Dave: So we’re still in the dark about her acronym?
Alex: TTYN? Yeah, we got nothing.
Dave: And we don’t know who or what that assistant thing is?
Alex: No.
Dave: Ok, then I guess I’m ready for the recap.
Dave: The tiger hated the hair? I like how she interpreted the tiger’s actions.
Dave: Kaitlin’s excited to see the new house! I’m excited too. Wait, not really…
Alex: Did that just say season 1 contestant? Seems like she was the real winner, and not the person Paris is feuding with now.
Dave: It seems like she gets along with this girl.
Alex: Yeah, and if she wasn’t 16 Paris could take her clubbing. She looks ready for a flood with those boots and a basketball game with those sweatbands.
Dave: I like the kitchen, although I feel like they won’t be doing a lot of cooking.
Alex: How am I older than these girls??
Dave: They’re going to get drunk…
Dave: This is the pinnacle of their lives??!?!?! Oh god. I feel like my value system is messed up.
Alex: That pink car is messed up.
Dave: There are themes to each week!!
Alex: I guess last week’s theme was Vegas.
Dave: If Paris had gone to college maybe she could have done the whole sorority thing.
Dave: I wonder what Kaitlin had to do for pledging? Maybe this is part of her pledging? Is her being on this show some cruel joke that her sisters made her do?? Is someone else from the sorority going to do flavor of love 3???
Alex: (Reaction to Monica) Yikes!
Dave: So Kaitlin’s a whipper snapper? A self-proclaimed leather dominatrix if I interpret her meaning?
Dave: Excited for the outfits?
Alex: Yeah. Leather doesn’t do anything for me though. I feel like leather would be too warm and constricting.
Dave: I don’t think Paris understands pledging.
Alex: That drink looks fantastic. This is child’s play compared to what (John) Noonan had to stomach (He basically drank a concoction of everything in my kitchen cabinet).
Dave: Caviar makes you poo?
Alex: Says her. I had it once. Didn’t have to poo.
Dave: She’s got us saying poo, though.
Dave: As long as they don’t add coffee grinds I’d be fine.
Dave: Lot of makeup.
Alex: Yeah, not a lot of natural beauties. I don’t think Paris would be called a classic beauty. She’s hot, which is basically a way of saying attractive based on a high level of slutiness.
Dave: This doesn’t seem like an equal friendship with Paris. It’s like you’re basically competing to be her bitch.
Kristen: I hyped myself up. Opened my mouth and just took the whole thing down.
Dave: She’s talking about the shot right. Zing.
Dave: BFF pet??? This show has so many turns I think I have whiplash.
Alex; She got rewarded for throwing up? That’s dumb
Dave: Apparently Kaitlin agrees with you. The thing is, Paris is obviously rewarding bulimia. She’s a spy!
Alex: A secret agent. Well, not exactly a secret.
Dave: I think Mark is the real secret agent. Bachelor party! Called it (It’s basically “The Hangover.”)
Alex: God Monica is terrifying.
Dave: There’s going to be a fight! Kaitlin will want to stay away from Kristen or she’ll sit on her.
Alex: Can your actions from previous episodes come back to haunt you? I mean if no one does anything wrong, then Stephen should be up for discussion again.
Dave: They’re not actually organizing the party, just getting sloppy and dancing?
Alex: What is Stephen going to do?
Dave: Stripper pole coming out. Stephen is going to be uncomfortable again… I like that Amanda has standards. She seems like the smart one.
Alex: Side boob action from Monica. Nice
Dave: The party seems kind of lame.
Alex: I don’t think Mark has any guy friends. Kaitlin is doing a body shot off of Mark!
Dave: She didn’t look like she liked it. Naval hair was probably floating in the liquor.
Alex: I think that was an olive, which would make sense if she asked for a martini.
Alex: Some girl tried to pick her up.
Dave; I’m honestly worried about Kaitlin’s safety.
Alex: I feel like this guy isn’t really getting married.
Dave: Do they not play beer pong at any point? Kaitlin is slurring! I love it! She’s being emotionally vulnerable and opening up. Compelling television, which is made so much better by the fact that everyone is in the hot tub.
Dave: Oh god. Kaitlin’s lost her mind… She’s going to stab someone…
Alex; Stephen thinks she’s bipolar.
Dave: Oh no, her mood is turning. She went from pure rage to pure sorrow.
Dave: Did she go right from the hot tub into the confessional? I feel like we missed a lot of footage.
Alex; I don’t think Kaitlin’s prostitute analogy makes sense.
Dave; She’s back to rage mode! I feel like the bigger girls would be easier targets. Get it? Because they’re bigger…
Alex: yeah, why aren’t people taking shots at the fatties and the ugos. People are just going to let Kristen be, and not address the fact that she looks like she ate Nicole Richie?
Alex: Arika will be up for discussion!
Dave: Kaitlin got in a fight with the secret pet.
Alex; It was more with Stephen, but I don’t know.
Dave; Do you think Paris puts more emphasis on what Tinicia says, or the reaction of a tiger? I say the tiger is the go to counselor.
Dave: I like Desirae. Her sarcasm is enjoyable.
Dave: I think the fiancé will be here. Monica seems surprised that she wasn’t the one to kiss the bachelor.
Alex; She just dry humped him. What fiancé lets their future husband do this?
Dave: Mark seems too hot for his fiancé. I think he’s secretly gay, and she’s his beard.
Stephen: Slut-to-be!!!
Dave: The wedding is off! I like how Paris is claiming to be morally outraged. The idea that someone with multiple DUIs is trying to be morally superior to anyone is laughable.
Dave: Who do you think she puts up for discussion?
AleX: I would think Kaitlin. Yeah, it would be between Kaitlin and Moinca, but she seems like buddies with Monica.
Dave: Tinicia is growing on me. Kaitlin’s irritable. Definitely bad timing.
Alex: Kaitlin is safe. Arika kissed the guy for god sake.
Dave: I think she randomly kicks out Monica, or at least points out that she grossed her out.
Dave: Tongue dance. I like that. Paris was shocked! Outraged!
Dave: Nicole may have a learning disability, or at the very least be embodied by a 5 year old girl based on that voice.
Dave: Maybe Kaitlin’s not trying to play the victim, but she does a great job.
Alex: Except she just contradicted herself. First she said people always ganged up on her, and now she’s baffled by the fact that someone would do this to her. Except wait, now it happens all the time
Dave: Yes, Stephen calls her out! Not wild about his scarf.
Alex: Or his hair.
Dave: Or his pole-phobia.
Dave: Arika is gone. Everyone seems to like her. Kaitlin can cause so much more drama.
Alex: It seems like Paris wants to kick out Arika, but I don’t know how much weight she assigns to the opinions of her potential bffs.
Dave; I’m still waiting for something to happen to Monica.
Dave: And Arika is gone. Any new ideas about TTYN? Talk to you never?
Alex: I don’t think that’s it. Nice call on Monica (She is booted too).
Dave: Monica dry humped him for no reason apparently.
Dave: When Kaitlin is traumatic in the confessional she always has curly hair. When she’s calm and collective, she’s rocking straight hair. Just a thought. She’s definitely sticking around for a while.
Dave: What’d you think of this episode overall? I didn’t really care for it.
Alex: It was ok. At least there were good reasons for people to get tossed.
Dave: The like “challenge” was dumb. I wish they had expanded on that. Make the bachelor a party a more expansive event, and actually have them plan stuff. I mean a bff needs to plan outings.
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