Alex: Or good night and good luck. I question the credibility of the statement, because she might talk to the final five again. Like the Asian girl that’s her assistant. Did she say that to her in a previous season? If so, Paris is a liar.
Dave: Among other things. And here we go…Alex: Shouldn’t you try to hit curve balls? If you’re going to use a baseball metaphor, you should make it work. You dodge dodgeballs!
Dave: If you can dodge a curveball, you can dodge a dodgeball.
Dave: Keep Kristen away from the giant cupcake!
Alex: The room is all white. Like in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Cross-product endorsement.
Dave: I love that Nicole is saying what we’re all thinking. Except she’s wrong to a degree, because Paris did hang with Nicole Richie.
Dave: Like actual eggs? Because if there’s eggs, and they dive in they’re going to get broken. I would want a giant knife to cut the cupcake open with.
Alex: Kristen, you don’t have to eat your way to the center of the cupcake!
Alex: Kaitlin coming through in the clutch! Can one person get more than one egg?
Dave: I like that one girl had a strategy, and it paid off.
Alex; I can’t see where the walls begin and the floor ends. This room is tripping me out.
Dave: What’s an onch dance?
Alex; I guess that’s an onch. Yikes.
Dave: HE! Onch is a guy!?!? Oh the twists and turns.
Dave: Mad drama, yo.
Dave: I think that girl is a racist for thinking Desire will fight her. Although, I’m 100% sure Desire will drop her.
Dave: Stephen should be the narrator. Why is that girl crying after the fact? There’s no reason for Katie to be crying in the confessional booth.
Dave: Desi? Paris has a nickname for Desire. That seems like a good sign.
Alex: I think I smell an alliance brewing between Stephen and Katie. He’s definitely smart enough to arrange these girls like pawns on his chessboard.
Dave: I’ll be disappointed if I find out that Stephen doesn’t create his own lines. If he is getting fed lines in the confessional I don’t know what to believe in.
Alex: I don’t think I’ve seen any of these shows being advertised during the commercials. What’s going to be on TRL tomorrow! That’s what I want to know!
Dave: Is Katie going to get blamed for these terrible outfits?
Alex: I think this will come back to bite her in the butt, which is very accessible in a tutu. See, she’s already been put in her place.
Dave: I’m glad Paris acknowledges that she’s shallow.
Alex: I’d like a makeover. Stephen and I are definitely on the same wavelength, except for maybe a few major life choices.
Alex: Stephen looks like a damn peacock.
Dave: So nothing will fit Kristen… I think this is when she finally gets sent home. I mean she can’t win, and this will give Paris a reason to get rid of her. Interested to see how she words her dismissal.
Dave: I like the edgy punk rock girl. She seems pretty cool, except for the fact that she’s on the show…
Dave: Kaitlin’s outfit is pretty cool. Pageant questions!
Dave: Was she kidding with that babies comment?
Alex; I don’t think so. Not just anyone goes to Oneonta.
Dave: I don’t think I know the answer to that question either.
Alex: Nor do I. I guess she was just using logic. I think it’s called a syllogism.
Dave: Desire with the misstep. Kristen has beautiful shoulders! How do u tell??
Dave: Stephen, yikes! He looks like the gay terminator.
Dave: Stephanie is great! Hot.
Alex: She should donate her kidney, because she has another one…
Dave; Give up your brain, because you won’t need it if you’re friends with Paris.
Dave: Tinicia needs to stop talking. She needs to abbreviate her answer. Paris liked it! I love it. They both speak retard.
Dave: Katie looks like a girl in a porn set in a circus or maybe at a rodeo. Yeah, definitely a rodeo, like maybe she takes on the blue prize winner.
Alex: Nicole is going up for discussion since she wore her lame prom dress. I like Kaitlin and Tinicia’s chances.
Dave; They’re definitely safe. I think Tinicia won.
Alex: Yeah, Kaitlin’s answer was a little weak.
Dave: I guess I would have said liquid Vaseline. That’s like the closest thing I can think of, but I don’t know what’s made of.
Alex: Do you think Kaitlin meant human babies? I’m going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume she meant a lower form of life.
Alex: Didn’t think Amanda would be the winner
Dave; Yeah, her outfit was cool and it matched, but she kind of looks like a man… Like, I think Stephen could have pulled it off.
Dave: Nicole and Kristen are up for discussion.
Alex; Definitely Nicole. If you can put a pet up for discussion than Katie is vulnerable because of her god awful outfit.
Dave: I called it. Kristen isn’t up because of her style choice, but because of her life choices, in terms of what she chose to eat over her life. There’s no way Desire goes home. If anything she’ll keep the drama in the house to spur interest.
Alex; Nicole is diving into the comfort food, aka Kristen’s normal dinner.
Dave: The song in the background comes out completely against the ideals of the show. It says fame and fortune isn’t everything. Some producer on the show must not understand irony or just really hate their job.
Dave: It’s definitely Kristen that says “F*%$ you” to Paris. I like that Katie is still vulnerable.
Alex: Yeah, Monica wasn’t up last week and she got sent home. I think they’re lulling us into a false sense of security so we’ll be shocked, shocked I say, when the tutu bandit is sent packing.
Dave: What inside stuff was there? It was all superficial.
Alex: You’re forgetting the question. Paris received great insight into Kaitlin with her baby oil question.
Alex: Take the bow off Katie! Paris doesn’t like it! And you’re still too fat Kristen.
Dave: Paris knows her Wizard of Oz. Or at least one of the writers does.
Dave: I think that’s a bad move by Kaitlin, to trash Nicole for last week’s stuff. It’s not relevant, or good strategy. Makes her seem petty, and basically the perfect contestant.
Dave: Boy, anyone could go now. But not Desire! Woohoo! Nicole gets to stay! Shocking!
Alex: Katie played it too safe as the pet, and it could bite her in the butt.
Dave: I would watch Real World Cancun if it was on Cinemax at 2 in the morning and my parents weren’t home.
Alex: Duel elimination. HA! Where did that come from?!?!
Dave: It was Katie!?!?! Who knew? I like these balls she was apparently hiding. Desire was basically a prophet.
Dave: Role model? How is Paris a role model?!?!? Ughhhhh. Professional athletes make better role models.
Dave: Definitely an enjoyable episode. Guess who’s coming to dinner next week? Really, they’re going to reference a ground breaking movie about race relations to promote their show? I feel sick.
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