion, and now her dog.
Dave: WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO IMPRESS PARIS WITH SOMETHING YOU”VE NEVER COOKED BEFORE!!!
Dave: I think this whole thing was staged by the producers. I bet they thought it would make compelling television to have the girls and Stephen remove giblets from a duck.
Dave: I hope Stephen doesn’t jump the new guys. There’s no way these are real competitors. I refuse to believe this. They’re just going to cause problems.
Alex: Desirae’s stock is rising. Her analysis of the situation is akin to Walter Kronkite breaking down the Vietnam war.
Dave: The mack? The shots of Stephen in the background are great.
Alex: That guy is a question talker. Am I here to cause problems? Will I be on I Love New York 6?
Dave: Stephen wears a surprisingly large amount of makeup.
Dave: So Paris and Doug aren’t together anymore… Why did they let a rat on the table???
Alex: I thought you weren’t supposed to give dogs sugar? Stefanie is going to kill her dog.
Dave: Paris doesn’t like cold food? Oh really Doug, does she not like ice cream???
Alex: Who is going to get blamed for this train wreck of a meal? I feel like we should have gotten a longer glimpse of the cooking process.
Alex: Stephen has gaydar.
Dave: Doug is asking some very poignant questions.
Alex: Chris is getting loaded questions. It’s like Paris is gunning for him. I don’t like his chances.
Dave: If Paris went through their “personal” files, does she know that Kaitlin’s boyfriend is a reality tv actor? I feel like that wouldn’t play well. Although, that assumes any of this is real, which I’m starting to doubt.
Dave: I believe Tinicia has confused maneater, with some degree of escort. Not because she worked at Hooters, but because she said “they wanted to spend time with me, and I just basically put it out there for them.”
Alex: I feel like Kaitlin is lying about her answer.
Dave: I like how she thinks everyone else got questions that highlighted their positive qualities. It’s almost as if she’s paranoid and delusional. Although, I hope this doesn’t come back to bite her in the butt. I can’t watch this if she’s off.
Alex: Oh god, Stefanie. Does this have something to do with her father or something? I feel like this was brought up earlier.
Dave: I’m just waiting for someone to turn the tables and ask Paris questions, maybe Chris, since that’s how he talks. Have you released a sex tape? Have you gotten a dui? Have you gotten another dui?
Alex: Based on the preview I think Kaitlin is going up for discussion.
Dave: I liked her straight hair in the preview.
Alex: I think Chris “The Birdman” Anderson is going to be on the Real World Cancun. Maybe that’s what he did when he was suspended from the NBA.
Dave: I happy that Elena called Stefanie out on her crap. I can’t believe I’m saying this about my favorite contestant. I’m 100% sure Stephen will be one of the last five.
Alex: She was a poor tom boy? Tragic. Stephen was a gay mormon.
Dave: Why will anyone be put up for discussion?
Alex: Maybe Kaitlin, because it seems like she lied. Maybe Chris, because he seems fake?
Alex: Kaitlin is going home.
Dave: No way.
Chris: Am I safe from elimination? I hope so, I just got here.
Alex; Question talker! Am I scared about elimination? Absolutely. Do I think I’ll be going home? I don’t think so.
Dave: I wonder if we could just ask questions? DO you want to try?
Alex: What?
Dave: I feel like the three people up for discussion doesn’t mean anything. In fact, I feel like she’s going to randomly throw someone out, who thinks they’re safe.
Chris: Who do I think is the hottest? Stephen.
Alex: David’ s beat-boxing was lame.
Dave; I hope Kaitlin is confronted by someone from Saratoga! Who do you hope it is?
Alex: I can’t remember anyone from that grade except Kathleen Sullivan.
Alex: How does a girl that hated her equate to a friend???
Dave; Yeah, I think Kaitlin is in the clear on this one. If she gets kicked out now I’ll be pissed. I guess even the paranoid and delusional can be right occasionally.
Alex: Yeah, I don’t think she did anything wrong.
Dave: I’m surprised that Kaitlin didn’t see this one coming based on earlier interviews. Ugh! People are twisting the question. I feel really bad for Kaitlin, because she’s getting railroaded.
(Joe, my brother, enters and learns about what is going on)
Joe: That’s just bad television.
Dave: Tinicia is very angry. She definitely has some issues.
Alex: KAITLIN DIDN”T LIE!!!
Dave; And it all comes down to the animal. At least it’s not arbitrary.
Joe; These people are your age. I find that hilarious.
Dave: I think only one person is going home, and based on how Kaitlin was smiling in the last confessional makes me think she’s not going home.
Joe; I think hooking up with an enemy’s boyfriend won’t be a big deal to Paris. That seems right up her alley. Has she done this already? Can we find this out somehow?
Dave: Wasn’t Paris feuding with um, Shannon Doherty? (Did a little research and here’s the scoop http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/3-19-2003-37604.asp)
Alex: Tinkerbell must be sweating balls in that sweater.
Dave: Now everything in Paris’s life makes sense. She’s been having a dog make her life choices. I thought they’d let Tinkerbell run to a person.
Alex: yeah, put them in a triangle and throw Tinkerbell in the middle. Whoever she goes to is obviously a good seed and the other two need to hit the road.
Dave: Or, the person she chooses is the one that needs to go home. That’s why I let cats make all my decisions. They’re much more deliberate and with less ambiguity.
Dave: Bye Chris! Or should I say, did Tinkerbell really hate Chris????? Yes.
Dave; A concern, yes, but she has time to fix it. Kaitlin is definitely safe.
Chris: Did I think the dog would growl at me? No. Am I surprised growled? Of course.
Joe: What are you doing?
Alex: The guy is a question talker.
Joe: What?
Dave: exactly.
Chris: Will I be back? Who knows? Is it possible?
Alex: Kaitlin needs to stick to her guns.
Joe: I hope this doesn’t stir up any Saratoga drama.
Dave: Are they really going to make light of the time Paris spent in jail??? UGH
Alex: So Stefanie being the pet meant nothing.
Dave: You’re surprised by this?
Alex: I don’t know? At least the other two pets got one on one time.
Dave: Your thoughts? Not a great episode.
Alex: Nah.

