How the Other Half Doesn't Live: No TV

I am always shocked by people who don't consume 10% of the entertainment I do. For that reason, I sat down with my friend Kareem Ghobrial to discuss his odd life style. Sure, he has a job and participates in non-loner activities, but I still wanted to understand his motivations. You are the benefactor of my investigation.

Dave Lombardo: What was the last movie you saw in theaters?

Kareem Ghobrial: (Stares at me blankly) Avatar. Before that, Iron Man.
DL: Why AVATAR? Who was the girl?
KG: Heard it was a good movie and that the best way to see it was in 3D. DIdn't want to see it on DVD.
DL: What was the last DVD you bought?
KG: (Rips off his shirt to expose his Egyptian physique.) I think Million Dollar Baby. (I now understand he was providing me with a visual aide.)
DL: What tv shows do you follow?
KG: HOUSE. 2 and a half men.
DL: WHat did you think of the HOUSE finale?
KG: Didn't see it?
DL: So can you define what following it means to you?
KG: I FOLLOW Two and a half men. I watch it every Monday. I watch HOUSE when I can.
DL: SO why do you think shows geared toward the lowest common denominator in society appeal to you?
KG: (He slaps me) I spend enough time thinking during the day.
DL: What is your favorite movie?
KG: (20 minutes later) I liked V FOR VENDETTA.
DL: Why?
KG: A lot of symbolism, and i thought it was interesting how history was repeating itself. By that i mean, i think it was originally based on politiking in England. Well, based on the comic book, which had to do with the political struggle in England after WWII. I thought the same argument made then could be applied to contemporary politics.
DL: SO you like meaningful crap in your movies?
KG: Yes.
DL: Have you seen stuff like Children of Men?
KG: No.
DL: You'd love that. It's a really beautiful movie, and it was full of meaning. Went right over me head, so you know it's good.
KG: I either like movies that make you think a lot, where you can't figure out what's coming next, or things that are entertaining. Comedy or fantasy.
DL: And you didn't watch LOST?
KG: Nope, never saw an episode. Heard it was one of those things where you had to start from the beginning.
DL: You could try the DVDs...
KG: THat would entail buying them. (As if he doesn't have a Middle Eastern connection to get a bootleg copy from.)
DL: So what do u do at night? You get home from work, do physical stuff, eat, and then....
KG: Usually finish reading the Wall Street Journal, if i haven't done so already.
DL: SO that would be your conservative side rearing its ugly head. Have you heard of the old grey lady?
KG: Nope.
DL: How about the Ny Times?
KG: Yeah.
DL: ANd?
KG: I don't read the NY times.
DL: Why one over the other?
KG: Really only interested in what's going on in the world of finance and staying up to date with companies and individuals that are making investments in specific sectors of our economy.
DL: That sounded a lot like Children of Men to me, so i didn't really grasp it. The words made sense, but not in sentence form. Let's move on. Do you listen to any podcasts?
KG: Never.
DL: DO you know what they are? ANd why not enjoying them?
KG: I know what they are, and never taken the time to listen to one.
DL: I'd recommend some, but they're not up your alley at all. They're actually not even bowling related. Get it?
KG: Um.
DL: Not up your alley...
KG: Oh. Gotcha.
DL: Do you go to movies on dates?
KG: Ironically enough, AVATAR and Iron Man.
DL: Who picked the movies?
KG: I picked. She paid.
DL: Would you teach me how to be you? (Side note: His gf is awesome.)
KG: Those were the terms and conditions for me to see a movie.
DL: Have you seen Twilight?
KG: No.
DL: Now I'm going to say some movie quotes, and i want you to guess what they're from. Ok?
KG: Sure.
DL: "So you're saying there's a chance?"
KG: Dumb and Dumber
DL: Correct. "Let's make 'em an offer they can't refuse." Or something to that extent.
KG: (Shrugs) I feel like Nicolas Cage says that in GONE IN 60 SECONDS.
DL: That's pretty close, except that it's from THE GODFATHER.
KG: Never seen that. That's cheating.
DL: Would you agree this game sucks?
KG: Probably only for you.
DL: Are there any shows, movies, books or CDs that you get excited about or care passionately about?
KG: Yes, but that wouldn't be up your alley. No bowling alley joke intended.
DL: Try me. Let's expand the horizons of this blog. No bowling pun intended.
KG: (Clears throat) I like reading books Warren Buffet has commented on or released himself.
DL: You know how i know you're gay? You look for Warren Buffet Books. Do you like his son?
KG: DOn't know him...Jimmy Buffet?
DL: Yeah, that's where i was going with that. So that business crap entertains and captivates you?
KG: I wouldn't say it's entertaining. I'd say i don't understand it, but i'm interested in it. I would like to learn more about it considering my academic skill set is not from there.
DL: But neither is politics. Do you read history or current political books?
KG: No. That doesn't interest me and i don't want to understand it. I'm an engineer trying to make the transition to finance. Best way for me to do that is by reading what's going on everyday.
DL: Have you heard of Omar Kadafy's son?
KG: No. Which one?
DL: The one that was an engineer who is now involved in finance. Specifically relevant to this blog, the financing of movies!
KG: No.
DL: Well I'd recommend that route for you. Well we've spent about all the time I want to waste on this, so let's move to the final part of this interview, where we each give entertainment recommendations. You can go first.
KG: (Cracks open low sodium V8) Comcast just bought NBC from GE-
DL: I belive you mean CABLETOWN bought NBC. Or do you not watch 30 Rock?
KG: Which will now, eventually, one day use the rights to the channels associated with NBC in combination with their broadcasting capabilities to limit the market of channels available to non-comcast users. This will force other networks, such as time warner to pay a premium for their viewers to still have those channels.
DL: On the same issue, there's some worry about comcast unfairly setting downloading speeds in favor of their NBC programs. This would mean you could stream THE OFFICE with no problems, while Grey's Anatomy might have some problems. Actually, ER and WEST WING producer Jon Wells recently testified about this in front of Congress.
KG: I believe that is true as well.
DL: So why do you care about this issue?
KG: It's just another step in the virtualization of media, similar to the way i-phone and Droid have apps, pretty soon television will broadcast in a similar fashion.
DL: Yeah, i've heard murmurs about how you'll be able to pick your channels in an a la carte fashion.
KG: Or even one step further, to be able to pick shows on certain channels. That would reduce the amount of channels needed by the user, and therefore reduce their bill, since they're not paying for channels they don't watch. It would also cut down on the bandwidth these cable companies use to broadcast their channels. In effect, the consumer would be paying less, based on their selection, while the cable companies could allocate their resources more efficiently based on the needs of their target audience.
DL: And after that, I'm going to recommend the GLEE season finale that will be happening soon.
KG: Not game one of the NBA finals with the celtics?
DL: Depends, what channel is it on?
KG: ABC.
DL: Well, if by game time they invent a technology that lets me hear only Jeff Van Gundy, then i would totally endorse that game. Anyway, thanks for sitting down with me and letting me bore you and the audience who are basically suckers if they're still reading. Yes, i'm talking you.