Twilight isn't too bright

I finally broke down and saw TWILIGHT. I've always been intrigued by the series, as far as I like vampire stories and found the teen drama a new angle (that has since been done to death) interesting.
But this initial attraction wasn't compelling enough for me to actually do anything. Maybe a girlfriend could have dragged me to a movie or a really good book review might have made me open one of them up. Neither event ever transpired, so I remained a twilight virgin until Monday night.
Out of the blue I had the opportunity to watch TWILIGHT at my friend Alex's house and I leaped, with the understanding that I could talk through the whole movie. There was no way I could stay silent through this movie (My biggest explosion came during Ed and Bella's initial reaction, in which he just stares at her and taught me how to pick up chicks).
Simply put, this was not a good movie. It was not a good children's film. It was not a good tweener or teen film. It wasn't a good chick flick. It wasn't a good drama. It was a good action movie. It was bad. It was long. It was boring.
On the plus side, though, it had frequent instances of unintentional comedy. If the snogging in the last Harry Potter movie was bad, this movie took teen romances to a new and even stranger level. Ed's courting of Bella was the strangest thing i had ever seen, which i guess was the point. But did it have to be so darn funny?
I love you. I hate you. I want to have sex with you. I want to eat you. Kids today with their rap music and shiny boyfriends, well needless to say i felt out of the loop at 22.
This movie felt like what I imagine the VAMPIRE DIARIES is like on the CW. Corny. Canned. Cheap.
This movie reflects its meager budget. Meager in comparison to its box office receipts, which were initially in doubt. Honestly, who didn't think this would be a megahit? The idiots that hedged their bets were morons.
The camera work in TWILIGHT could be described as erratic at best. The writing is so heavy handed at some points and vague in others that the story wanders and lacks any cohesion. This problem is inconsequential compared to the utterances Kristen Stewart is forced to spew as Bella. Her awkward delivery was probably a result of the vomit she was stifling back.
TWILIGHT tried to accomplish 85 different things at once, but ended up falling short on every tangent. They were obviously afraid that there wasn't enough meat in the original story that they couldn't attract an audience, but i'd contend the built in fan base would have kept them alive.
What ended up happening was a crammed movie that seems to exist in another dimension, when a compelling part of this book is how in touch it is supposed to be. Any girl could be Bella. That's the dream. Unfortunately this movies lives in a dream world, which is more like a nightmare when you try to watch it.
(Rent TRUE BLOOD instead and watch this SNL parody of Twilight, http://www.hulu.com/watch/107500/saturday-night-live-digital-short-firelight)

Ramp up the Enthusiasm

CURB YOUR ENTHUSIASM is typically marked by awkward confrontations that are hard to watch, but are the reason for watching. This humor is compelling and done to perfection on CURB (THE OFFICE merely emulates). After a while, though, this style wears on me, as I'm not a devote follower of CURB and for this very reason.
But last night's episode was one of my favorite, if only for the reveal of Larry David wearing female underwear. Although to be fair, it might just have been a pink speedo.
The episode pushed along the SEINFELD reunion plot, with Cheryl finally getting the role that was written specifically for her. All in all this angle just moved the story along, but it did conveniently introduce a way for Larry to say cunnilingus (always a good thing).
Obviously this came up, because Elizabeth Shue's character hurt her neck, which can only be accomplished in a car accident or while performing the aforementioned act. Larry assumes the latter in the wake of a suggestion that Cheryl might be involved in a threesome with Shue's character.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that last night's episode was funny. It was a tight show with laughs driven by a storyline that progressed nicely and tied everything together.
Let me stop writing now because i can only make this post worse. It's not like I can go back and edit it...
Oh yeah, and i enjoyed Larry's friendship with Jeff. Sometimes their dynamic seems strained or awkward to me, but in this episode you could really see how close they are. It was fun.
ONLY TWO EPISODES LEFT IN THIS SEASON!!!!