High School Reunion on Caroline Street

(A version of this column ran in The Saratogian's "The Scene)
Friday May 22nd marked the first weeknight that the college graduates of 2009 were home en masse. Turnout on Caroline street was respectable, with forty or fifty familiar faces popping up throughout the night, as the bars along this beaten path unknowingly played host to the biggest social event of the summer, until the next weekend.

We peppered our peers with questions about their future and received our own stumpers regarding summer plans. I kept explaining to people how I was settling in with my new roommates Barb and Jim, who not long ago had just been my parents.
The prevailing theme was that we were all strapped for cash and not anxious to enter the “real world,” where we couldn’t waste our money on liquid social lubricants. Yet for that weekend, with the post-commencement glow outshining the job hunt gloom, we broke into our piggy banks and decided to worry about our ATM balances when we sobered up.
I wasn’t quite that cavalier about blowing my budget, but I did allocate $20 for my reunion in downtown Saratoga Springs.
Reunification began at the top of Caroline Street with the Tin’N’Lint, which is our inevitable starting point. The Tin’N’Lint, or TNL as it’s called, is popular amongst young drinkers because of its cheap drinks and environment, characterized by a tendency to use the pool table for flip cup and beer pong. Also, the music isn’t too loud and usually provokes a sing-a-long.
Arriving around midnight I bought a pitcher of Coors light for a reasonable nine dollars after a dollar tip, and with the extra cups I grabbed, to encourage expansion of our flock, we assembled around an undersized table. Our beers quickly made friends, as someone bought shots for our expanding circle. Standing upright provided us the mobility to dart across the room when we recognized a comrade we hadn’t seen since winter break.
After thirty minutes of this we commandeered a booth, which was a major coup since it offered a comfortable refuge for us to enjoy the second pitcher we bought through pooling our money, which included my dollar contribution. Having a booth at the TNL is like a king holding court, with passerby making obligatory stops to engage in conversation, and this engendered a lot of socializing.
In the final hour at the TNL drinks miraculously appeared in my cup, I took advantage of the comparatively clean bathroom, and our immediate group dwindled to just my best friend Alex and me, which was our sign to leave.
We headed to Gaffney’s, which I’m not fond of unless the patio is open with live music playing, and even then it’s extremely crowded and hard to hear yourself think. But my cohorts always end up there so we made the necessary pilgrimage.
Upon entering we received complimentary sips of a Long Island Ice Tea from a friend. After that I nudged my way to the bar where I got two Coors light for eight dollars after a dollar tip, and then we fought our way through traffic to the porch. There we settled at a table with former classmates and debated the merits of Gaffney’s, concluding only that they run out of pitchers too fast. Forty minutes later, after one friend was tossed out for throwing a drink and another blew my mind with his comprehensive life plan, we headed across the street to the City Tavern.
Alex and I had no intention of buying drinks, and headed straight for the stairs that led to the roof, which provides a view of the city that serves as a perfect culmination to any night. We took in the sights with friends who were lamenting their decision to purchase a “rum and coke [that] was not worth the money.”
With two dollars left our journey took us to D’Andrea’s Pizza to ease my hunger pains, since earlier we were counseled against Esperantos on the basis that it probably wouldn’t fit my budget (a fact I later refuted). With the purchase of a slice at D’Andrea’s my funds were exhausted and my stomached rumblings quieted.
All in all I’d deem the night a success, as I stuck to my budget, mingled with plenty of people, and never suffered from a parched mouth.
Caroline Street was the perfect venue for a pseudo reunion, as it was more inviting and exciting than our High School gymnasium will probably be when I have to organize an official reunion as class president.

