Elementary School Entertainment, My Dear Watson.

I like Guy Ritchie movies, even the bad ones. They’re normally fun. I’d go so far as to say they’re joyous romps. Joyous romps marred with blood, death, slow-mo action scenes and strange accents.
There is all of that in Guy Ritchie’s latest film, SHERLOCK HOLMES, except for the fun.
The movie tries to be fun. Unfortunately you’re left with banter reminiscent of HOUSE and a dynamic between Holmes and Watson that plays like Gus and Sean on PSYCH. Granted, both of those shows steal from the idea of Holmes, but this version of Holmes is essentially a bad rip off of other rip offs. If that sounds like a recipe for success then I’ve got a movie for you!
If not, then I’d encourage you to enter this movie well rested. Otherwise you’ll end up catching some zzz’s, like Alex and I did during the movie. I think I missed about 15 to 20 minutes during the middle, while he opted to ignore the last hour (Maybe he didn’t want a bad ending to spoil a great beginning).
Ritchie slams you in the face with this movie. Joke. Bang! Action scene. Bang! Joke! Wit! Action! Intrigue! Get it? Do you? Good. Because that’s what he’s going for. This movie has all the subtlety of a porn film, except when it comes to the mystery of the movie. The mystery and its resolution are of the Scooby Doo variety, in that no matter how well you paid attention, it was always some secret gas, mysterious chemical or groundskeeper that made it all possible.
As for the acting, I found that I really enjoyed Rachel McAdams. Playing something more than a damsel in distress, she doesn’t exactly steal the scenes she is in, but does contribute a lot. The same can be said about Jude Law, who is also a quality supporting actor.
The problem, dear brutus, lies with the star. Not that Downey Jr. is bad at Holmes. The problem is that he isn’t a star in the role. He is not a commanding presence. He is not Tony Stark. He is Kirk Lazarus (Tropic Thunder). A supporting actor. Except he needs to be the star here, and he doesn’t shine bright enough. Not for a movie of this size and scope.
So what you’re left with is a mediocre romp. It’s probably not as bad as I felt it was in the aftermath of the experience.
As far as reimaginings go this is no BATMAN BEGINS. Maybe the revenue will be enough to warrant a sequel. I don’t know. I’m more excited for a comedic take on Holmes. I think that’s what the world needed. Not a pithy version that we’ve already seen on television.
If you like explosions, go see this. If you like your laughs spoon fed to you, then go see this movie. If you like a movie to slap you in the face, steal your wallet and leave you feeling violated, then go see this movie.
I wish I had seen UP IN THE AIR.