A couple thing before we begin the blog…
1. I already know what happens! Why would certain people put in their newsfeed on facebook the result of their show before I had a chance to write about it?? I mean I’m like 2% sure she at least glances at my blog to make sure I’m not writing anything too terrible and so she must have realized I hadn’t seen it yet if I hadn’t posted!!! UGHHH
2. We will be joined by some special guests who wanted to see the show while Kaitlin was still on it.
3. Oh yeah, and they’ve already green lit season three of this show. Questioning the legitimacy of reality show…
4. I wonder if this is my last episode.
Here we go!
Dave: Excited that we’ll be making light of Hilton’s time in jail.
Alex; What was her problem? She was a poor tom boy? Lance Armstrong only has one nut.
(Ryan, Alex’s brother, has joined us)
Ryan: Does Chris also phrase his questions in the third person? Is Chris upset?
Dave: This whole thing seems very official
Alex: they’re not strippers.
Dave: Tinecia, don’t fight the police! Resist the urge!
Dave: Kaitlin is going to get destroyed in prison. Is it wrong to suggest that Stephen might like it?
(Eric Magnano is here!)
Eric: So Paris is just going to pick the straight guy for sex? That would be a cool best friend. A real giver.
Dave: How did she know the age of the poop? Did she do a little carbon dating?
Alex: Stefanie cries about being a tom boy, but jail doesn’t faze her at all.
Alex: I like Nicole. She has cranberry juice in her cell.
Dave: Is it wrong that I think Paris is hot?
Alex: Nicole’s stock is rising in my book! She’s been in juvenile hall and apparently steals cats according to Paris.
Alex: Which one is Llena? How did she choose her? Honest face?
Ryan: How tall is Paris? 7 feet in heels?
Eric: The cat is biting me. What is he doing?
Alex: Paris would put great weight on the choices of Stewart (my cat). She probably say TTYN based on his aversion of you.
Alex: Why aren’t they forming alliances????
Ryan: they’re not that smart. Survivor requires a certain intellect.
Eric: I guarantee Stephen wins.
Ryan: DD on David’s arm. My brain is currently being blocked by the log jam of jokes trying to make it out. Drunk ditz. Dork dude. Why are the worst ones getting out??!??!?!
Ryan: This show isn’t even a half hour
Alex; Someone fell out of their top
Ryan: And their bottom
Eric: I believe I predicted that Stephen would win.
Dave: Impressed that Stefanie didn’t cry when she fell down. This.. Was… So….Hard…For…Me…
Alex: If the straight guy doesn’t win this he should be ashamed of himself
Dave; Stefanie didn’t really prove her tomboy credentials with her rope skills.
Dave: 5 foot nothing. 100 and nothing. And not a speck of athletic ability on you.
Alex: Wins what??? Nothing on this show matters??
Dave; Quality fake moustache on Onch.
Alex; The straight guy should probably win this.
Ryan and Eric: Chunked?
Eric: Is that the right verb?
Ryan: It’s not even half over? Must be an action packed episode.
David: What prison hosted this? Sidenote, based on Stephen’s excitement, is Paris the new Barbara Streissand for this eras gay men?
Alex; Stephen hates Kaitlin? Don’t they host stuff together on facebook? What is real on this show????
Alex: It’s all a joke. Stephen is really straight as an arrow and this is all just a ploy to get into Paris Hilton’s pants.
Alex: Tuna fish and cream of corn? Sounds good.
Dave: This was a gourmet meal for Stefanie growing up.
Eric: She said she’ll be watching from a two way mirror, is that possible?
Ryan: Yeah, it’s called a window.
Eric: What’s that girl doing? She looks a lot like me. Definitely a good investment to get the two-way mirror.
(Fact finding: Served less than 24 days in jail. That included her screaming in court that her sentence was “not right.” All according to Wikipedia)
Alex: Is it racist to assume Tenicia will fit right in?
Ryan: She’ll probably start rapping.
Alex: True dat. I think Stefanie is real.
Dave; I hope they post the full length interviews online.
Dave; Stefanie’s life keeps getting worse. Soon she’ll say she was married at age 12
Alex: Maneater=Prostitute
Dave: Three six mafia are really breaking Tinicia down. She’s gone. Although it seems like she has a soft spot for criers.
Alex: They’re lying about Kaitlin.
Eric: I’ve seen like 45 minutes of this show, tonight and some earlier one, and she’s always crying!
Dave: It doesn’t bode well for Kaitlin that Paris has no sympathy for her tears.
Dave: Is there anyway Stephen doesn’t win?Alex: His journey could be plagued by another potential stripper challenge.
Dave: Kaitlin David and Nicole
Alex: Kaitlin David and Desirae
Dave: Could use of haggard by Paris.
Alex: It’s pronounced Hagrid (like in Harry Potter).
Eric: Why would you drive if you were that rich? I feel like you could avoid DUIs that way.
Dave; I don’t think there are varying degrees to being real.
Ryan: Who discusses it?
Alex: Her and her dog. Sometimes a tiger.
Alex: How is David not up for discussion?
Dave: Maybe there is an alliance. An alliance against Kaitlin. She’s getting railroaded off this show.
Dave: I think we’ll all remember when Meryl Streep jumpstarted her career on Marilyn Monroe’s quest for a BFF. I see big things for Nicole.
Dave and Alex: Axed her a question!
(BIG CUT IS HERE! That’s Dwayne Hazel for all you ignoramuses out there)
Alex: Three strikes Kaitlin and here comes the waterworks. She could hydrate a desert. She must drink a ton of water.
Dwayne: Can P Diddy have a show?
Dave: Didn’t he have “Be My B***H?”
Dave: Is there anyway that Stephen doesn’t walk away with a spinoff he doesn’t win?
Alex: How can Paris say TTYN to someone she claims will be her friend in the future…
Alex: I don’t know who to root for anymore.
Dave: I don’t know what to watch anymore…
Dave: Why is David surprised about the girl themed stuff???
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