Truthfully it's Bloody Brilliant

(Spoiler Alert)
Well i officially love True Blood. I finally watched the second episode of season two and now I feel prepared to assess this season. For people who don't know the show, though, i'll begin with my thoughts on season one.
Season one was all over the place in my opinion. I loved the show. I hated the show. I didn't care about the show. I needed the show. The finale left me satisfied and wanting more, but wandering why...
Before the start of this season I rewatched most of season one to reassess how I felt about the show and hopefully draw some straightforward opinions. Well, I definitely gained further clarity about the show and my opinions, but I was still a little lost in my own opinions.
True Blood is essentially a soap opera drama like Alan Ball's previous show, Six Feet Under. While on the surface it seems like typical vampire fodder, with my mom immediately writing off the show after seeing a particularly gory scene from an episode, but those people are failing to see beyond the outer layer. It's essentially a drama, which just happens to have vampires in it.
My problem with season one, in retrospect, was that it was too much just a family drama. I needed that extra twist, that running theme to hold my interest, and I felt that the glue holding the show together was too weak. There wasn't enough about the vampires and the killer story angle wasn't that compelling. Maybe that sounds like I'm negating what i said early about how the vampire aspect doesn't matter, and it doesn't if you can appreciate a quality drama, but for my money i want the mythology. I find it all fascinating. The other stuff, eh. I've seen it before.
So from season one i concluded that I hate the character Tara. She is the star's, Sookie Stackhouse (Anna Paquin), best friend and is probably the most annoying character ever on television. Her annoyingness exists on two levels, with the most obvious being her voice. The second level primarily revolves around all the annoying things she does and the constant complaining, which is made so much worse by her voice.
The star of the show, Sookie, is tolerable. Her aww shucks charm isn't that potent, but the character as portrayed by Paquin is just so innocent, almost annoyingly so, that I want to root for her.
My favorite characters are Sookie's love interest, Vampire Bill, and Tara's cousin Lafayette.
Vampire Bill, or Bill Compton as he's actually called, is a vampire that wanders into the bar where Sookie works, which leads to all of season one's actions. Of all the gin joints in the world....
Bill is a charming character, and as played by Stephen Moyer, is eerily similar to what a civil war vampire would look like (or does look like...). His character unfolds in a very appealing way throughout the season, and the process is very rewarding.
Lafayette is hard to pin down. He's a short order cook. A drug dealer. A DPW worker. A hooker. A good friend. Super gay. The moral compass of the show. His character is complicated, interesting, funny, and based on creator Ball's decision to deviate from the books by saving Lafayette's life (should have said spoiler alert there) in the season two premiere, a fan favorite.
Anyway, I finished season one and was excited for more. Season one ends with a cliff hanger that sets the bar pretty high for season two.
Season two then jumps head first off that cliff with reckless abandonment. The show feels like it's going in a completely different direction, as it now seems interested in exploring the mythology of it all, which gets my inner geekiness very excited.
Not only that, the relationships are a little more interesting, as we're able to see how a new vampire, who was recently a teenage girl, gets to play off other characters. This development is especially interesting and entertaining, but it has the potential to be very dangerous on the show.
The show has also introduced a new mystery, which is basically ignored in the second episode.
My thoughts are a little, well very disjointed right now, but as the season goes on hopefully i'll have more coherent ramblings. If not, then i implore you to find someone who is paid for their work and might care to present their work in an entertaining and sensible manner. Until then, let me recommend you catch up on True Blood.

Shutter Island Trailer

About two years ago I did a review of Dennis Lehane's novel Shutter Island. A better blogger than I would go back and look up what he wrote about the book then, but i'm not that good and now all you'll get is that the book put a serious hurt on my brain. There were tons of twists and turns. Afterward I wasn't 100% sure I knew what was going on.
Well in the aftermath of that I learned that they were making the book into the movie. I finally saw the trailer for the movie, and boy am i excited!
The movie is from Martin Scorsese and stars Leo DiCaprio among other big names. Marty and Leo is always a big hit (The Aviator, The Departed)so it seems a sure bet that this collaboration will be a winner.
You can see the trailer here http://www.imdb.com/video/imdb/vi3052536345/.
The movie looks true to the book, in that I can't make heads or tail of it, but I'm excited!

True Blood and Top Chef reviews coming soon

Stay tuned for reviews of True Blood and Top Chef Masters in the next few days. I want to see two episodes before i form a conclusive opinion, but as of now I'd recommend both.
True Blood seems as ridiculous as ever and this version of Top Chef seems to have enough of the flavor from the original with a twist that it's worth watching.
More to come...

Kaitlin cruises in her quest for Parisian affection

Dave: So it’s been confirmed that ttyn is talk to you never. Your thoughts? Are you satisfied with that send off? I know it’s no, you’re fired or the tribe has spoken.
Alex: Or good night and good luck. I question the credibility of the statement, because she might talk to the final five again. Like the Asian girl that’s her assistant. Did she say that to her in a previous season? If so, Paris is a liar.
Dave: Among other things. And here we go…
Alex: Shouldn’t you try to hit curve balls? If you’re going to use a baseball metaphor, you should make it work. You dodge dodgeballs!
Dave: If you can dodge a curveball, you can dodge a dodgeball.
Dave: Keep Kristen away from the giant cupcake!
Alex: The room is all white. Like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Cross-product endorsement.
Dave: I love that Nicole is saying what we’re all thinking. Except she’s wrong to a degree, because Paris did hang with Nicole Richie.
Dave: Like actual eggs? Because if there’s eggs, and they dive in they’re going to get broken. I would want a giant knife to cut the cupcake open with.
Alex: Kristen, you don’t have to eat your way to the center of the cupcake!
Alex: Kaitlin coming through in the clutch! Can one person get more than one egg?
Dave: I like that one girl had a strategy, and it paid off.
Alex; I can’t see where the walls begin and the floor ends. This room is tripping me out.
Dave: What’s an onch dance?
Alex; I guess that’s an onch. Yikes.
Dave: HE! Onch is a guy!?!? Oh the twists and turns.
Dave: Mad drama, yo.
Dave: I think that girl is a racist for thinking Desire will fight her. Although, I’m 100% sure Desire will drop her.
Dave: Stephen should be the narrator. Why is that girl crying after the fact? There’s no reason for Katie to be crying in the confessional booth.
Dave: Desi? Paris has a nickname for Desire. That seems like a good sign.
Alex: I think I smell an alliance brewing between Stephen and Katie. He’s definitely smart enough to arrange these girls like pawns on his chessboard.
Dave: I’ll be disappointed if I find out that Stephen doesn’t create his own lines. If he is getting fed lines in the confessional I don’t know what to believe in.
Alex: I don’t think I’ve seen any of these shows being advertised during the commercials. What’s going to be on TRL tomorrow! That’s what I want to know!
Dave: Is Katie going to get blamed for these terrible outfits?
Alex: I think this will come back to bite her in the butt, which is very accessible in a tutu. See, she’s already been put in her place.

