Dave: This show requires a certain level of thought. They’re not just going to spell it out for you. It’s a think piece.
Dave: So on facebook, Kaitlin has been advertising events that she’s cohosting with Stephen.
Alex: Huh.
Dave: Weren’t they enemies like one episode ago?
Alex: Yeah, because of the hot tub incident. Makes you question the sincerity of all this.
Dave: I don’t know what to believe in anymore.
Dave: I’m definitely rooting for Stefanie. I have a huge crush on her. Just because she thinks that Paris is literally in the oven doesn’t make me think any less of her.
Alex: This show is a slap in the face to anyone who is currently a friend of Paris. It basically says that they’re not good enough to be bff, and Paris has had to go searching for a new friend.
Dave: So this high class chef doesn’t actually know what an amuse-bouche is, because it’s actually a one bite appetizer. Apparently this guy never watched Top Chef, since that’s how I learned it. Pretty angry about this right now.
Dave: Just because Stefanie is struggling with snails doesn’t mean I think any less of her.
Alex: If he gives Stefanie the pet thing he’s retarded. Everyone else just ate the snails without a fuss, and she gets rewarded for supposedly overcoming her fears. This is just like when Tinicia was chosen as the pet for throwing up. The lack of logic on this show is hurting my brain, which is compounded by the fact I’m still baffled that Onch is a guy!
Dave: Paris puts a lot of emphasis on what animals think. First the lion, and now her dog.
Dave: WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO IMPRESS PARIS WITH SOMETHING YOU”VE NEVER COOKED BEFORE!!!
Dave: I think this whole thing was staged by the producers. I bet they thought it would make compelling television to have the girls and Stephen remove giblets from a duck.
Dave: I hope Stephen doesn’t jump the new guys. There’s no way these are real competitors. I refuse to believe this. They’re just going to cause problems. Alex: Desirae’s stock is rising. Her analysis of the situation is akin to Walter Kronkite breaking down the Vietnam war.
Dave: The mack? The shots of Stephen in the background are great.
Alex: That guy is a question talker. Am I here to cause problems? Will I be on I Love New York 6?
Dave: Stephen wears a surprisingly large amount of makeup.
Dave: So Paris and Doug aren’t together anymore… Why did they let a rat on the table???
Alex: I thought you weren’t supposed to give dogs sugar? Stefanie is going to kill her dog.
Dave: Paris doesn’t like cold food? Oh really Doug, does she not like ice cream???
Alex: Who is going to get blamed for this train wreck of a meal? I feel like we should have gotten a longer glimpse of the cooking process.
Alex: Stephen has gaydar.
Dave: Doug is asking some very poignant questions.
Alex: Chris is getting loaded questions. It’s like Paris is gunning for him. I don’t like his chances.
Dave: If Paris went through their “personal” files, does she know that Kaitlin’s boyfriend is a reality tv actor? I feel like that wouldn’t play well. Although, that assumes any of this is real, which I’m starting to doubt.
Dave: I believe Tinicia has confused maneater, with some degree of escort. Not because she worked at Hooters, but because she said “they wanted to spend time with me, and I just basically put it out there for them.”
Alex: I feel like Kaitlin is lying about her answer.
Dave: I like how she thinks everyone else got questions that highlighted their positive qualities. It’s almost as if she’s paranoid and delusional. Although, I hope this doesn’t come back to bite her in the butt. I can’t watch this if she’s off.
Alex: Oh god, Stefanie. Does this have something to do with her father or something? I feel like this was brought up earlier.
Dave: I’m just waiting for someone to turn the tables and ask Paris questions, maybe Chris, since that’s how he talks. Have you released a sex tape? Have you gotten a dui? Have you gotten another dui?
Alex: Based on the preview I think Kaitlin is going up for discussion.
Dave: I liked her straight hair in the preview.
Alex: I think Chris “The Birdman” Anderson is going to be on the Real World Cancun. Maybe that’s what he did when he was suspended from the NBA.
Dave: I happy that Elena called Stefanie out on her crap. I can’t believe I’m saying this about my favorite contestant. I’m 100% sure Stephen will be one of the last five.
Alex: She was a poor tom boy? Tragic. Stephen was a gay mormon.
Dave: Why will anyone be put up for discussion?
Alex: Maybe Kaitlin, because it seems like she lied. Maybe Chris, because he seems fake?
Alex: Kaitlin is going home.
Dave: No way.
Chris: Am I safe from elimination? I hope so, I just got here.
Alex; Question talker! Am I scared about elimination? Absolutely. Do I think I’ll be going home? I don’t think so.
Dave: I wonder if we could just ask questions? DO you want to try?
Alex: What?
Dave: I feel like the three people up for discussion doesn’t mean anything. In fact, I feel like she’s going to randomly throw someone out, who thinks they’re safe.
Chris: Who do I think is the hottest? Stephen.
Alex: David’ s beat-boxing was lame.
Dave; I hope Kaitlin is confronted by someone from Saratoga! Who do you hope it is?
Alex: I can’t remember anyone from that grade except Kathleen Sullivan.
Alex: How does a girl that hated her equate to a friend???
Dave; Yeah, I think Kaitlin is in the clear on this one. If she gets kicked out now I’ll be pissed. I guess even the paranoid and delusional can be right occasionally.
Alex: Yeah, I don’t think she did anything wrong.
Dave: I’m surprised that Kaitlin didn’t see this one coming based on earlier interviews. Ugh! People are twisting the question. I feel really bad for Kaitlin, because she’s getting railroaded.
(Joe, my brother, enters and learns about what is going on)
Joe: That’s just bad television.
Dave: Tinicia is very angry. She definitely has some issues.
Alex: KAITLIN DIDN”T LIE!!!
Dave; And it all comes down to the animal. At least it’s not arbitrary.
Joe; These people are your age. I find that hilarious.
Dave: I think only one person is going home, and based on how Kaitlin was smiling in the last confessional makes me think she’s not going home.
Joe; I think hooking up with an enemy’s boyfriend won’t be a big deal to Paris. That seems right up her alley. Has she done this already? Can we find this out somehow?
Dave: Wasn’t Paris feuding with um, Shannon Doherty? (Did a little research and here’s the scoop http://www.buzzle.com/editorials/3-19-2003-37604.asp)
Alex: Tinkerbell must be sweating balls in that sweater.
Dave: Now everything in Paris’s life makes sense. She’s been having a dog make her life choices. I thought they’d let Tinkerbell run to a person.
Alex: yeah, put them in a triangle and throw Tinkerbell in the middle. Whoever she goes to is obviously a good seed and the other two need to hit the road.
Dave: Or, the person she chooses is the one that needs to go home. That’s why I let cats make all my decisions. They’re much more deliberate and with less ambiguity.
Dave: Bye Chris! Or should I say, did Tinkerbell really hate Chris????? Yes.
Dave; A concern, yes, but she has time to fix it. Kaitlin is definitely safe.
Chris: Did I think the dog would growl at me? No. Am I surprised growled? Of course.
Joe: What are you doing?
Alex: The guy is a question talker.
Joe: What?
Dave: exactly.
Chris: Will I be back? Who knows? Is it possible?
Alex: Kaitlin needs to stick to her guns.
Joe: I hope this doesn’t stir up any Saratoga drama.
Dave: Are they really going to make light of the time Paris spent in jail??? UGH
Alex: So Stefanie being the pet meant nothing.
Dave: You’re surprised by this?
Alex: I don’t know? At least the other two pets got one on one time.
Dave: Your thoughts? Not a great episode.
Alex: Nah.
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