SNL soars with Swift

Rarely do I sit through an entire episode of SNL. Normally I'll catch up on Sunday via HULU, but Saturday night i sat down and watched the entire show, songs and all, from start to finish. On the whole I really enjoyed it.
The opening sketch was not funny and was indicative of one theme throughout the show, which is that Kristin Wiig is in every sketch. The only time she didn't appear was during Weekend Update (when she probably worked a camera) and when Swift sang (didn't see her doing backup vocals). Wiig is definitely the best actress on the show, but i feel like she could burnout. In part because they over use some of her characters, like Penelope, and also because she will physically and emotionally show the toll. Some of her roles could have been done by the other cast members, including Abbey Elliot, who is a rising star on the show.
Besides the cold open, which was a forgettable spoof on FOX News (Sudekis as Glen Beck was good, but Jon Stewart did it better this week) the show was funny.Swift killed her monologue with a great song that basically just poked fun at the more public aspects of her life.
The highlight of the night was the fake infomercial about bad parental driving. Sudekis and Wiig were hilarious in it, but only because they perfectly captured the tendencies of my mom.
Swift fit right in playing Kate Gosselin as a guest star on THE VIEW. As usual Keenan Thompson and Fred Armisen stole the show playing Whoopi Golberg and Joy Behar respectively, but she carried her own weight. The only surprising reveal of the skit was that a new actress was playing Barbara Walters. She's a featured player so i didn't bother learning her name or looking it up.
Keenan Thompson and Taylor Swift made an amazing duo as part of a scared straight team, which Thompson regularly does. She pretended to be a male convict and while not selling it at all, got me to laugh simply by the premise of her as a male criminal.
I hope Swift has a long musical career, just so she can come back and host again.

Feel the RAGE. MAD MEN FINALE

Just finished watching MAD MEN finale. It was simply amazing. About to watch it again and hopefully come down with some insightful thoughts.

Sorry Kirk and watch V!

I was too quick to assign Kirk Acevedo head guest star status on WHITE COLLAR last night. Apparently Callie Thorne (RESCUE ME and a thousand other guest spots) reigns supreme and was the villain, thus anointing her the headliner for the episode.
She is a tremendously talented actress, based solely on the nut she plays on RESCUE ME. I think she did the best with what she could on WHITE COLLAR, but no one looks good on that show. It's basically the THOMAS CROWN AFFAIR, if Tom took you to a sleazy motel and stole the change from the "take a penny, leave a penny" thing.
P.S. About to watch this week's V on HULU. So excited!

I know him...

Journeyman actor Kirk Acevedo appeared in Friday's episode of WHITE COLLAR. Haven't finished the episode, but so far it stinks.
Acevedo was most recently in FRINGE, where he left under murky terms. His character was killed off, which may or may not have been the result of tensions he had with the creative staff.
Anyway, you might have also seen his face in BAND OF BROTHERS or the indie hit DINNER RUSH!
My prediction for his stint on WHITE COLLAR, where he is playing a cop, will be that he is killing the mafia guys.

Podcast Recommendations

This is just a quick list of all the podcasts I'm listening too now:
THE TONY KORNHEISER SHOW: This podcast is derived from Tony's two hour radio show he does in Washington. A typical week includes lamenting over the Redskins, trashing the Washington Post Journal, addressing Tony's current obsession and fitting some sports tidbits in. There are also football picks from James Carville, Jaws and a monkey (only one isn't a person).
The B.S. REPORT: This is Bill Simmon's podcast, which is basically a more convoluted version of a column without any focus and only a vague central theme. They typically includes calls to his friend Jack O or football picks with COUSIN SAL. I think this is the most popular podcast on itunes.
FRONTLINE: This is just the audio from PBS's Frontline series. Very compelling, interesting and well done. They make the boring fascinating.
NPR, IT's ALL POLITICS: A loosy goosey approach to covering politics.
NY TIMES POLITICAL POINTS: A formal smoral approach to covering politics.
NEW YORKER POLITICAL SCENE: Waspy swaspy approach to covering politics.
SLATE'S POLITICAL GABFEST: A happy hour approach to covering politics
SLATE'S CULTURAL GABFEST: Ditto, except about tv, books, and such.

TV in the future from the past

In a desperate attempt to gobble up all the HULU content I can before it becomes a pay site in some capacity, I've begun watching the show CENTURY CITY.

The show is an episodic legal drama set in the year 2030, and every week the firm deals with all the new issues that arise in the future. By every week, though, I mean 9 weeks. Well really, just four, because that's all that aired on television.
Anyway, the show starred Ioan Gruffudd, who you'll recognize from FANTASTIC FOUR or some British film. He's the attorney with a heart of gold, who is a little bit naive, a little bit eye candy and a lot annoying.
Other notables include Viola Davis, who most notably drew acclaim in the movie DOUBT, where she was nominated for an Oscar. She plays the hard nosed senior partner with a soft spot for the occasional case that she decides to champion.
Nestor Carbonell was the main draw for me personally. He's easily recognizable as the ageless Richard and even in this role he brings intrigue and entertainment. Granted, the intrigue doesn't compare to LOST, but he's definitely the most interesting character on the show. He plays a former politician who appears to be brought in for his name, but slowly begins to get his hands dirty within the firm as he champions certain causes. I've seen seven of the nine episodes so far, and i really lament the fact he didn't get more of a chance to sink his teeth in to this role. His background could have been the impetus for a lot of fun stories going forward and probably should have been utilized better in the episodes that did air.
The other mildly entertaining character is played by Eric Schaeffer, who does a homeless man's impersonation of William Shatner's, Denny Crane on BOSTON LEGAL. He's good for a few laughs, but eh...
Over all this show is too preachy. It starts from a compelling point, but usually loses me. If you feel like wasting time you should go for it. Otherwise, stay away or you'll feel compelled to watch them all.