Dave: I’m glad Paris acknowledges that she’s shallow.
Alex: I’d like a makeover. Stephen and I are definitely on the same wavelength, except for maybe a few major life choices.
Alex: Stephen looks like a damn peacock.
Dave: So nothing will fit Kristen… I think this is when she finally gets sent home. I mean she can’t win, and this will give Paris a reason to get rid of her. Interested to see how she words her dismissal.
Dave: I like the edgy punk rock girl. She seems pretty cool, except for the fact that she’s on the show…
Dave: Kaitlin’s outfit is pretty cool. Pageant questions!
Dave: Was she kidding with that babies comment?
Alex; I don’t think so. Not just anyone goes to Oneonta.
Dave: I don’t think I know the answer to that question either.
Alex: Nor do I. I guess she was just using logic. I think it’s called a syllogism.
Dave: Desire with the misstep. Kristen has beautiful shoulders! How do u tell??
Dave: Stephen, yikes! He looks like the gay terminator.
Dave: Stephanie is great! Hot.
Alex: She should donate her kidney, because she has another one…
Dave; Give up your brain, because you won’t need it if you’re friends with Paris.
Dave: Tinicia needs to stop talking. She needs to abbreviate her answer. Paris liked it! I love it. They both speak retard.
Dave: Katie looks like a girl in a porn set in a circus or maybe at a rodeo. Yeah, definitely a rodeo, like maybe she takes on the blue prize winner.
Alex: Nicole is going up for discussion since she wore her lame prom dress. I like Kaitlin and Tinicia’s chances.
Dave; They’re definitely safe. I think Tinicia won.
Alex: Yeah, Kaitlin’s answer was a little weak.
Dave: I guess I would have said liquid Vaseline. That’s like the closest thing I can think of, but I don’t know what’s made of.
Alex: Do you think Kaitlin meant human babies? I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant a lower form of life.
Alex: Didn’t think Amanda would be the winner
Dave; Yeah, her outfit was cool and it matched, but she kind of looks like a man… Like, I think Stephen could have pulled it off.
Dave: Nicole and Kristen are up for discussion.
Alex; Definitely Nicole. If you can put a pet up for discussion than Katie is vulnerable because of her god awful outfit.
Dave: I called it. Kristen isn’t up because of her style choice, but because of her life choices, in terms of what she chose to eat over her life. There’s no way Desire goes home. If anything she’ll keep the drama in the house to spur interest.
Alex; Nicole is diving into the comfort food, aka Kristen’s normal dinner.
Dave: The song in the background comes out completely against the ideals of the show. It says fame and fortune isn’t everything. Some producer on the show must not understand irony or just really hate their job.
Dave: It’s definitely Kristen that says “F*%$ you” to Paris. I like that Katie is still vulnerable.
Alex: Yeah, Monica wasn’t up last week and she got sent home. I think they’re lulling us into a false sense of security so we’ll be shocked, shocked I say, when the tutu bandit is sent packing.
Dave: What inside stuff was there? It was all superficial.
Alex: You’re forgetting the question. Paris received great insight into Kaitlin with her baby oil question.
Alex: Take the bow off Katie! Paris doesn’t like it! And you’re still too fat Kristen.
Dave: Paris knows her Wizard of Oz. Or at least one of the writers does.
Dave: I think that’s a bad move by Kaitlin, to trash Nicole for last week’s stuff. It’s not relevant, or good strategy. Makes her seem petty, and basically the perfect contestant.
Dave: Boy, anyone could go now. But not Desire! Woohoo! Nicole gets to stay! Shocking!
Alex: Katie played it too safe as the pet, and it could bite her in the butt.
Dave: I would watch Real World Cancun if it was on Cinemax at 2 in the morning and my parents weren’t home.
Alex: Duel elimination. HA! Where did that come from?!?!
Dave: It was Katie!?!?! Who knew? I like these balls she was apparently hiding. Desire was basically a prophet.
Dave: Role model? How is Paris a role model?!?!? Ughhhhh. Professional athletes make better role models.
Dave: Definitely an enjoyable episode. Guess who’s coming to dinner next week? Really, they’re going to reference a ground breaking movie about race relations to promote their show? I feel sick.

Paris is keen on local girl. Episode 2

This is a late posting of my running diary from the second episode of Paris Hilton's search for a new best friend. Keeping me company is Alex Ventre, so he's half to blame for this idiotic diatribe that reflects the level of stupidity on this show. ENJOY!
Dave: So we’re still in the dark about her acronym?
Alex: TTYN? Yeah, we got nothing.
Dave: And we don’t know who or what that assistant thing is?
Alex: No.
Dave: Ok, then I guess I’m ready for the recap.
Dave: The tiger hated the hair? I like how she interpreted the tiger’s actions.
Dave: Kaitlin’s excited to see the new house! I’m excited too. Wait, not really…
Alex: Did that just say season 1 contestant? Seems like she was the real winner, and not the person Paris is feuding with now.
Dave: It seems like she gets along with this girl.
Alex: Yeah, and if she wasn’t 16 Paris could take her clubbing. She looks ready for a flood with those boots and a basketball game with those sweatbands.
Dave: I like the kitchen, although I feel like they won’t be doing a lot of cooking.
Alex: How am I older than these girls??
Dave: They’re going to get drunk…
Dave: This is the pinnacle of their lives??!?!?! Oh god. I feel like my value system is messed up.

Alex: That pink car is messed up.
Dave: There are themes to each week!!
Alex: I guess last week’s theme was Vegas.
Dave: If Paris had gone to college maybe she could have done the whole sorority thing.
Dave: I wonder what Kaitlin had to do for pledging? Maybe this is part of her pledging? Is her being on this show some cruel joke that her sisters made her do?? Is someone else from the sorority going to do flavor of love 3???
Alex: (Reaction to Monica) Yikes!
Dave: So Kaitlin’s a whipper snapper? A self-proclaimed leather dominatrix if I interpret her meaning?
Dave: Excited for the outfits?
Alex: Yeah. Leather doesn’t do anything for me though. I feel like leather would be too warm and constricting.
Dave: I don’t think Paris understands pledging.
Alex: That drink looks fantastic. This is child’s play compared to what (John) Noonan had to stomach (He basically drank a concoction of everything in my kitchen cabinet).
Dave: Caviar makes you poo?
Alex: Says her. I had it once. Didn’t have to poo.
Dave: She’s got us saying poo, though.
Dave: As long as they don’t add coffee grinds I’d be fine.
Dave: Lot of makeup.
Alex: Yeah, not a lot of natural beauties. I don’t think Paris would be called a classic beauty. She’s hot, which is basically a way of saying attractive based on a high level of slutiness.
Dave: This doesn’t seem like an equal friendship with Paris. It’s like you’re basically competing to be her bitch.
Kristen: I hyped myself up. Opened my mouth and just took the whole thing down.
Dave: She’s talking about the shot right. Zing.
Dave: BFF pet??? This show has so many turns I think I have whiplash.
Alex; She got rewarded for throwing up? That’s dumb
Dave: Apparently Kaitlin agrees with you. The thing is, Paris is obviously rewarding bulimia. She’s a spy!
Alex: A secret agent. Well, not exactly a secret.
Dave: I think Mark is the real secret agent. Bachelor party! Called it (It’s basically “The Hangover.”)
Alex: God Monica is terrifying.
Dave: There’s going to be a fight! Kaitlin will want to stay away from Kristen or she’ll sit on her.
Alex: Can your actions from previous episodes come back to haunt you? I mean if no one does anything wrong, then Stephen should be up for discussion again.
Dave: They’re not actually organizing the party, just getting sloppy and dancing?
Alex: What is Stephen going to do?
Dave: Stripper pole coming out. Stephen is going to be uncomfortable again… I like that Amanda has standards. She seems like the smart one.
Alex: Side boob action from Monica. Nice
Dave: The party seems kind of lame.
Alex: I don’t think Mark has any guy friends. Kaitlin is doing a body shot off of Mark!
Dave: She didn’t look like she liked it. Naval hair was probably floating in the liquor.
Alex: I think that was an olive, which would make sense if she asked for a martini.
Alex: Some girl tried to pick her up.
Dave; I’m honestly worried about Kaitlin’s safety.
Alex: I feel like this guy isn’t really getting married.

Dave: Do they not play beer pong at any point? Kaitlin is slurring! I love it! She’s being emotionally vulnerable and opening up. Compelling television, which is made so much better by the fact that everyone is in the hot tub.
Dave: Oh god. Kaitlin’s lost her mind… She’s going to stab someone…
Alex; Stephen thinks she’s bipolar.
Dave: Oh no, her mood is turning. She went from pure rage to pure sorrow.
Dave: Did she go right from the hot tub into the confessional? I feel like we missed a lot of footage.
Alex; I don’t think Kaitlin’s prostitute analogy makes sense.
Dave; She’s back to rage mode! I feel like the bigger girls would be easier targets. Get it? Because they’re bigger…
Alex: yeah, why aren’t people taking shots at the fatties and the ugos. People are just going to let Kristen be, and not address the fact that she looks like she ate Nicole Richie?
Alex: Arika will be up for discussion!
Dave: Kaitlin got in a fight with the secret pet.
Alex; It was more with Stephen, but I don’t know.
Dave; Do you think Paris puts more emphasis on what Tinicia says, or the reaction of a tiger? I say the tiger is the go to counselor.
Dave: I like Desirae. Her sarcasm is enjoyable.
Dave: I think the fiancé will be here. Monica seems surprised that she wasn’t the one to kiss the bachelor.
Alex; She just dry humped him. What fiancé lets their future husband do this?
Dave: Mark seems too hot for his fiancé. I think he’s secretly gay, and she’s his beard.
Stephen: Slut-to-be!!!
Dave: The wedding is off! I like how Paris is claiming to be morally outraged. The idea that someone with multiple DUIs is trying to be morally superior to anyone is laughable.
Dave: Who do you think she puts up for discussion?
AleX: I would think Kaitlin. Yeah, it would be between Kaitlin and Moinca, but she seems like buddies with Monica.
Dave: Tinicia is growing on me. Kaitlin’s irritable. Definitely bad timing.
Alex: Kaitlin is safe. Arika kissed the guy for god sake.
Dave: I think she randomly kicks out Monica, or at least points out that she grossed her out.
Dave: Tongue dance. I like that. Paris was shocked! Outraged!
Dave: Nicole may have a learning disability, or at the very least be embodied by a 5 year old girl based on that voice.
Dave: Maybe Kaitlin’s not trying to play the victim, but she does a great job.
Alex: Except she just contradicted herself. First she said people always ganged up on her, and now she’s baffled by the fact that someone would do this to her. Except wait, now it happens all the time
Dave: Yes, Stephen calls her out! Not wild about his scarf.
Alex: Or his hair.
Dave: Or his pole-phobia.
Dave: Arika is gone. Everyone seems to like her. Kaitlin can cause so much more drama.
Alex: It seems like Paris wants to kick out Arika, but I don’t know how much weight she assigns to the opinions of her potential bffs.
Dave; I’m still waiting for something to happen to Monica.
Dave: And Arika is gone. Any new ideas about TTYN? Talk to you never?
Alex: I don’t think that’s it. Nice call on Monica (She is booted too).
Dave: Monica dry humped him for no reason apparently.
Dave: When Kaitlin is traumatic in the confessional she always has curly hair. When she’s calm and collective, she’s rocking straight hair. Just a thought. She’s definitely sticking around for a while.
Dave: What’d you think of this episode overall? I didn’t really care for it.
Alex: It was ok. At least there were good reasons for people to get tossed.
Dave: The like “challenge” was dumb. I wish they had expanded on that. Make the bachelor a party a more expansive event, and actually have them plan stuff. I mean a bff needs to plan outings.