Heroes: Let the good times roll, again... Nope

I'd say that HEROES, which I know watch in about 6 minutes, has gotten worse, but that's not possible. In fact, I'd say it's more likely to turn a corner and become unintentionally funny as it continues to take itself seriously and continues to be garbage.
Anyway, Hero had gone back in time to save Charlie (Jayma Mays), the brief love of his life. She had been murdered by Sylar in season one, and for some stupid reason Hero finally deemed it time to go back and right that sad note.
I've already wasted more time talking about HEROES than I played to, so i'm going to abruptly wrap this up...
1. Just by bringing the viewer back to season one will not rekindle the magic of season one.
2. It is a crime the way Jayma Mays was wasted on this show. She is one of my favorite actresses, most likely because i have a crush on her.
3. What a throwaway storyline with Noah Bennet. Just a waste.
4. WHY DO I KEEP WASTING MY TIME WITH THIS SHOW!!!
5. Nathan is officially gone from HEROES. One of the most interesting characters is gone. The only encouraging thing is that more actors might be going and it can become the Noah and Sylar show, except...
6....THEY'RE bring Surresh back!! GOD NO! He's awful. The show is awful. Ughh.

OH Yeah

During my senior year of college one of my roommates sent me a link to a song by 3OH!3. I thought it was amusing and had a beat i could follow, but for the most part I regarded the song as a joke.
Well, I was watching the trailer for a movie call WHEN IN ROME and it said the movie featured music from 3OH!3 with Katy Perry. I'm a huge fan of Katy Perry so i immediately youtubed the song, which is when i made the connection to the other song about Helen Keller and dancing with one's hips.
Why am I telling you this? To recommend the video for Starstruck. The song is ok, but the video is hilarious. Maybe not hilarious, but I really enjoyed watching the two guys fawn after women in the video. Plus, Katy Perry is smoking hot, so it's got something for everybody. If everybody is a guy. Or a girl into kind of geeky guys. Or lesbians. See, everybody!
Here's a link to the video. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dvf--10EYXw

p.s. Try to guess the girl in the beginning of the video. If you know the answer post it as a comment. Hint: She used to be relevant in the 90s.

Season 4 and still Sunny

I recently purchased and devoured season four of ALWAYS SUNNY IN PHILADELPHIA on DVD. The show is in fine form throughout the year, as there isn't a stinker episode in the whole bunch.
In particular I'm fond of the "Night Man Cometh," which revolves around a musical Charlie writes to woo his love, who is simply known as "The Waitress." This by far the wackiest episode ever, and that's saying something.
"Night Man Cometh" is also the inspiration for the best (of the limited) extras. The gang put on a live expanded version of this episode, which is on the DVD. The episode includes extra songs and offers a personal feel that kind of freaks me out.
The extras are really disappointing for this season, especially considering all the extra content that is available on HULU. I thought at the very least they'd repackage some of that stuff for the DVD, but instead we're limited to the live episode, a story from DEnnis Reynolds' erotic life and a blooper reel that isn't long at all.
Luckily the episodes are so funny that I'm not too bummed about the lack of extras. I would recommend buying this season if you can get it for under $30, which you can at Amazon. Also, watch ALWAYS SUNNY now, as it is currently in its fifth season on FX.

Bored back to life

So BORED TO DEATH is finally hitting its stride, but only as it shakes off the constraints of show's premise. DEATH is supposed to be about a writer moonlighting as a Private Detective, which is an entertaining concept. This concept has gotten the show only so far and actually represents the weakest facet of the show. The strength of the show comes from the relationships, which are made interesting by Ted Danson and Zak Galifianakis.
Danson and Galifianakis are extremely entertaining (as I've previously written) as boss and friend respectively. In the last two episodes, and in the finale, the work/personal worlds collide in a very winning fashion. Both actors are good foils for the lead, Jason Schwartzman, who needs to be toned down. He wasn't getting toned down when the show revolved primarily around his cases, or when he was on these cases alone.
BORED TO DEATH is a unique television experience. It's unlike anything else on television in its delivery and design. There is no disputing the poor start of DEATH, but it has turned around late in its freshman season. If there is a strong finale, as it seems there will be, I'll deem this season a success and would look forward to next season.