Royal Pains is Surprisingly Painless

I wanted to hate "Royal Pains" on USA network, which debuted Thursday after "Burn Notice." Based on the previews and the USA's track record I thought the show was simply "Burn Notice," USA's pride and joy, all wrapped up in new packaging.
If you think about it, it really makes sense. "Burn Notice" is a guy kicked out of his old profession who is using his old skills to do good in an nontraditional manner. He's got a hot friend and he's got a comic relief friend.

Now for "Royal Pains" you've got Dr. Hank, played by Mark Feuerstein (The West Wing and Good Morning Miami), serving as your dislocated star who is trying to find his bearings and while doing that is using his skills to help the beleaguered victims of the Hamptons. Yes, on this show you're supposed to feel sorry for the super rich, who just can't go to the local hospital because it's a death trap, and therefore need the help of a concierge doctor.
Dr. Hank also has arm candy, in the form of his super aggressive assistant Divya (Reshma Shetty). The comic relief is Hank's brother Evan (Paulo Costanzo from "joey" and "Road trip").

In comparison to their "Burn" counterparts I find Fiona (Gabrielle Anwar), Michael Westen's beau on "Burn," to be more compelling than Divya. Maybe not as hot, but definitely providing an emotional depth that is lacking in Divya's character, which can be explained by the fact that Divya is not Dr. Hank's love interest, and more of a two dimensional character that sort of falls more under comic relief.
In that case, Dr. Hank's love interest is far less compelling than Fiona, but mostly because Feuerstein's Hank is a terrible flirt and really kills any scene he's in when he's trying to be charming.

The redeeming star of the show is Costanzo's Evan, who made the show entirely watchable for me. His one liners in the premiere should make him a candidate for a role in a Will Ferrell or Judd Apatow movie. He blows his "Burn" counterpart, Bruce Campbell's Sam, out of the water. That's a noteworthy feat since Sam is a huge facet of "Burn's" success.

All in all, Evan kept me laughing long enough to gloss over the flaws in the show, like the fact that it is basically a watered down version of "House" and "Burn Notice." It seems he'll have a medical mystery every week, while dealing with the underlining themes of a failing healthcare system and Dr. Hank trying to get his job back. All of which seems pretty boring and unwatchable, aside from the occasional laughs from Evan.

BUT, the saving grace of the show could be if it approaches each week with the mindset of "Psych" or most episodes of "Monk." These other USA hits rarely take themselves too seriously, and it's part of the reason why they work. You just sit back and enjoy the show for what it is, nothing more and nothing less. That's in comparison to "In Plain Sight" and a majority of "Burn Notice" episodes, which take themselves far too seriously and make me want to gag.

If Pains just treats itself like the light, fluffy, enjoyable show that it's yearning to be, and not a think piece with a heart, then I will continue to turn in and you should too.

Toga native strives to befriend Paris. Episode 1

With my friend Alex Ventre we settled down to watch the first episode of Paris Hilton’s hunt for a new best friend. We were tuned in solely to see the local girl that’s on the show, Kaitlin Cassidy (probably spelled wrong). She was two years ahead of us in high school, and we recognize her, but that’s about it.
I should tell you that we’ve never seen this show before, and for the most part don’t watch MTV. We’re just hoping something ridiculous happens and that it all ends with drinks at the Tin’N’Lint.
Here is the running diary.

Alex: There’s a guy on this show??
Dave: Oh they’re gay guys.
Alex: Well yeah.
Dave; That’s what Paris wants, someone to tell her the truth! You don’t have the nose from a bird of prey.
Dave: I can’t believe I missed the auditions for this. Where do you think they advertised?
Alex:When do you want to help me shoot my survivor application?
Dave; You still want to be on that when you can be on this show instead?
Dave; I’m confused by the flow of this show. It’s all happening so fast
Alex; I heard she had stds in high school
Dave; From who?
Alex; I don’t know. She’s the (name omitted) of two years before us.
Dave:THERE SHE IS! She’s already been called a bimbo!
Alex;That girl looks like Paris.
Alex; Ok, I was going to say. (Turns out he was right, and it was Paris in disguise).
Dave; There’s going to be a lot of screaming. I think I hate Paris, and not just the place…
Dave: Can Nicole Richie try out for this show?
Alex;HEY-OH! I’m the drunk
Kaitlin “Tiny Trouble.” (Learned how to spell it)
Dave: Apparently she’s a devil
Alex; And STD free 2003.
Dave : And they’re drinking!
Alex: Yuckk (reaction to a girl)
Dave: TV in the bathroom. I have that. I bring my computer in the bathroom!
Dave: Kaitlin is taking shots at people! I love it. I hope she wins or I’m not going to last the whole season.
Alex: Male strippers coming? Just kidding… Wait, I was right?
Dave: 2 for 2. Of course this girl has no shame, she’s applying to be the BFF of Paris.
Dave: (I used to be 200 pounds) Woah!
Alex; She’s still heavy…
Dave: Shades of Nicole Richie…
Dave; I like how the narration from Paris is supposed to seem adlibbed, but it’s obviously scripted.
Dave; Kaitlin has a crown on. Did she have that before?
Dave: 2 people up for discussion, what is that?
Alex; I assume it’s a debate.
Dave; Probably shades of Socrates and Plato.
Dave : Road Rules/Real World is still a thing????
Alex: Ryan (his brother) watches that.
Dave; Respect level just went down for him, besides the fact he wouldn’t play night basketball.
Alex; Remember when Paris had a body double on that other show?
Dave; You think it’s her?
Alex; I assume so. It’s not like that lady is getting constant business.
Dave; The fat chick dances!
Alex; That’s disgusting…
Dave: I think Paris will like her.
Alex;The fat girl?
Dave; Make her feel better about herself.
Dave; I don’t know what to root for on this show.

Dave; Kaitlin is reading something! She’s already taking shots at people!! Principle Crowley must be so proud.
Alex: Why is she pretending to be from the ghetto? This is Saratoga…
Dave; I don’t understand the point of her thing.
(Barb has joined)
Alex; DTYM? WHAT in god’s name does that mean?
Barb: Don’t tell your mom!
Alex; Could be.
Barb : They all had their dicks out! (reaction to MTV show)
Dave; And they’re drinking again!
Dave; Kaitlin is going to get trampled by these tall girls.
Barb: Which one is she?
Barb: Is that Kelly (from the Office?)
Barb: That was a foul. Flagrant foul.
Barb: How did what’s her name seem?
Dave; Bitchy.
Dave; Of course Paris needs a fake nose! That beak is recognizable anywhere!
(Barb has left)
Dave; How are they eliminating people already! Oh, so people are up for discussion and need to watch themselves. The people seem to know the rules.
Alex: But it doesn’t actually matter, because there are still challenges right?
Dave:No idea…
Dave; People speak in text message lingo!
Alex; “Holy Crap, Wayne Newton is hitting on mom!”
Dave; Seems like a reasonable system of gauging friends (petting a tiger). Not arbitrary at all.
Alex; Kaitlin is retarded. She petted the tail. Everyone knows cats don’t like having their tails touched.
Dave; She’s taking great stock in the tiger’s opinion!
Alex ;Well she had the Abe Lincoln thing, fell on the dance floor, and now the Tiger growl is just the deathly trifecta.
Dave: TTYM? What did that mean? Everyone seemed to understand.
Alex: DT..
Dave: You heard DT?
Alex: Yeah, DTYM. Don’t tell your mother, so says barb. I don’t think that’s it, but…
Alex: Yeah, Paris is taking the whole picture into account on this girl.
Dave: TTYN!
Alex: Talk-To.. I don’t know.
Dave; Apparently it’s some elimination code!
Alex: Talk to you never? Maybe?
Dave; I like how people just get thrown off. It’s like on The Wire when people just die .
Alex; Keeps you on your toes.
Dave; I love the outfits Paris wears.
Alex: I think the one with the high-pitch voice is the hottest one.
Dave: I got to be honest with you Sal, excited to see Kaitlin strip.
Alex; I want to know who Paris’s sidekick is.
(It’s every girls fantasy to work a pole)
Dave: Kaitlin is Saratoga hot, but maybe not Las Vegas stripper hot.
Dave; The guy is pole dancing? Don’t want to see that or the fat chick.
Dave: Kaitlin kept her bottoms on!
Alex; What a prude.
Dave; Stefanieis hot. God, I’m older than her.
Dave; I like Stephan. He seems pretty reasonable, except the fact that he is on this show. He knows a guy on the stripper pole is odd.
Dave; That equated a meaningful friendship with Paris to dancing with a pole…
Dave; Who are the guys watching this?
Alex: He has to dance! He doesn’t do it, he’s out.
Dave: Paris seems genuinely pissed.
Dave; Tinicia was the only one to effectively use the pole.
Dave: Nicole differentiates between a bikini dancer and a stripper…
Dave; Stephen is crying. I’ve lost all respect for him.
(Stephen is up for discussion)
Alex: That’s a no brainer. I guess at least 2 people can be put up for discussion.
Dave; I feel like the rules aren’t written in stone.
Alex; They didn’t even show Kaitlin for more than a second.
Alex; You put makeup on your boobs?
Dave; Not a lot of camera time for Kaitlin. I’m worried she might not make the cut.
Alex; She’s just flying below the radar.
Dave: I enjoy these sets. It’s like an MGM film from the 1940s. Cleopatra in Las Vegas. Big show production.
Dave; I wonder if Paris will reward Stephen’s resistance? Find it impressive.
Dave; It doesn’t seem like Paris is famous anymore. She needs to release another sex tape.
Dave: TTYN. That’s definitely it.
Alex; I don’t know why Ariel got kicked off. She didn’t do anything wrong.
Dave; Kaitlin gave her a hug. I’m going to go out on a limb and say that isn’t the last insincere gesture she makes.
Dave; So we still don’t know what TTYN means, right?
Alex; Nope.

Will Ferrell looks danger in the face and makes it laugh

With "Land of the Lost" coming out on Friday, Will Ferrell appeared on a special episode of "Man vs. Wild," in my favorite promotional event of the summer.

For the most part the episode was entertaining. I've never seen the show before, and the star's narration quickly wore on me. Luckily, Ferrell kept things reasonably light and humorous, even while host Bear tried to highlight the grisly nature of the whole endeavor. This included phrases from Bear like, We WERE BOTH GOING TO DIE!, and Will Ferrell exclaiming that he may have lost his penis.

Anyway, I'm just impressed by the cameramen who followed Bear and Will. These guys are surviving, and CARRYING CAMERA GEAR!! I want them to do an episode where they flip things around and make Bear do the filming.

Best line of the night, "So that's the filet mignon of the deer head." Once Bear started to lighten up the episode became much more enjoyable.

I think all celebrities should have to appear on "Man vs. Wild," especially if it means we can thin out the ranks a little bit. I'm looking at you Dane Cooke, Andy Richter, and Nicholas Cage.

Conan owns Tonight last night...

First off I want to say that Conan’s first night at the helm of “The Tonight Show” was a success. He introduced himself to America (he likes dolls and self-deprecating humor), while also finding time to reassure his devoted followers that he knew to leave well enough alone.
Conan appeared a little weathered at the start of the show, as if he’d been writing jokes until air time, but he still looked better than Andy Richter. Richter, who opened the show in place of the immortal Joel Goddard from “Late Night,” looks like he gained about twenty pounds and just happy to be getting a steady paycheck (There will be more Andy bashing later).
When Conan walked on stage it seemed to be business as usual, with an abbreviated version of the string dance, some random tangents, and a little bit of adlibbed physical comedy. The back and forth with Andy was strained but watchable, although the lack of banter with Max was upsetting. One can only hope that the true star of the E Street Band gets adequate camera time tonight.
I loved the shot he took at his network being in third place and being sponsored by General Motors. A corporate hack following the directions of Jack Donaghy (watch 30 ROCK!!) might not have been so reckless, but Conan showed that his balls didn’t get lost on the transcontinental flight. Part of this risk was accompanied by an overall theme throughout the episode, which was that he’s not an establishment comedian, but rather an outsider with a relatively unknown past that the audience doesn’t know and should stick around to get acquainted with.
My favorite part of the episode was the remote he shot with the tour guide. This kind of improv humor is what comedians do great, and these segments were my favorite part of “Late Night.” Leno didn’t do a ton of remote segments, and maybe that’s why the few he did were enjoyed so much more. Maybe know that Conan is uber famous his remotes won’t be as effective and they’ll become more sporadic, but I hope, and am inclined to believe that he’ll keep up the steady output at a very high level of comedic genius.
The biggest downer of the night was that Conan’s usefulness as a lead would be wasted on Jimmy Fallon, who had a commercial air during “The Tonight Show” that left me with a bad taste in my mouth that I was only able to wash away with a handful of late night skittles from my brother. I also munched on cookies and pepperoni, for a real trifecta of health based snacks.
I loved the awkwardness when Conan addressed having Jay Leno as his lead in the fall. Couldn’t really gauge how he felt about the whole situation, but he handled it gracefully. The reality of the situation, though, is that Conan needs to establish a base during this period or people won’t stay up past the local news in the fall if they’re simply content with Leno.
On that note, I think Conan’s numbers will spike for about a month, but then he’ll start losing ground to Dave Letterman and the “Late Show,” until CBS finally overtakes NBC in late night television. Speaking of Dave, he sort of toned down his comedy after leaving the 12:30 time slot. From time to time you see him push some of the edges, but not really. Hopefully Conan doesn’t become trapped like that.
There was also an advertisement for “The Listener,” which won’t be on in the fall. That doesn’t really have anything to do with Conan, but I thought you should know not to get emotionally invested into this summer show that will not survive long.
Conan was very deferential during the interview, which was fine since Will Ferrell was hilarious. Ferrell will actually be on the Discovery channel tonight, as he takes part in an episode of “Man vs. Wild.” The trailer looked hilarious for it, and I recommend people tune in tonight.
I don’t think last night’s show is a good indicator of how interviews will go, so I’m not reading too much into the rapport Conan had with Ferrell.
Skipped the musical guest because I’m not a Pearl Jam, and instead caught part of the movie “Brick” on one of our numerous HBOs. It’s a great movie that is essentially a 1940s crime drama set in a modern High School, which has the effect of blowing one’s mind.
Anyway, I’m excited for tonight’s Conan, but I’ll have to DVR it since I barely could stay up last night. Apparently I’m not on college time anymore, except for the weekends when I have a few drinks…

Napping now for a late night

Conan O’Brien returns to late night television tonight as host of “The Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien,” and I’ll have more on this show, as well as others from the first few weeks later on, but for now I just want to voice a few questions about the big change.
Will Conan alter his style for the new time slot and show? He addressed this issue in the close of his old show, and was adamant that it would basically be the same show. I’m hesitant to say it will be vintage Conan, simply because he’s already retired characters and skits that aren’t suitable for the mainstream audience at 11:30.
While acknowledging that reality I still don’t think the show will feel noticeably different. Conan only works when he gets to be Conan, and to try to be something else will end in failure. The network knows this, and obviously recognizes that they’re not getting the next Jay Leno, which is why I think they’ll give Conan room to operate.
Overall I think he may have to pull some punches in terms of his skits, but the bigger changes could come in terms of the interviews, as he’ll know have to deal with more A-list stars that might not be keen on his style of humor. That means a little more kissing up and a little less, well whatever it is that Conan normally does with his guests.
Will Conan draw viewers from Colbert Report? In the past I loved television from eleven to midnight, and then a half an hour later until one thirty in the morning. That lineup included “The Daily Show,” “The Colbert Report” and “Late Night with Conan O’Brien.” Now someone will have to get DVRed, because the “Tonight Show” comes on at eleven thirty against is frenemy Stephen Colbert.
I feel like I’m not alone in this predicament, as the pairs fans are usually the same. Personally, I don’t see Colbert fans skipping their truthiness for what they think will be a toned down version of Colbert (I watch “Daily Show” and “Colbert Report” the next day on Hulu, so I’ll probably watch Conan live.) Thus, if Conan can’t bring the younger viewers with him, it makes it even more important that he holds on to Jay’s (how do I put this politely?) older viewers? And if he can’t hang on to the geriatrics, will they finally switch to Dave or will they just take their Viagra earlier?
Will people stay up for Conan when Jay comes on in the fall at ten? This is moot point for now, but in the fall it could become dicey. That’s why Conan needs to establish himself right away as a credible replacement, but also as a perfect complement so that people will tune in for Jay and want to stay for a nightcap with Conan.
A sidekick?!?!?!?!? Apparently Andy Richter will be back only as an announcer and will appear in various sketches. I know this means he won’t be a sidekick, but I wish he was off trying to start another failed sitcom instead of stealing air time from Conan, who always seems so awkward sharing the limelight.
Anyway, I hope it all goes well and America gets to know someone I think is funnier than Leno on his best day.